The stars at night are big and bright...

The stars at night are big and bright...
The stars at night are big and bright...

Friday, June 29, 2012

"I'm at LAX, and my pants are around my knees,"

Star Trek legend William Shatner was left nursing a bruised ego when his trousers fell down during an airport security check in front of dozens of fellow travellers.

The actor was queuing at Los Angeles International Airport to catch a flight to South Africa when he was singled out for a search by officials.

He had decided to wear loose-fitting clothing for the journey and did not have a belt holding his pants up - and he was left red-faced when they fell down, exposing his underwear.

Shatner says, "It was awful to have people looking at me with my pants down, probably the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to me... It was a long flight so I wanted to wear loose clothing because I didn't want anything to bind me."

I have it from a reliable source they thought he was smuggling Tribbles.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

The Creeping Enemy

Let's be perfectly clear, that is not MY arm.

I was sitting at the computer reading the news and enjoying a frosty cold Bud Light the other night when I see the biggest freaking stinging scorpion in my life crawling up the wall behind my monitor. That's no bueno.

I quickly grabbed a pair of pliers and screwdriver to pin him down (everybody has those laying around in their computer room, right?), then struck down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger and left him in an unmarked grave. While I completely dominated the battle, he may have won the war on terror. Where you find one, there's 10 more you didn't. Normally, I walk around the house barefoot. Now I'm sporting my steel toed Red Wings 24/7 and contemplating getting an NBC suit.

Not one of these...

One of these:

Yeah, it looks kinda weird when I go to bed, but I've seen The Arrival.

I also had one crawl up my pants leg once while reading a book. I felt a little tickle near my man zone and did what guys do, I scratched. I got a completely different response than what I was expecting. Before I could shed my pants the little essobe stung me 13 times (and I was shucking my britches pretty damned fast) and it was WAY too close to the last place you'd ever want to be stung.

Needless to say, I've been a bit paranoid about them since then.

Sunday, June 24, 2012

I'm a US Marine and I'll kick your ass no matter how many protein bars you eat!

That was my favorite line from the new HBO series The Newsroom starring Jeff Daniels and Emily Mortimer. But it didn't come from either of them, it rather unexpectedly came from Sam Waterston who plays elderly network exec Charlie Skinner.

You get exactly what you would expect from series creator Aaron Sorkin. Fast paced, detail infused dialog and razor sharp wit that's written for an intelligent audience. If you are in the lowest common denominator range, you might not understand everything that's going on. This show does not slow down for stragglers and that's the point of the show.

Will McAvoy (Jeff Daniels) (off camera the most egotistical and arrogant man in the room) is the most respected news anchor in the country because he's milktoast and plays it safe. He's Jay Leno. One day he has a conscious moment in a college forum and finally speaks his mind with common sense that rocks the audience. He blames it on medication, but his boss Charlie Skinner (Waterston) seizes the moment, hires Will's old flame Mackenzie MacHale (Mortimer) a hard core war correspondent with an equally hard core staff.

This show has tons of potential. Based on HBO's hand's off approach and Sorkin's track record (The West Wing, The Social Network, Charlie Wilson's War, Moneyball) this series will be held to a high standard.

This may be the next epic HBO series and join the ranks of The Wire and The Sopranos. Only time will tell, but I expect many good things from The Newsroom. Unfortunately, I may be in the minority. Nearly all the reviews I've seen or heard are negative.

Speaking of Aaron Sorkin, what if he had written other stories... like Twilight

or Ghostbusters

or Star Wars

Friday, June 22, 2012

This Guy Never Watched Bait Car

Ran across this gem on a car forum.

So last night about 3:30am, my wife wakes me up, "is that your car alarm going off?". It was. My BMW was parked in the driveway, so I look out the window and see nothing out of the ordinary. I disabled the alarm, and the doors unlocked. Then I see some dude with no shirt on get into my car!   I'm thinking "WTF?". I immedately lock the doors, then double lock/arm. Owned. I tell the wife to call 911, while I go outside and snap a quick cell phone pic of the guy just incase. After the first picture, he started getting pissed off and gave me the finger. I then went into the garage and grabbed my 3lb sledge. I stand next to the driver's door with the sledge in my hand and a very angry look on my face. If he tries to bust his way out of the car, he's getting squashed. The kid is obviously scared sh*tless, as he doesn't even move or look at me. Cops come and ask how I locked him in the car, and I tell them about the double lock.

Turns out the kid is drunk and he told the cops he thought my house was his friend's house. Sounds like a bs story, but whatever. He also threw up on the outside of my passenger door.

But yeah, double lock saves the day.

Obligatory picture of owned moron in his cage:

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Wilfred Returns With A Bang!

Wilfred (Jason Gann) and Bear (Bear)

Holy cow, they have really stepped it up at FX. The sneak season premier of Wilfred hasn't reached the first commercial break and all hell has broken loose. Ryan (Elijah Wood) is in a psychiatric hospital and Robin Williams is his psychiatrist. Rob Riggle, Allison Mack and Steven Webber also have guest roles.

Glad to see they pulled out the stops and committed to this very dark comedy. This season looks to be off to an excellent start.

Funny, very funny.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Lili Von Shtupp Conveys My Condition After Another Day Building Fence

It's twue. Let's face it I'm kaput. The good news is the hardest part is done. The bad news is I had very little to do with that. Huge Tip O' The Hat to the hands from M/R Fabrication in Alvord. I have the best looking corner posts in the county. I also have a nice clean right of way cut thru some tough terrain. Great job!

I've been working the snot out of my Suzuki Carry. It puts a Mule or Gator to shame. It's been hauling pipe, fence posts, wire, coolers, you name it. The stripper pole came in handy for the guy in the back throwing out t-posts. It was a great hand hold, but made for some awkward photo opportunities. I didn't take any, but I wouldn't trust anyone that might have had a cell phone handy and wanted a picture of their coworker hanging off a stripper pole...

Larry Lee rigged up a kick ass receiver hitch from some scrap steel that was just laying around. Then he loaned me his personal wire spool to string the barbed wire. It slides right in the receiver hitch. Just put the Carry in 4WD Low and let it crawl.

Larry's great at coming up with stuff like that. He's the guy that built the Smoking Gun smoker we used to take to NASCAR. He told me about his latest project, a "Little Red Wagon". Think "Radio Flyer" crossbred with a Monster Truck. It's gonna be cool.

To Boldly Go Where Nothing Has Gone Before

Humanity escapes the solar system: Voyager 1 signals that it has reached the edge of interstellar space - 11billion miles away

With absolutely no attempt at hyperbole at all, it is fair to say that this is one of - if not the - biggest achievement of the human race.

For, as we speak, an object conceived in the human mind, and built by our tools, and launched from our planet, is sailing out of the further depths of our solar system - and will be the first object made by man to sail out into interstellar space.

The Voyager 1, built by Nasa and launched in 1977 has spent the last 35 years steadily increasing its distance from Earth, and is now now 17,970,000,000km - or 11,100,000,000miles - away, travelling at 10km a second.

Indications over the last week implies that Voyager 1 is now leaving the heliosphere - the last vestige of this solar system.

The Atlantic reports that the Voyager 1 - which is still managing to communicate with Earth with radio waves that reach us 16 hours later - is beginning to experience a bit of heat.

It is detecting more energetic particles around it, implying it it at the very edge of the heliosheath, which is like a bubble around the solar system, protecting us from the cosmic winds of deep space.

Voyager entered the heliosphere in 2004

According to The Atlantic, certain cosmic rays have a hard time entering the heliosphere, but as of last month, the sum of these slower particles increased by about 10 per cent.

This does not necessarily mean we have crossed over - but it means we are getting close.

Voyager scientist Edward Stone told The Atlantic: 'This is the first time any spacecraft has been there.
'We're looking at our data every day - we listen to these spacecraft every day, for a few hours every day - to keep track of what's going on. ... It's very exciting from a scientific point of view, when you're seeing something that nobody's seen before.

'Since nothing's ever been there before, we don't know what it will look like, which makes it a little hard to recognize "it" at all.

'That's the exciting thing.'

It will be hard to define when Voyager has left. It will not be a clean break - the molecules will thin out less, and there will be no wall or set boundary.

What will the Voyager find out there? Probably close to an absolute vacuum, save for a few long-range comets which still orbit the sun.

Scientists expect to see several telltale signs when Voyager 1 finally crosses the boundary including a change in the magnetic field direction and the type of wind.

Interstellar wind is slower, colder and denser than solar wind.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Jr. Nation Is Partying Tonight!

Dale Earnhardt Jr. raced to his first NASCAR Sprint Cup victory in four years, ending a 143-race winless streak Sunday at Michigan International Speedway.

The victory came almost exactly four years to the day after his last trip to Victory Lane in a Cup race. That also was in Michigan on June 15, 2008.

"To do it for my fans -- they stuck behind me for all these years. I know exactly what they've been thinking about and how long they've been wanting us to get to Victory Lane," Earnhardt said. "This was for them. I appreciate their loyalty and their support. We wouldn't have made it back to Victory Lane without it."

"Those last 15 laps were the longest laps ever"

Lari Barager Never Had To Put Up With This

The one legged Benny Hill @ 1:28 and Orangeman at 2:20.

Good Eats

The last time I went grocery shopping I picked up a can of Margaret Holmes Simple Suppers Creole Fixins' for something different. That turned out to be a VERY good idea. Talk about good! It's in slap yo Mamma territory.

I did tweak it a bit. The sauce has rice and veggies in it, but I added 2 diced fresh picked garden banana peppers and a few ounces of red wine along with 3 sliced boneless skinless chicken breasts. I seasoned the chicken with salt and pepper and browned them in olive oil then stirred in the sauce and fresh peppers and let everything simmer for about 20 minutes.

Add some salad and garlic toast and you've got an awesome meal in under 30 minutes. Can't get any easier than that.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

I Need A Glider Kit

No, not one of these.

One of these!

If any of the South 40 faithful are in the truck business drop me a line and I can give you the specs. Needs to be a Peterbilt or Freightliner and HAS to be glider kit to get around the DPF rules. Ya gotta love loopholes.

Monday, June 11, 2012

For Every Action, There Is An Equal And Opposite Reaction

One thing is for certain. This is the final season of Breaking Bad and AMC is running it from the start.

General Virus Warning

I keep getting a Chrome virus warning from Google for Pretty confident it's from my newsfeed because:

 A)I've never heard of it and

B) I've never heard of it.

Shields to full power, Mr. Chekov.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Apologies to Jeff Foxworthy

Ran across this on a Ford truck forum I've become well acquainted with recently. If nothing else, it proves Ford Guys have a sense of humor.

If you choose a parking spot based on tow truck just might own a 6 liter.

If you can identify 7 different fluids under your truck, by just might own a 6 liter.

If you've got so many gauges in your cab that it looks like a 747 just might own a 6 liter.

If you've got a diesel tech on speed just might own a 6 liter.

If you got in a fight with your best friend over whether to lift a cab, or just might own a 6 liter.

If you tell all your friends to buy a just might own a 6 liter.

If Ford holds the second mortgage on your just might own a 6 liter.

If you have wet dreams that Ford bought out just might own a 6 liter.

If you are afraid your Brother In-Law will see you drive into the Ford service just might own a 6 liter.

If you tell everyone you meet how great your Torqshift just might own a 6 liter.

If you carry an emergency poster that reads "please bring coolant" just might own a 6 liter.

If you have every tool Snap-On makes, in your truck just might own a 6 liter.

If your baby boy's first words were, "head gasket" just might own a 6 liter.

If you are a member of more than 2 truck forums and pay to be there, you might own a 6 liter.

If you got your truck in a poker game, and you just might own a 6 liter.

If you are sitting here reading this and your wife walks in and makes fun of you because she knows what it all means, you just might own a 6.0 liter.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Wish in one hand and spit in the other...

I want one of these bad. You never know when you're going to find cheap fuel or be stranded and need a reserve. The fuel cap to the 40 gallon tank is discretely located under the tool box lid to hide/discourage any theft. The all in one design also helps disguise the fact it's a fuel tank.

But, my recent trip to the shop has caused a major fundulation situation. Having to work on the engine really threw a monkey wrench in my gameplan .

I want to Line-X the bed, then mount the CB antennae and back-up cam to the new toolbox/fueltank combo so I can see my GN hitch. Unfortunately, I spent that money on a new head.

I can go without the Line-X and new toolbox/fueltank, but I need to install the CB now and that's going to make things difficult later on. I have to leave room to modify the antennae mount when I finally do add the new toolbox without permanently marring anything in the process.

Monday, June 4, 2012

I Said "Good Day", Sir!

I thought including Ed McMahon was a nice touch.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Thank You, Sir. May I Have Another?

I got Black Beauty back from the mechanic today. New head, new gaskets, new hoses... the works. 
This was running thru my head as I cut him a check.

Saturday, June 2, 2012

I'll Take 2 Please!

After reading some of the customer reviews, I'd be a fool not to buy!

We had a black out caused by a storm about a year ago. Well after the 3rd days with no power, hot shower and a frig that was warm & rancid milk, I was desperate. I have a family with 3 small children to care for. Well my neighbor works for the company that manufactures these cables as an engineer and has always bragged about how great they were. Well he was kind enough to loan me a half dozen cables of a new prototype design and I gave them a go.

Not only was my house power back up to normal with in minutes but as I was standing there in awe my head started to itch. I mean really itch, I started scratching my bald head and felt fuzz all over my previously bald head. I rushed into the bathroom and looked into the mirror. To my surprise my hair was growing back before my eyes. I was in shock, you could see it growing as you watched. With in 45 minutes my hair had grown back completely! I have looked like Mr. Potato head for 20 years and suddenly I have a full head of hair again. Only one thing could have caused this! "IT WAS THE PROTOTYPE CABLES". That wasn't the end of it either. I herd my wife crying and rushed into our bedroom. I thought she was in pain but they were tears of happiness. She was standing in front of the mirror with a brand new set of 38D's and a 24 inch waist, and she is 48 years old. But now she looked 28 years old.

I could go on and on about these cables and all they have done for us. (Like my three children winning the Nobel peace prize and how they solved world hunger, BUT I will do that in another post when I update my experience with these incredible cables) These cables are worth every cent. I am a believer and so is my entire family. Pick up a dozen "NOW"! It will change your life. I'm not sure how they work, and my IQ is now 658 up from 108 (those cables again). Its could be the Noise-Dissipation System and the Counter-Spiral Geometry but my bet its really the flamadootles unversed to the square mean ratio vortex, coupled with their patented inner freshness lock & seal package. I will post updates soon on any new benefits derived from this product.