The stars at night are big and bright...

The stars at night are big and bright...
The stars at night are big and bright...

Monday, August 31, 2009

She's a Peach!

I've been searching for an RV for quite some time. I've only chronicled a tad of what I've been thru looking for one. Well, kharma finally paid off and I found this little needle in a haystack. It's a '78 Holiday Rambler on a Chevy C-30 frame.

It's an older RV, but it has been well cared for. Everything works and the engine is as tight as a drum. It has a ding in the upper right corner, but it was sealed well and has not leaked. I might not head off to Alaska in it, but I have no reservations about invading TMS 2-3 times a year!

She's redneck chic. Better than a flatscreen on top of the old Zenith.

The floor plan is surprisingly spacious with 2 queen size beds (or 1 queen and 2 single) and it has a large bathroom for a small RV. The interior is immaculate, but there is some wear and tear. Hey, it's 31 years old but doesn't look a day over 19!

I have Labor Day weekend off and I'm planning on taking a shakedown cruise to the lake. I need to think of a name to christen her.

It's easy to grin, When your ship comes in

And you've got the stock market beat.

But the man worthwhile, Is the man who can smile,

When his shorts are too tight in the seat.

The polls are open.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Icky Twerp: The Electronic Babysitter.

I stumbled across this blast from the past by complete accident.

If you were a kid growing up in North Texas during the 60's you know who Icky Twerp was. Bill Camfield was the host of KTVT's Slam Bang Theater. It was live local TV slapstick gold and aired twice a day, before and after school.

In it's early days it even featured a semi-notorious local stripper in a live sketch. Pretty ballsy stuff for the times even if it went over the heads of all the kids watching. SBT was not without controversy. Many mothers felt the show was too violent for small children. "Moms worried that if you watched Icky, you'd wind up hitting your brother over the head."

C'mon, Mom... The 3 Stooges violent? Why I oughta....

Now this was back in the Epipaleolithic ages when we had minimal options for a TV signal. But Channel 11 was a goldmine. Being an independent station with a strong signal, they had to create a lot of original programming. Bill played multiple roles to fill that airtime. Besides his role as slapstick Icky Twerp, Camfield also played late night horror movie host Gorgon. Not only did he host The 3 Stooges on Slam Bang Theater, he co-starred in The 3 Stooges film "They Went Thataway and Thataway!"

He was a very talented, yet troubled man.

One of my fondest childhood memories is running home from school as fast as my Track Kings could carry me so I could catch the start of Slam Bang Theater with Icky Twerp. As a latchkey kid of a working single mom, he WAS my Electronic Babysitter every afternoon. I can still hear the theme song playing in my head. SBT not only featured The Stooges, it was cartoon central with Icky, Delphinium and Ajax as the segue.

Next month, Sept. 24-26, Dallas' local cable-access iMedia Network will celebrate the 50th anniversary of Slam Bang Theater's premiere with Dallas filmmaker Richard Allen Kent's new documentary "Icky Twerp: The Electronic Babysitter".

Organized by Dallas' local cable-access iMedia Network, the three-day fest will include documentary screenings, '60s music, fan forums with Camfield contemporaries, slapstick workshops and a marathon TV screening of classic SBT episodes.

For those of you fortunate enough to watch this I highly recommend setting your DVR. Hopefully for us hicks out here in the sticks this will be released on DVD at a later date so the rest of Icky's fans can relive our childhood and enjoy the one of a kind talent of Bill Camfield one more time. Here is a link to the schedule of live events.

"He was an idea man."

Life is Cruel

Here I am sweating away on The South 40 when I could be sweating away in some exotic locale.

Barn (my role model) is livin' the life of Riley in that tropical paradise known as Maya Beach, Belize. Meanwhile, Ripsnort is spending 10 days on the North Shore of Oahu.

Great pictures at both of those blogs!

Friday, August 28, 2009

I Booked A Gig!

I have an announcing gig! It's been a while since I've used the ol' golden pipes professionally.

No, I'm not taking Greggo's place on The Hardline or replacing Bo & Jim's morning show. But I will be announcing the 2009 Wise County Sheriff's Posse Rodeo Parade on Saturday, September 12th in downtown Decatur.

This will be my second time as the voice of the WCSP Rodeo Parade.

I'd like to invite everyone to come to historic downtown Decatur and enjoy some family friendly entertainment. Pretty cowgirls, cowboys, horses, and music. I guarantee there will be plenty of free candy for the kiddos. It's an experience they will always remember and it's an important part of our heritage.

If you want a picture of me in my official Dodge Boys Rally Team windbreaker... Well, then I just might oblige.

Thursday, August 27, 2009


  • Every now and then I pull a rabbit out of my hat. My thanks to BG for the shoutout.

  • I'm always uncomfortable using the term "shoutout".

  • So far my RV search has been in vain. But, I haven't given up. Looking at another one this weekend. Before last week, I had never seen a crackhouse on wheels.

  • Mad Men is back on AMC! That show is greatness.

  • I still haven't seen Inglourious Basterds. I rarely go watch a movie in a theater, but I want to see this one on a big screen.

  • I always break the poptop off of canned drinks. If you had a moustache you would understand why.

  • Last night on Aces High during a 1 on 1 dogfight where I had no tactical advantage, I shot down a guy ranked in the Top 10. My pilot rating is usually somewhere in the Top 750.

  • I've always wanted to be a pilot.

  • I've also always wanted to be race car driver, an astronaut, an engineer, a baseball player and a cowboy.

Monday, August 24, 2009

That Really Grinds My Gears

I was reading the Sunday edition of The Mess and I thought I was gonna pop a blood vessel.

Buried halfway thru the first section was this little gem.

Precinct 1 constable Tom Bishop and Precinct 2 constable Leonard Denney
requested their salaries be increased from $32,000 to between $45,000 and
$48,000. Constables told the commissioners that their workload has increased
significantly, and that the position has evolved into a full-time law
enforcement job. Denney told commissioners he would not use all the money
budgeted for oil and gasoline ($12,000), and he would rather have that money
applied to his salary and non-personnel reserves. "I don't know what the other
constables have planned," Denney said. "Patroling what little I patrol, I'm not
going to burn (that much in) gas. I'd rather have it in my salary.

Bishop, on the other hand, said he has put 40,000 miles on his car in eight
months patrolling and said he would use the amount budgeted for his oil and
gasoline ($15,000). "I'm putting in 10 or 12 hours a day, sometimes more," he
said. "We're doing all the civil process we get, but we're continuing to do
other things. I know, myself, that I am trying to run a full-time professional
department now regardless of what it may or may not have been in the past."We're
getting away from the old idea of serving civil process because we're peace
officers like any other officers
" he said.

I have to give Leonard credit. At least he's honest about it. He wants the money for his pocket. Damn it I'd like a $16,000 raise, too. Problem is the economy is in the toilet and I can't have one. You're a public servant and your tax dollars are shrinking. You don't get one either.

Bishop, on the other hand, is playing out exactly as many predicted. His powertrip has elevated to Defcon 2.

He sold his personal cop car to the county in lieu of a brand new car from the county. Money in his pocket, not to mention a conflict of interest.

He began a traffic stop crusade and is racking up 5000 miles a month running up and down 287 & 380. Now he's running out of gas. How much gas did Dennis Hudson use? How many pursuits was he involved in?

Didn't these guys know what the salary was when they ran for office? Do we really need an additional layer of (predominantly traffic) enforcement? What happens when gas jumps back to $4 a gallon? Do we need to ask for additional money then because the cushion was already spent?

Lord knows we can't have any left over money. That stuff has to be spent!

Vote Republican. Smaller government and less taxes?

Friday, August 21, 2009

Movie Of The Week: Special Edition

Movies I'm Ashamed I Like


Confessions of an Easily Amused Mind

As sophisticated as I'd like to believe my taste is cinematicly, I have to admit I need my mindless entertainment fix from time to time. Why does everything always have to be so complex and deep to be entertainment? Sometimes you just need something that you can sit back, shut off your brain and enjoy.

Here is my incomplete, but ever growing shortlist of movies I'm ashamed to admit I like.

Support Your Local Sheriff/Gunfighter

This is basically the same film shot twice. If you have any doubt, watch the closing scene of both and get back to me. James Garner is a silvertongued conman in the old west. It even features most of the same cast including Jack Elam as his weakminded sidekick.

I'm sorry, but both these films make me laugh.

The Replacements

Yeah I know, it's a Keanu Reeves film. But throw in Gene Hackman, Jack Warden, John Madden, Pat Sommerall, Orlando Jones and Rhys Ifans along with a lovable cast of misfits and hot girls and that my friends is some good stuff that won't overload your braincells.

Lone Wolf McQuade

Quite possibly the greatest Chuck Norris cinematic achievement evar!

'Nuff said.

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back!

You got your Jay. You got your Silent Bob. You got your revenge on anonymous internet flamers. You got your hot women AND a monkey!

What's not to love?

Clerks 2

See above. Substitute donkey for monkey.

Porch Monkey 4 Life.

This movie is so chock full o' cliches it's painful. But any movie based on a C.W. McCall song just has to be watched. I was force fed this film and Mr.Billion for 45 consecutive nights in the Arctic Circle in a scene not unlike Clockwork Orange. It was the Double Feature from Hell. I think I suffer from Stockholm syndrome.

True story.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Que Sera Sera My Ass

You Sir are a ...

I'm tempted to use Al Swearengen's favorite word, but for politeness sake I'll refrain. I wouldn't want to offend the gentle reader with a word that rhymes with socktucker.

Sometimes life kicks you in the family jewels. With me, it has pretty good aim. Case in point...

I have been searching high and low for a cheap camper in good shape to take to Texas Motor Speedway for NASCAR. I'm tired of mooching off others kindness. Trust me, I pay my way. But sometimes you need your own space to get away from the crowd. A private bathroom is worth it's weight in gold. Hence my search.

Sunday I finally struck gold. I found a '79 Class C RV in good condition on Craigslist. Everything worked and it was $1800. BINGO! I called the owner on Sunday and set up an appointment to look at it after he got off work Monday. I called him again before I left and confirmed it was still for sale and told him I was on my way. I told him I planned on driving it home if it was as advertised. He said it was still for sale and I was the only one that had asked about it.

The RV was 100 miles away (according to Google Maps) near Greenville. I knew it would take a while and gave him a guestimated time of arrival of around 7pm. I told him I had to stop and pick up Brotherinlaw to drive my truck back. This was at 5pm.

I hit the road running.

It's been a while since I was east of Denton on 380. Did you know they have installed 9000 traffic lights out there? All things considered, I thought I made pretty good time. Having a pair of Corvettes playing ahead of me helped. Who's a cop gonna stop? A pair of racing Vettes or a Dodge pickup trailing them?

I finally clear Farmersville and I'm getting close. Google maps lied to me. It was not 100 miles away, it was over 120. I hadn't figured that extra distance into my ETA and I was already a bit late because of the enhanced traffic control devices the state so conveniently installed. I pulled into the owners driveway at 7:40.

I was pleased with the look of the RV as I pulled in. It looked like everything was as advertised. A few minor blemishes, but overall in good shape. I stepped out of the truck and the owner walked up. I stuck out my hand and introduced myself. My greeting was returned with "I already sold it".

[Insert long awkward pause here]

You're kidding me, right?

No, he is not kidding. He sold the RV to his neighbor 10 minutes before I arrived. He said he thought I blew him off and he tried to call me but couldn't get a good signal. I checked my phone and had 5 bars. He said he had a bumper pull camper for sale for the same price. I told him no thanks. At this point, I wouldn't give him a nickle for a glass of water if I was dying of thirst.

Seriously, I Shanghai my Brotherinlaw, drive 120+ miles one way and this is what I get?

Being a former sailor, truck driver and construction worker I have a vast colorful vocabulary to call upon and normally I'm pretty talented at using it. Today, I was at a loss for words. What could I do? The RV is sold. Throwing a cussing fit will not change this. My desire to punch this socktucker in the face will only bring me grief in the long run and still no RV. Doing a gravel slinging donut in his driveway won't change anything either. Besides, I'm trying to act like an adult.

I've been delt more than my share of disappointment in my life and I know how to deal with it. That doesn't mean I have to like it.

If there's a bright side to this story, and trust me I'm grasping at straws to find one, it's the fact I saved a buttload of money on gas it would take to drive the behemoth home.

Now, pass me the Xanex and a bottle of bourbon...

Saturday, August 15, 2009

It's All In The Details

As bloggers go, I suck. No, really I do. Barry has all the current events covered at LLLDQ. Monica has the young, hip and pregnant scene covered at Silicone Alley. Denny and Landshark have the politico situation reconed. JAG's got the single mom sector under control and Barnicle has the "I'm laughing my ass off livin' in paradise" beat down pat.

Me? I'm livin' life large with dialup from the middle of a North Texas hayfield. That's a pretty serious hole to dig out of.

To attempt stay on par with my peers I have to dig deeper. Look at the non-mainstream media source for the true, in-depth, behind the scenes report. Sometimes, it's literally behind the scene where the true story lies.

Case in point...

For the faint of heart, leave now. Silicone Alley fans, grab some popcorn...

A guy video ambushes his wife to catch her reaction after he shaves his beard in a funky fashion. What he forgets to do is clear the background before he shoots the video and posts it on YouTube AND a message board.

Check what's hanging off the makeup mirror at the :15 second mark. Is that a vibrating pump up butt plug?

Now I have to ask, what is more troubling? The fact said instrument is left visible or the fact the first person to view the video notices and correctly identifies the instrument and it's optional functions when said object is visible for less than a second in the background?

Just for the record, It wasn't me in either case.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

It's A Beautiful Day

Nothing like waking up with one of Uncle Fester's headaches in the middle of the night. I thought my head was about to explode. Between sinus and blood pressure, it probably was. I don't know what's blooming, but the pollen count has to be off the chart.

Friday, August 7, 2009

BREAKING NEWS: Decatur Apartment Fire

A faithful reader imforms me there is a huge apartment fire in Decatur. They sent this pic taken from near James Woods. They said it looks bad. Kinda impossible to tell from that pic.

edit: It was at Stonehill Apartments.

Monday, August 3, 2009


  • Decided to switch to Roman Numerals for the PJTP. Class the joint up a tad.

  • Carmen Diaz is not hot. Pretty and talented, yes. Hot, no. Isla Fisher is hot.

  • The NASCAR race at Pocono was rained out yesterday which means I got to watch it live today! Denny Hamlin won and it was a very emotional victory lane. His grandmother passed away Friday. Pocono has some great racing. I don't understand why it isn't more popular on the circuit.

  • Screw the electric bill! I cranked the a/c down to 70 today. I'm freezing and I love it.

  • I need to buy a used Brushhog, 6 ft or larger in decent shape. Anyone? Bueller?

  • I have been getting slaughtered at online poker lately. I think I've lost misplaced my Mojo.

  • How in the world did Man vs Food get renewed for another season on The Travel Channel? What is entertaining about watching a fat guy eat enormous amounts of food?