The stars at night are big and bright...

The stars at night are big and bright...
The stars at night are big and bright...

Sunday, May 31, 2015

Just one of my typical days.

Saturday started out in the rain at 9am unhooking the swather from my tractor and hooking it to my F350 to tow over to my BIL's welding shop. Spent 30 minutes looking for my new $18 gloves. Finally gave up, then found them sitting on the tongue of the swather soaked like a sponge (been there all night, 3 1/2" of rain). It was a sign.

As you can see from the picture the tongue is on the left end of the swather and even in the fully retracted position it tracks FAR to the right. I get hooked up and make my way at 25mph taking up all my lane and 1/2 of the oncoming on the hilly, twisty FM road cheating death and dodging idiots not paying attention all the way. About a mile out of Alvord I see one of the old rotten implement tires going flat. I ran over something in the ditch when I had to scoot over for a truck. 

I barely make it to the County maintenance barn driveway before it rolls off the rim. I pull out my 4-way and bottle jack but for some dumbass reason I decided to clean out the bed of my truck a couple weeks ago and took all my wood blocks out. I look around and scrounge up a couple rocks to put under the jack so I can unhook then start to jack up the flat. Problem. Bottle jack is too tall to fit under the bottom of the leg and the leg is angled up for a couple feet. I need blocks to reach a safe jacking point and we've already covered that. 

I leave it sitting on the side of the road and drive on over to BIL's and steal a wheel off his square baler and a shitload of blocks. We head back to the swather, pull the flat off and then he tells me it's the wrong bolt pattern (we'll revisit this point). His baler is an 8 lug and my swather is a 6, I'm going to need a tire. 

I leave it again (this time sitting on blocks) take BIL home, then head to Decatur in search of a tire. I get to the tire store at 12:05 and everybody is looong gone. Same thing at McMaster New Holland. I go to Tractor Supply and the closest thing they have is a skinny front tire for a 9-N Ford (no worky). I call AgVantage and they don't even carry tires. Great farm stores ya got there.

While I'm leaning against the tailgate of my truck trying to think of somewhere I can find a tire after Noon on a Saturday I look at my wheel laying next to BIL's wheel. They are both universal and will fit either a 6 or 8 lug pattern. I should have looked for myself when he said it wouldn't fit. I head back to the swather, put the baler wheel on and finally make it to BIL's. It's 3:30 and he has to be somewhere at 4.

At least it's sitting at the welding shop and it isn't leaving until it's fixed.

Unfortunately I'll have to buy 2 new tires to get it back home.

Friday, May 15, 2015

Big Time in Hollywood, FL

If you have Comedy Central you need to set your DVR for Wednesday nights at 9:30. Big Time in Hollywood, FL is one of the most comedically brilliant things I've ever seen and yet so random I can hardly describe the premise.

The talented cast includes Stephen Tobolowsky, Kathy Baker, Michael Madsen, David Keith, Paz Vega and  Cuba Gooding, Jr (as Cuba Gooding, Jr). It's led by Alex Anfanger and Lenny Jacobson as Jack & Ben, the Dolf Brothers. They are a pair of delusional brothers who are kicked out of their parents house and forced to provide for themselves.

The plan backfires when they cross paths with Cuba Gooding, Jr (played by Cuba Gooding, Jr) and become pawns in an even bigger scam. Hilarity ensues.

BTIHF is the first scripted sitcom from Comedy Central. Ben Stiller is one of the co-executive producers. It is written, directed and produced by Dan Schimpf and Rob Schrab. This show is swimming in talent on and off the screen and it shows.

Wednesday nights at 9:30 on Comedy Central.

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Just a reminder kids!

This was from last year, but it's still the way things are. This guy is the exception. The rule is what the prosecutor tells him.

Sunday, May 10, 2015

What the #*@% happened to Texas?

Jade Helm: The Insanity that Ate Texas

Ran across this today and I had to repost. This guy gets it.

Of course "this guy" is retired US Navy Chief Warrant Officer and freelance writer Jim Wright. His bio says he lives in Alaska where he watches American politics in a perpetual state of amused disgust. He's been called the Tool of Satan, but he prefers to think of himself as the Devil's Designated Driver.

I like the cut of his jib. His take on the whole Jade Helm tin foil fiasco is dead on the money.

Let me be blunt, or blunter than I’ve already been: anybody, anybody, who believes President Obama is about to send the United Nations to invade Texas, declare martial law, and herd Texans into FEMA Death Camps Of Death cleverly hidden in a secret network of continent spanning tunnels linking Wal-Marts across the nation, anybody who believes this ridiculous howling bullshit in any way whatsoever should be darted with powerful tranquilizers, netted from black helicopters, pumped full of happy juice before they start eating their own feces, and installed in a dark padded cell where the most dangerous thing they encounter each day is a small plastic cup of institutional butterscotch pudding pushed through a small opening in the bottom of the door with a stick.
Read his entire no punches pulled post over at Stonekettle Station. We need more Jim Wrights in this world.

Friday, May 8, 2015

Cutting that hay is going to be tough.

Big Sandy is out of the banks at FM1655 & FM2265 south of Alvord. Good thing they built that new bridge a couple years ago. The old road would be closed right now.

My rain gauge holds 6 inches and it was full.

Thursday, May 7, 2015

Proof said Gods are not OU fans

TUTTLE, Okla. — An exotic zoological park in Oklahoma was hit by a tornado on Wednesday and the owners confirmed some of the exotic animals are “on the loose,” according to KFOR.

The wildlife park houses leopards, lions, alligators, tigers and other exotic animals.

Residents who live near the park were asked to stay inside their trailers.

Oh my!

Monday, May 4, 2015

Proof said Gods are against said blogger

Told you I raked my ankle good. It looks worse than it is where the discoloration is at. The pain is above my ankle and that part looks fine. Old age and blood thinners...

But yeah, up there it hurts like Hell and below looks like something Gauguin came up with after a few shots of absinthe and opium. In lieu of paid professional medical care which would cost the taxpayers, i.e. you money since I'm on VA Care, I'm using holistic herbal therapy along with a Kentucky home remedy. Hopefully, it will be a slooow recovery.