The stars at night are big and bright...

The stars at night are big and bright...
The stars at night are big and bright...

Monday, May 30, 2011

When Mutant Mosquitos Attack!

I hear they are really bad at the rock crushers.

Has anyone else noticed how big the freaking mosquitoes are this year? It's like some mutant strain has emerged from the Amazon jungle and they are bent on world domination. Talk about your freaking illegal aliens!

I killed one that I saw hovering near my arm and waited for the SciFi freak of nature to land before I struck down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. It looked like I had been shot in the back seat of a Nova. He already had a belly full of blood and the SOB landed to top off with a quart of The South 40's finest. I honestly had never seen one so huge. He's got plenty of bloodthirsty mutant freak comrades, too!

I was talking to a friend later that day that just happened to be a hot and recently single female, when outa nowhere one of the mutant skeeters swooped in and latched on to her cheek. She swatted at it 3 or 4 times before the bastard finally turned loose. I instinctively wanted to strike upon the demon for her own safety because she was having trouble, but that wouldn't have worked out well.

I'm not one to give rise to crazytalk or rash judgments, but... Let's just hope there's no sudden outbreak of malaria or some mutant form thereof . Chupacabra already has the "giant mutant scorpion plague" covered, but I think this mutant mosquito malaria (hereafter known as 3M) plague is a more viable apocalyptic threat and I can already see the signs. This may well be the start of Zombieland or The Walking Dead. I suggest hoarding food and ammo now. Oh, and lot's and lot's of this stuff.
Personally, I'm trying to track down some DDT. 
Meet you at Bill Murray's. (Or somewhere along the way if things go bad.)

UPDATED:No Trailer Trash In Our Town!

Un freaking believable.

UPDATE: This is a bit more info and a way to help from my friend Razer in Alabama via a forum I frequent...

Cordova is in Walker County, it doesn't get any more redneck than that down here. The ordinance was intended to keep the portable meth labs out of the city proper. They didn't take onto consideration the possibility of a natural disaster and the need for temporary housing. Mostly cuz they ain't that smart. The council could adopt a temporary measure and allow the trailers but they won't because the fear is some of them will become permanent.

My wife spent the day there helping those who can't help themselves clean up while I worked. She spoke with several people including the fire chief. Now you know the rest of the story.

Razer, Action News, reporting from Alabama...

Samaritans Purse is a great organization who has been here since day one. If you're of a mind to help but can't make the drive, they could use your financial support.


Wednesday, May 25, 2011

UPDATED: Lotsa Motorsports News!

Big day for race fans yesterday...

Kyle Bush got a speeding ticket. 128 in a 45. What's the fine for 83 mph over the limit (with an unidentified female in the car)? I think the ticket is going to be cheap compared to his newlywed bride's take on it.

He's already issued a full mea culpa:

 "Today I received a traffic citation in Iredell County. I was test driving a new sports car and I got carried away. I went beyond the speed I should have been going on a public road. I apologize to the public, my fans, sponsors, and race teams for my lack of judgment. I take responsibility for my actions and I can assure you that something like this will never happen again. I thank the Iredell County Sheriff's Department and all law enforcement for the hard work they do every day to protect the public and to enforce the laws in a fair and equitable manner." 

MAJOR EDIT: Turns out the "unidentified female" WAS his wife. In that case I have to throw kudos to KB. She has the right to enjoy the perks of being a World Class racer's wife and he wasn't stingy with the swag. 

I just wish he didn't drive for Toyota. Otherwise, I could be a huge KB fan.

Let the media beatdown begin!

Danica Patrick is going NASCAR full time. Starting next year she will shed her Indy Racing League firesuit and run the full NASCAR Nationwide Series schedule along with select Sprint Cup races. In 2013 she will run the full Sprint Cup schedule.  

Prepare for Danica overload. You think you've already seen Danica plastered all over everything? Bubba, you ain't seen nuthin' yet. Her sponsor/endorsement level will be 10 times what it is now. They are playingit coy with "where she will wind up" but she will be driving for Dale, Jr. He may not be much of a driver anymore, but Jr. has learned how to be one hell of a savvy media machine and he is behind Danica's every move. I think Jr. will become known more for being a team owner than a driver, much like Richard Childress. 

    I also predict Danica will become the first woman to complete the Memorial Day 1100. The grueling back to back Indy 500 / Coca Cola 600 marathon. I doubt she will win either, but I wouldn't rule out a dual Top 10's. It's a huge milestone and is legitimately within her grasp.

    UPDATED AGAIN!: Now Danica is denying the announcement saying she has no plans to leave IRL. Stay tuned race fans...

    Sunday, May 22, 2011

    Bring it on down to Liquorville!

    As usual Justin Timberlake rocked the house when he hosted the season finale of SNL. I would have never guessed I would become a Justin Timberlake fan and I can't name one of his songs to save my life, but the guy is loaded with talent and he's blog hit counter gold.

    Along with reprising the "Bring it on down" sketch we were treated to other infamous bits like The Barry Gibb Talk Show and another music video with Andy Samberg. There were also several very funny original sketches including the gameshow "What's The Name?".

    It may not have lived up to Betty White's season ender last year, but it was good stuff.

    Now I can't help but wonder who will be back next season?

    Friday, May 20, 2011

    Hey Grandpa, What's For Supper?

    I think I'd take Chow Baby's suggestion and try GoGo Gumbo instead.

    I have got to make it down there one of these days, but their schedule and mine have a failure to communicate.

    Gris-Gris a Go-Go | Fort Worth Weekly - News, Entertainment, Restaurants, Music

    Sunday, May 15, 2011

    Breaking News: Booze in Alvoid!

    Hello Mr & Mrs America and all the ships at sea...

    FLASH! (via

    Looks like you can get your drink on (actually off-premise only in this case) in Alvord (void) soon.

    Rumor has it that the election was the reason behind the expansion on the soon eventually to be opened Market Place store. First predictions had it opening last November, Then reports had it opening in March. But there was another delay with a fire followed by a huge expansion and redesign.

    Trust me, it's gonna open soon. Scuttlebutt says a substantial investment in new refrigeration equipment was just made for that store and Market Place is making a huge investment in Alvord being a long term venture.

    Good things come to those who wait. This won't be The Pantry 2.0 . This store will be the centerpiece of Alvord.

    Looks Like I'm Not Immune

    The gaps are becoming longer and more frequent. My *GARA  level is dangerously low. These are not good signs. But I'm not pulling the plug just yet. There is no DNR on file for The South 40.

    Like most of the other outspoken (I'm outspoken?) bloggers in our little blogosphere I've picked up a stalker/troll. This one happens to be from a different forum where I tend to rock the boat just to watch the waves (winning!), but he's threatened taking things to a whole nother level I really don't want to have to venture into. Something we saw not too long ago with another local blog. Honestly, I can't afford the time it would take to hunt him down and go all Jay & Silent Bob on his ass.

    Aren't anklehumpers fun? 

    What's an anklehumper? Pretty self-explanatory really. You remember when you were a kid and had to go to your Mom's Great Aunt's house and that annoying little dog she had that wanted to do nothing but hump your leg and snap at you? Well, it's pretty much the same thing, just the online version.

    Boils down to how much info you are willing to let out on the intertubes, what the wackos on the other end decide to do with it and how you react. Are you talking to your closest anonymous friends or are you giving details to who the hell knows who, to do who the hell knows what with?

    Either way, the thrill IS gone. Peace. Enjoy some good B.B. King.

    *GARA- Give A Rat's Ass


    I don't know Aubrey Martin, but the answer is yes.

    Tuesday, May 3, 2011