There's Always Time For An E-Mail

From Bertha in Bugscuffle:

Dear South 40,

What are your views on the current administration and their effectiveness?

Dear Bertha,

Thanks for writing. My views are somewhat jaded since I thought we would be withdrawing troops and closing Gitmo. Surge?

Paul in Poolville writes:

Dear South 40,

My wife has become distant, my dog growls when I get home and my kids are calling my best friend "Uncle Frank". Should I change hair conditioner?

Dear Paul,

Perhaps you need a salon treatment. Take your wife's next shopping trip stash and book a carefree weekend in Cozumel. Trust me, it will cure any frizzies you may be dealing with.

Dear South 40,

My husband says we need new turf for our front yard or Cottondale will slaughter our young.

Signed Brittany in Balzora

Dear Brittany,

You have nothing to worry about front yard turf-wise. What you need is an indoor practice facility.

Remember, we solve life's little problems free of charge right here at The South 40.