New Year's Drinking Game!

Every time Dick Clark slurs a word you have to down a shot!

Don't blame me, he should have retired years ago.

Mappy Woo Ear!

Amateur Night

You guys have fun. Us professional alcoholics are in lockdown mode...

I did pick up a decent bottle of  "domestic champagne". I won't go all sommelier on you, but Chateau Ste. Michelle makes some extremely decent domestic wines and I chose their Domaine Ste. Michelle Blanc de Blanc. I consider the fact I could find a semi-respectable bottle of sparkling wine in Chico, Texas a miracle of it's own.


I did make it known I expect at least some Moet & Chandon White Star next year. Rookies....


Here's hoping everyone has a safe, happy, prosperous and DWI free New Year.

Zooey & Joey

The Honey Badger Don't Care...

Extreme NSFW language warning. Randall is no Marlin Perkins.

More Gov. Goodhair

“Every barrel of oil that comes out of those sands in Canada is a barrel of oil that we don’t have to buy from a foreign source.” --Gov. Rick Perry 
h/t Daily KOS

2011 Fail of the Year Awards

Now Clean Up Your Mess!

Can you smell what The Rock is cooking?

A Krampus Carol

Merry Christmas From The (South 40) Family

How Bad Was The Cowboys Game?

It was so bad that during the 4th quarter Joe Buck and Troy Aikman were discussing how The Ticket was going to to be shredding the Boys with Fake Jerry and Fake Jason.

Fortunately with :07 seconds left in the game there was some excitement as Dallas managed to score a TD and avoid the dreaded shutout.

Eagles     20
Cowboys 7
Ticket      1310

Greatest Camera Strap Ever

I've just recently ventured into cameraland and I quickly discovered there's a ton of stuff that you get stock that is crap. Mainly, the carry strap and lens. I used the stock strap that came with my Cannon D1100 and nearly sawed the back of my neck off after just a few hours. 

I remembered a friend talking about a new speedstrap he bought a while back and how much he loved it. So on his recommendation I went looking for one and ran across Carryspeed. They are a Houston company that uses top quality materials so I ordered a CS-1.

WOW! Talk about comfortable and easy to use. The camera is mounted to the strap via the "speed mount" which also is able to hook to any tripod mount in seconds. When you are not using the camera it hangs at your hip, out of the way but at arm's legnth. The underarm strap holds the Carryspeed in position so it doesn't slide back and forth cutting a groove in your shoulder. When you are ready to shoot it smoothly slides up the strap into shooting position. It's a very natural feeling motion. The weight on your shoulder is much more comfortable than the back of your neck.

The CS-1 also has a zippered pocket in the shoulder pad with room to carry several memory cards and other small accessories like a spare battery or cleaning kit. It's tough, durable and comfortable. And at under $30 on Amazon, it's a great deal.

I was going to go to sleep...

But No Time For Sergeants just came on TCM.

What would you expect me to do? It is gaily presented about those first delicate days of military service!

Wrap Up: American Horror Story

Now I get it. The genius of American Horror Story has been revealed, altho it was out in the open all along for anyone to see. The story isn't about the family living in the haunted house. American Horror Story is about the haunted house. The family is just the latest chapter in the saga. Welcome to Hotel California 2011.

It wasn't until the final family member died that it all became clear. How would the story live on with everyone dead? You write a new chapter with new owners. Genius! I mean if you try to follow the Harmon Family's story, you've pretty much come to a dead end (no pun intended). Now, AHS has a clean slate for the writers to work with next season and they're armed with the same cast as ghosts, all with different agendas. Win/win.

Best sci-fi/horror/whatever since Hitchcock and Serling.

I Was a Very Good Boy!

Thank you, Santa!

Those Were The Days My Friend...

We'd sing and dance forever and a day..

I Just Finished Hanging My Christmas Lights

and they look nothing like that...

On The Radar: American Horror Story

If you haven't been following American Horror Story on FX, you've been missing the best SciFi since Rod Serling. The big difference between Twilight Zone, Night Gallery and American Horror Story is AHS follows a single fascinating storyline. I won't even try to get you up to speed, but you can find full episodes here.

Connie Britton, Dylan McDermott and Jessica Lange lead a fantastic cast armed with a wicked script.

Season Finale next week on FX.

Oh Lucy, I'm Home!

Wow, what a weekend! Altho I didn't quite go absolute Raoul Duke, I did give it my best shot. I picked a good time to do it, too. With the National Finals Rodeo going on, a Texan in full blown party mode blended in quite well. It's been quite a while since I was in Las Vegas. I saw Ollie Joe Prater at The Dunes if that gives you a clue.

I stayed at the Monte Carlo. It was nice. Not great, but nice. I would have preferred a few extra amenities like an in room fridge and better cable. I'm pretty sure the Decatur Hampton Inn has better rooms, but you don't go to Vegas to watch HBO in a fancy room.

Friday night I saw The Amazing Johnathan at the Harmon Theater outside Planet Hollywood. It was a small room by Vegas standards and I somehow wrangled a front row seat. If you've never seen his act, check him out on YouTube or watch for him on Comedy Central. He is insanely funny. Emphasis on the insane.

Jokes.com
The Amazing Johnathan - Perfection
comedians.comedycentral.com
The Amazing Johnathan Comedians Stand-Up

After that I tested the waters at Planet Hollywood for an hour or so then started casino crawling my way back towards Monte Carlo. I didn't take my camera with me that night so there are no Hangover pictures and that is probably a good thing because the free booze is still flowing in Vegas.

Cocktails? Don't mind if I do!

Saturday I had to pick up tickets to Ron White at The Mirage. This time I took my camera and caught the famous fountain show at The Bellagio. It is a do not miss and there's a performance every 30 minutes. They also had a very cool Christmas display inside. It was really stunning. Unfortunately, I took my zoom lens thinking that would work better for the fountain pics and it limited what I could get indoors.

To make matters worse I deleted the daytime fountain pics because some genius forgot to take his extra memory cards to Fremont Street and ran out of space. More on that later... I walked from there to The Mirage, got my tickets and started another casino crawl back up The Strip. Let me tell you it's not a 2 or 3 block walk either.

Cocktails? Don't mind if I do!

"Rednexican" Alex Reymundo opened the show and was greatness. He was the bartender at the comedy club when Ron did his very first show and they have been close friends ever since. In fact they're Brother In-Laws! Ron White who bar none is the funniest guy I've ever seen on stage had the entire audience in tears for about 90 minutes. At one point I was seriously close to a coronary. What do you say when Dr. Phil invites you to party on his yacht in Monaco? F%^# YEAH! After the show Ron invited everyone to see his very hot wife Margo Rey perform at B.B. Kings. Did I go? F%^# YEAH! Unfortunately all I had was my crappy phone camera.

Not only is she smoking hot, she's a very talented singer/songwriter.  

Ron is a very lucky man and I told him so. 

After that I... Cocktails? Don't mind if I do! Where was I? Oh yeah, at this point what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. I will say the rooms at The Hard Rock are nicer than Monte Carlo. But I wasn't really focusing on her room.

Sunday, I drug myself out of bed at the crack of Noon and reluctantly headed back to Monte Carlo to hit the seafood brunch buffet. (Note: Go downtown for MUCH better buffet deals than you will find on The Strip.) Then started another casino crawl until dark when I headed to The Fremont Street Experience, another must see.

Instead of a taxi, I took "The Deuce" a double decker city bus. As has been my experience, you get much more out of a ride on a city bus than a tourist bus or taxi. A Vegas local on his way home from work started talking to us and wound up giving a great guided tour. He knew the complete history of everything right down to the dates, costs, mobster info, you name it. This guy was a walking Vegas encyclopedia. So good in fact that people started walking up and tipping him when they got to their stop. He wasn't soliciting for tips, either. I have to say Vegas is an extremely friendly town, much more so than I expected. You ask anyone for directions or help finding where to buy something (like a memory card or USB cable) and they will gladly help you out and steer you clear of the tourist traps.

I was blown away by Fremont Street. I can't possibly post all the pictures I took. Every light show was different. My favorites were The Beatles, The Doors and American Pie. I wish I was a better photographer so I could have done it justice. If you do nothing else in Las Vegas, go to The Fremont Street Experience.

Click on the pics to embiggen.

OK, I know this has taken an ugly turn from The Hangover to Uncle Bob and Aunt Martha's vacation slides, but bear with me for just a bit longer and we can get this over with. Here's some showgirls to make up for it.

Better?

I felt guilty after deleting the Bellagio fountain pics and found a place that sold memory cards for only twice as much as they were worth. Plus, I wanted to take more Fremont pics before I left. (Note to Fremont Street Vendors from a former retail guy: If you sell souvenirs, sell memory cards.) Here's the world famous Bellagio fountains at night. These turned out much better anyway.

 They evaporate on average 1,200 gallons of water each performance.

I wish I was a better photographer, I can't do them justice.

All good things must come to an end and it was a LONG ride back, but well worth it. Everybody needs a weekend in Vegas now and then. It was a nice warm up for next month. 

Ron White & Dr. Phil are best buds?

What's worse than a shakey out of focus cellphone camera? No camera at all!

Our Program Will Return...

Not like you could tell, because I'm such a regularly scheduled blogger, but there's going to be a brief time-out around The South 40.

In the meantime, I thought I'd offer up a little entr'acte from one of my favorite films to keep you entertained. After all this IS bat country...

The German

The German from Nick Ryan on Vimeo.

Got 10 minutes? Excellent short film.

On The Radar: War Horse

World War I, Stephen Spielberg, horses. I'm in.

Blinded Me With Science!

I have one question. Where's the battery?

Mmmmm...

I cook a damn fine pot of beans, if I do say so myself!

Tears Were Streaming Down My Cheeks

Heh, I said cheeks... hehh...

In case you didn't know, Bevis and Butt-Head are back on MTV! (Wow, an actual reason to watch MTV again.) New original episodes air Thursday nights at 9, reruns scattered during the week. If it's possible, they're even funnier than before.

Mike Judge is a god.

It's Science

I'm memorizing that monologue word for word.

Nope! It's Chuck Testa!

Is it fake? NOPE! It's Chuck Testa.

He's Making Pancakes

But can he do "Scattered, Smothered and Covered"?

You DO NOT want to know what I found searching for "Rooti Tooti Fresh and Fruity".

I'm Shocked, Shocked I Say!

A second Iranian nuclear facility has exploded, as diplomatic tensions rise between the West and Tehran 

 An Iranian nuclear facility has been hit by a huge explosion, the second such blast in a month, prompting speculation that Tehran's military and atomic sites are under attack.

Satellite imagery confirmed that a blast that rocked the city of Isfahan on Monday struck the uranium enrichment facility there, despite denials by Tehran. The images clearly showed billowing smoke and destruction, negating Iranian claims yesterday that no such explosion had taken place.

Israeli intelligence officials told The Times that there was "no doubt" that the blast struck the nuclear facilities at Isfahan and that it was "no accident". The explosion at Iran's third-largest city came as satellite images emerged of the damage caused by one at a military base outside Tehran two weeks ago that killed about 30 members of the Revolutionary Guard, including General Hassan Moghaddam, the head of the Iranian missile defence program.

Iran went into frantic denial yesterday as news of the explosion at Isfahan emerged. Alireza Zaker-Isfahani, the city's governor, claimed that the blast had been caused by a military exercise in the area but state-owned agencies in Tehran soon removed this story and issued a government denial that any explosion had taken place at all.

On Monday, Dan Meridor. the Israeli Intelligence Minister, said: "There are countries who impose economic sanctions and there are countries who act in other ways in dealing with the Iranian nuclear threat."

Remember Melissa Kellerman?

You know, the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader that was blindsided by Jason Witten on Thanksgiving then tweeted about it, then had her account allegedly yanked by the Cowboys, then it reappeared, then she denied any strongarming by the Cowboys?

She's hot.

Is This How Bob Crane Got Started?

Sh-mile!

I needed to upgrade my photography capabilities before I go on vacation in January. Seeing as it's Cyber Monday (and not in an online hookup kinda way) I decided to see what was available. After digging thru the cybersale madness across the intertubes, I picked the Canon EOS Rebel T3 12.2MP DSLR. (I have no idea what I just said, but it sounds impressive)

It had overwhelmingly good reviews and appears to be the most bang for the buck camera under $500. The biggest complaint seems to be the "feel". Since I've never owned a high-end camera I wouldn't know what one is supposed to feel like. Crisis averted. Also a big plus, Ashton Kutcher is not their spokesperson.

I'm really not much of a photographer. Having only owned point and shoot (a/k/a idiot proof) cameras until now, this is a huge leap for me. I just hope I can learn to take decent pics with it before I leave, so be prepared for lots of random photos in the next few weeks. The good news is I'll be staying at a place owned by a very talented photographer so there's always the chance of osmosis.

Joe Duty, you've been warned...

Old School

You're my boy, Blue!

Joe Kapp punches old CFL rival at alumni dinner

The Bear will not quit - apparently, even 48 years after the fact.

In what no doubt ranks as one of the most bizarre episodes in the proud history of the Canadian Football League alumni luncheon, former Cal quarterback and head coach Joe Kapp, 73, got into a fight with old nemesis Angelo Mosca, 74, in Vancouver on Friday.

The fight had it all - fisticuffs, swinging canes and, of course, flowers.

As the video shows, the episode at the annual CFL alumni luncheon started when Kapp attempted to give Mosca some flowers as an apparent peace offering. But, Mosca rejected the gesture, adding an expletive.

From there, civility went downhill in a hurry.

Kapp, a former B.C. Lions quarterback, shoved the flowers in Mosca's face. Mosca, a former Hamilton Tiger-Cats defensive lineman, swatted them away. Kapp then swatted Mosca with the flowers, and Mosca retaliated by swinging his cane at Kapp, apparently striking him in the head.

So Kapp retaliated with his fists - delivering a right hand to Mosca's jaw, then a left that knocked him down.

Apparently, the bad blood dates back to the 1963 Grey Cup, where Mosca delivered a controversial hit on Lions running back Willie Fleming, knocking Kapp's teammate out of the game.

(It should be noted that Mosca went on to pro wrestling fame in Canada after his football career, but his reaction to Kapp's right cross looks anything but staged.)

One eyewitness said that earlier in the banquet, when the two men were seated at a table, Mosca attempted to shake Kapp's hand, but Kapp refused.

Kapp apologized to the crowd after the incident - only to follow up with a story about Fleming having a dog named Angelo, and how he gave the dog daily beatings.

Tim Ryan He Ain't

Ancient TV Greatness

Search, a/k/a Probe.

The original title Probe was copyright claimed by a little seen PBS science series. So when NBC picked up the pilot they changed the series name to Search, including the pilot episode when it reaired. Search was a great sci-fi detective series that only lasted 2 short seasons on NBC (1972-73), but I was a big fan and it really made a lasting impression on me.

Search was the Star Trek of it's genre. Long before Enemy of the State, Eagle Eye or NCIS's MTAC room where Big Brother is always watching on a secure channel, there was World Securities Corporation and their secret team of uber high tech wired agents. Gene Roddenberry would be proud of the sci-fi to reality ratio of this series.

Burgess Meredith starred as Cameron. He was the man in charge of all the covert agents and the high tech Search Control Center team that included a doctor, a multi-lingual translator and a computer hacker all on standby to bail the agent out of any tight spot they may encounter and help them carry out their mission at a moments notice. Everything a covert agent could ask for in the early 1970's.

There was a rotating cast of 3 agents. Hugh Lockwood (Hugh O' Brian), C. R. Grover (Doug McClure) and Nick Bianco (Tony Franciosa) who were constantly under Simon's watchful eye (like it or not). They had various never before imagined futuristic gadgets like real time audio/video communication, sattelite surveillance, pinhole video cameras, body scanners embedded in rings, glasses, cufflinks, ect. They even implanted a false tooth/radio transmitter/beacon in the agents so they could use morse code as back-up.

Very ahead of it's time and maybe that's why it suffered a similar fate to Star Trek. Unfortunately, Search doesn't get the same credit for it's vision.

DVD's of the series are hit and miss on the internet. But I definitely advise watching if you run across online streaming just for the nostalgia effect. Send me a link if you find one!

Happy Thanksgiving

What have they done to the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade? I decided to watch a little of the annual holiday spectacle just for nostalgia purposes and I was stunned. NBC has turned it into some sort of bad Broadway musical. Instead of watching floats, balloons and marching bands, I was watching horrible skits, songs and dance numbers.

WTF? I lasted about 10 minutes then I had to turn it off it was so bad.

Hopefully your holiday traditions are still intact and you enjoy the holiday with family and friends. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

A Thanksgiving Miracle

I didn't grab a picture, but I paid $2.97 a gallon for Regular unleaded in Ft.Worth today. As a point of reference it is $3.17 at Walmart in Decatur. I thought gas prices traditionally went up during the holidays.

Spiderman He Ain't

Kids, this is what happens when you steal candy in Phoenix, Arizona. This video is so chock full o' win it's hard to find where to start. The rooftop chase, the failed leap over the Tahoe (maybe that's why Tom Bishop wanted one) or the Randy White worthy open field tackle the PPD lays on Spiderman.

Next time pay for that Snickers or face the consequences.

h/t H8torade

Farrrm Living Is The Life For Me

One little thing I blissfully forgot about farming. It's a LOT of hard work. Getting one of the fields ready to plant oats this weekend (yeah, I know it's late) so Brother Inlaw brought over his equipment. He's got much bigger (and better) equipment than I do and it makes a hard job easier and faster.

He also (finally) brought over his backhoe yesterday and did some brush clearing around the house. I may actually be able to have a yard next spring. But today it wasn't used for clearing brush. It was used to gather rocks out of the field. Lots of rocks. I have the finest crop of rocks in Wise County. Big rocks, small rocks, medium sized rocks and half ton boulders. Some of the bigger ones I can scoop up with the front loader bucket. The rest have to be picked up and thrown in the bucket by hand.

I call it "The South 40 All Natural Full Body Workout". It's particularly good on abs and legs.

I did my best Tom Sawyer routine and offered to let my niece help me pick a bucket or two and she declined. Kids these days. They just don't appreciate the down home wholesome country memories that would make. Trust me, you never forget a day of picking rocks out of the field. Never.

The good news is I now have enough rocks to make a fine rock entryway into The South 40 (and pave a 4 lane South 40 Boulevard to boot). The bad news is I've barely made a dent in the rock crop and there's plenty more where that came from. They have to be out before we plant and we are planting tomorrow.

Now pass me the Ben-Gay and a bottle of Maker's Mark. By the way, if any of you ladies care to volunteer for the role of Eva Gabor I'm holding private auditions.

EDIT: I've already had about a dozen people tell me to get a rock rake like this:

 If you happen to have one I'd be happy to rent it for a day. Very happy...

When Ya Gotta Go, Ya Gotta Go

The whole thing lasts 6:18. But in that time all hell very nearly broke loose.

Delta Flight 6132 was in a holding pattern waiting to land at New York's LaGuardia Airport when the pilot had to take a pause for the cause and the door knob to the bathroom broke. It goes downhill from there.

First the co-pilot of Flight 6132 radios ATC that the pilot has disappeared, a man with a thick foreign accent is trying to enter the cockpit and he needs to call his boss. He'll get back to you...

At 1:45 ATC calls Flight 6132... ya'll OK? The co-pilot says he's still working the situation. You can just imagine the wheels spinning into motion at this point. Set DEFCON 3.

Approximately 30 seconds later ATC wants a clear picture of WTF is going on and the co-pilot says the Captain dissapeared and is locked in the bathroom and a man with a thick foreign accent is giving him the password to enter the cockpit and he ain't falling for it. Set DEFCON 2.

At the 3:50 mark ATC gives 6132 a turn instruction followed a few seconds later by a comment from another flight controller to push the panic button and declare an in-flight emergency. At this point they are lighting the fires and kickin' the tires on the F-16's.

20 seconds later it's all over. Maybe next time, Maverick...

UPDATE: In case you were wondering where the Flight Attendants were during all this, there was only 1 onboard. When the pilot left the cockpit, by FAA regs (2 crew members in the cockpit at all times) she had to go into the cockpit until he returned. That left the pilot on his own in the rear of the aircraft.

Ancient Movie Of The Week

Wow, talk about dragging one out of the mothballs. TCM is showing Onionhead this afternoon. I haven't seen that movie in over 30 years. It stars Andy Griffith in a takeoff of No Time For Sergeants. It's basically the same movie (country bumpkin winds up in the military, hilarity ensues) only instead of the Air Force he's in the Coast Guard.

Now you can see why I have an affection for this film. You can count movies about the Coast Guard on 1 hand and still hold a cup of coffee. Onionhead was such a boxoffice and critical flop that it reportedly is the reason Griffith gave up working in film and turned to television, thus bringing Mayberry to the masses. But, regardless of the branch of service, extreme resemblance to NTFS or critical pans, this is a funny, albeit predictable film that features a young redheaded Walter Matthau and pre-Rat Pack Joey Bishop as well.

DVR worthy.

He's racing every single lap.

Quote I just heard from Andy Petree on ESPN's coverage of the Kobalt 500 from PIR talking about Tony Stewart. I couldn't have said it better myself.

Smoke was one of my 3 picks to win the Sprint Cup when the season started. Kyle Busch and Carl Edwards were the other 2. So far it looks like 2 out of 3 ain't bad.

We'll see how this works out. Tony says the track's tightening up as the race goes, but he has a feel for how the car and track are responding as the race progresses.

90 laps and 1 more pitstop to go.

POST-RACE EDIT:

P3 and 3 points shy of the Sprint Cup points lead. Not too shabby. Congrats Kasey Kahne and Red Bull Racing.

Carl Edwards still has a whisker thin lead going into the final race of the NASCAR season at Homestead, Fla. It don't get any better than this.

See you next Sunday for the Championship!

Victory Is Mine!

I've had pure hell with my water system after I upgraded my wellhouse. I built a new one that will take an F5 to knock down, installed a water softner and jacked up the pressure 20lbs. Unfortunately hard water scale along with some chunks of dirt that got into the pipe during construction started clogging various faucets and lines in the house.

The pressure was great in the master bath, but on the other side of the wall in the laundry room it was so low that it burned out the water valve in my washer. The guest bath pressure was so low the toilet valve would not cut off and it would dribble continuously.

I tried backflushing with a garden hose, blew the lines clear with air, replaced valves and faucets. All to no avail, until yesterday. I was taking the cold water line off the washer for the 57th time this month but the faucet was hard to close and "crunchy". I took the line off the back of the washer and saw the screen on the new valve I had just installed 2 days ago was completely plugged with sand and scale. I took a turkey baster and flushed it clean then stuck the water hose in the mop bucket and turned it on.

I swear to God it went "Patooey!" and shot out a wad of sand and scale that would fill a coffee cup. I left it running until it exorcised all the demons from it's system. I hooked everything back up and it now takes about 2 minutes to fill the washer where it was taking half an hour. I did the same thing to the line going to the toilet in the guest bath and got similar results.

So, knock on wood, all this mess is finally behind me and I can start enjoying having nice soft water with reliable pressure. It's the little things in life...

Gimme a Fifth of Maker's Mark and a F150 and I can beat that.

Who knew there was such a cool track in Wise County? Well to be honest, I did but I haven't been there yet. That is going to change and soon.


I'm sorry but this guy's reflexes are too slow. He's entering and exiting the corners late. I damn near spun myself out of my swivel computer chair stomping on the gas when he hesitates. Jesus H. Christ son... drive that thing! Put me in that car and I guarantee you won't be looking at a Bowtie in front of you.

No brag, just fact.

On The Radar

Boss

I was intrigued when I heard Kelsey Grammer was returning to TV in a drama. His on screen persona and delivery is much like that of Fred Thompson, straight forward and authoritative. Prototypical powerful alpha dog. That is what makes Kelsey's comedy such gold (see: Down Periscope), it comes from an unexpected source.

In his new series Boss, there is no comedy backdrop. It's all dry, cut to the bone drama. You would think it would allow Kelsey to flex his dramatic plex, so to speak. But what comes out is so dry it makes Death Valley look like a waterpark.

Kelsey plays the fictional mayor/powerbroker of Chicago, a la Richard Daley. He controls the politics, he's corrupt, he moves whores thru his secret apartment at a rate that would impress The L, he has his own private goon squad and of course he has the "Good Wife" that looks at the political big picture over her personal pride. They do throw in a twist, he has an incurable debilitating disease and time is running out.

It's just too cookie cutter for me to swallow. But bless their hearts they do try hard. Personally, the hot blonde Mayor's Assistant and the very married Gubernatorial candidate that are screwing like bunnies anywhere they can find a broom closet is enough to keep me tuned in for the season.

For what it's worth, Kelsey does give some powerful performances, mostly in monologues to this catatonic disabled mentor, presumably suffering from the same disease. He's definitely NOT Dr. Frasier Crane.

Boss, Friday nights on Starz. It's DVR worthy.

Homemade Apple Pie

I first heard of "Apple Pie" watching "Justified" on FX. Then I found some by legendary moonshine runner and NASCAR Hall of Famer Junior Johnson at Mugs & Jugs. It tasted as good as it sounded, so naturally I had to make some of my own. I found several different recipes, but they were all basically the same. 

Here's the one I followed from Good Ole Ways:

1/2 gallon of apple juice
1/2 gallon of apple cider
3/4 cup white sugar
1 1/4 cups of brown sugar
4 cinnamon sticks
1/2 liter of 190 Proof Grain Alcohol

To get started, you need a large boiling pot. Add into this pot the apple juice, apple cider, the white and brown sugar, and the whole fresh cinnamon sticks. Bring these contents to a boil, then remove the pot from the stove and let it cool down to room temperature. Once at room temperature, gradually stir in the 190 proof grain alcohol. What you don’t consume in one sitting, you can bottle for later use. Store it in sterile Mason jars, place one cinnamon stick in each jar, and then store them in a cool dark dry place. After a couple of weeks your Apple Pie Moonshine will taste even better.  This batch will make about 4 1/2 quarts.

I used Mott's "Fresh Pressed" apple juice and added a little Allspice to the recipe to give it more pie flavor. I was hoping to find some fresh apple cider at one of the fruit stands on 287 near Sunset, but they were all closed, (damnit) and I had to go with what was available at Marketplace. I also used a full liter of Everclear since I didn't have any pure corn liquor. Fresh cider aside, it turned out FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC!

A word of caution if you dare to do the deed. After the first sip (and barely then) you can't taste the alcohol. This stuff will slip up on you like Charlie thru the wire. By the time you realize what's happened, it's too late... your already hammered. You can also experiment with adding a few drops of artificial butter flavoring.

Enjoy in good health, my friends!

Are Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck on Standby?

"We do not think that it will ever impact the Earth or moon (but) we only have its orbit calculated for the next 100 years,"

Well, let's hope they nailed that one.

http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/11/04/us-space-asteroid-idUSTRE7A36FN20111104

Rode Hard And Put Up Wet

Well, I survived another NASCAR weekend at TMS. I'm glad I went because it was some great racing, but I'm having serious second thoughts about going back. I can throw a bigger party in my backyard than we had at TMS. I can guarantee less of a police presence. They have finally sucked all the fun out of NASCAR camping. You can't drive golfcarts to the track on TMS property. You can't have stages, DJ's, bands or stripper poles. You can't (fill in the blank).

There was 1 band allowed on Saturday night and less than 50 people were in the crowd. Previous years there would be 3 or 4 bands per night and 100+ in the crowds. The our campground was lucky to be 40% full and the parking lots on Sunday looked to be about 50% full.

I could have stayed Sunday night and come home Monday, but I was ready to get the hell outa Dodge. After the felony stop FWPD treated me to Friday night for cruising the private, non-TMS campground in my minitruck, I pretty much made my decision on next year's vacation spending.

Rednecks With Paychecks and Bob Wills Days are moving to the top of the list.

Getting ready to head down to Texas Motor Speedway for NASCAR weekend. Just got off the phone with BIL and we have our gameplan lined out. I'll be set up tomorrow night in Finish Line Campgrounds (on the back row if any of you want to stop by and have a cold one).

Wendell, I know you will be at the track, but ya'll are on the opposite side of the track from me and TMS will not allow any ATV's or golf carts on their property (including the ring road), so it doesn't look good for me making it over to your camp this race, but you are more than welcome to come visit our camp. I need to buy a small moped or something similar to get around so I can go visiting.

I have a few surprises up my sleeve (as usual) for this trip. I bought new LED strobe lighting for my Suzuki Stripper Flag Pole, but I didn't get it mounted in time. (Maybe I'll install it while I'm down there.) I did install a new amplifier on my stripper flag pole sound system, so it will sound a lot less distorted when I crank it up. I also found alcoholic canned whipped cream. That may come in handy...

We will have fresh venison (thanks for hitting him, Littlesister!), steaks and assorted munchies to eat with plenty of leftovers for wander up guests. I'm thinking about making Green Chile Cheeseburgers for lunch Saturday. We'll see how that pans out... I'll also have the margarita machine set up.

It looks like the main thing to worry about (as usual) is weather. The temps are expected to dip into the low 40's Friday night and gradually warm thru the weekend and then rain on Monday. Let's hope that timeline doesn't accelerate.

I'll try to post updates while I'm there but, as usual, wireless service will be spotty at best. So your best bet is to drag your ass down to TMS and come party with us this weekend at the races and catch all the mayhem live.

How Was Your Weekend?

I was getting ready to watch Saturday Night Live when I got a call from Brother In-law. He needed a co-pilot for a last second hotshot run to Rock Springs, Wyoming. It's been a while since I've made a run West, like 23 years! I jumped at the opportunity to see the Rockies again.

BIL had never been west of Vernon, Tx much less the Continental Divide. I was happy to be his swamper/human GPS/scout.

We loaded up the parts and pulled out of Decatur at 11pm. We stopped in Iowa Park to fuel up and I took the nightshift so he could grab some sleep. I took the route thru Raton, NM and took advantage of the deserted highway to make some time. We reached Colorado City, CO just before dawn, refueled and swapped drivers.

Up I-25 to Fort Collins then 287 to Laramie, WY where we stopped for fuel and a quick kickass breakfast buffet at the Petro Iron Skillet. Then back on the road fighting the wind across I-80 to Rock Springs. We got there about 3pm, dropped off the parts, got our paperwork signed and were homeward bound.

We stopped for the night in Fort Collins. Both of us were ready for dinner and a decent night's sleep.

One note about Fort Collins, Colorado. They DO NOT know how to cook a steak. Both of us ordered medium rare ribeyes at Charcobroiler 1716 East Mulberry Street and were served charred bloody rare steaks.The meat was tender, but grotesquely undercooked. We were tired and hungry enough that we ate them and didn't complain. Besides, I'm leery of sending back food in an unfamiliar restaurant. But I will be happy to recommend you DO NOT EAT at Charcoalbroiler 1716 East Mulberry Street.

#GordonRamsey

I should have known it was going to go badly when we were seated in "The North Forty" dining room.

Back on the road at 6:30am this morning, just in time for Monday morning rush hour in Denver. Yaaay!! A couple notes about Denver, Colorado. First, they have added a few traffic twists since my last visit. Mainly a new toll road (E-470) that we should have taken to bypass all the construction on I-25. If we had taken that to I-70 then followed 287 we would have saved a couple hours on the way back. But, there were higher powers at work as we shall soon discover.

Second, they hate the Dallas Cowboys. The morning sports radio was quick to defend Tim Tebow's execution by the Lions (biblical pun intended) keeping it short and sweet. Then they went into an extended, excruciatingly detailed, blow by blow massacre of Tony Romo and the Cowboys at the hands of the Eagles. Both games were amazingly similar and both QB's made carbon copy postgame comments. But they devoted 3 times the coverage to a Romo/Cowboys bloodletting.

Stay classy, Denver! 

#Tebowing

We stopped for lunch at a little gas station/cafe that I wish for the life of me I could remember the name of about a half hour north of Clayton, NM, a/k/a BFE. The place isn't even on the map, but it's been the community gathering spot since the early 1900's and they had the old photos to prove it. It wasn't the same building, but the name was the same. Close enough. It was actually kind of surreal watching people slowly wander in from who knows where slowly filling this cafe in the middle of the desert, nothing else in sight but a view that would take your breath away. I was waiting for someone to yell "CUT!".

There, I found the greatest cheeseburger on the planet... The Green Chile Cheeseburger.

#AnthonyBourdain

They top a ground sirloin patty with pepper jack, grilled onions and green chiles. If Heaven was a cheeseburger, this was indeed paradise. Come to find out, the Green Chile Cheeseburger is huge in New Mexico. I found other burger joints in New Mexico advertising a green chile cheeseburger.  People we are missing out on a New Mexico culinary juggernaut. It's the reason the state is called "The Land of Enchantment". It's world peace and the meaning of life all wrapped up on a bun.

Trust me on this, you need to try a Green Chile Cheeseburger! 

We rolled back onto The South 40 at 9pm. 2172 miles in just under 46 hours.