The stars at night are big and bright...

The stars at night are big and bright...
The stars at night are big and bright...

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

From our "What could possibly go wrong?" Department

Last October the Ukrainian Navy announced it's plan to arm dolphins with frikkin' pistols on their heads to kill enemy divers:

Dolphins were trained at Sevastopol for the Soviet Navy as far back as 1973. They were trained to find military equipment such as sea mines on the seabed as well as attacking divers and even carrying explosives on their heads to plant on enemy ships.
After the breakup of the USSR and division of the Black Sea Fleet into Ukrainian and Russian fleets, the dolphin training section and its specialists were given to the Ukrainian Navy. They were then used for civilian tasks such as working with disabled children, in order to keep the unit intact.
The killer-dolphins will be trained to attack enemy combat swimmers using special knives or pistols fixed to their heads, the source said. "We are now planning training exercises for counter-combat swimmer tasks in order to defend ships in port and on raids," he said.

What could possibly go wrong?

SEVASTOPOL, March 12 (RIA Novosti) - Three of the Ukrainian navy's “killer” dolphins that swam away from their handlers during training exercises probably left to look for mates, an expert said on Tuesday.
Ukrainian media reported earlier this month that only two of five military-trained dolphins returned to their base in the Crimean port of Sevastopol after a recent exercise.
Ukraine’s Defense Ministry denied the reports, while refusing to confirm the navy makes use of dolphins, despite the frequent appearance in Ukrainian media of photographs of dolphins with military equipment strapped to them.

Sex crazed 007 dolphins, that's what.


an Donalbane said...

So, a dolphin just bellies up to the kipper snack bar, chirps "Fa loves Pa", and he gets issued a PPK?

Maybe Mark Kelly needs to be arguing for marine life background checks.

an Donalbane said...

BTW, my [metal] lunchbox in 1st-3rd grade was...a Flipper lunchbox.

Wonder if it's in my folks' attic?