TMS IRL Weekend '09: The Quest For Danica

Previously, on The South 40...



I let it slip that I had a hot date with a certain Cute Little Racegirl, Danica Patrick. Yes, she's married but I am a man of questionable morals. The fact that Danica has not returned any of my voicemail, letters, emails or FedEx messages is understandable. She's has to maintain appearances and keep it on the downlow or hubby might find out about our forbidden romance.

When I get to TMS I discretely slip away and prepare for our clandestine tryst. I searched thru the crowd, but no luck. I tried to check the Speedway Club but my name was not on the guest list. I guess you were so busy before the race you didn't have a chance to get my name submitted in time.


So, I went looking thru the crowd...

You're not Danica!

She must be waiting inside...

I kept searching...

You're not Danica!!!

I was beginning to become depressed. I was starting to think that we may miss each other when suddenly a black SUV came barrelling thru the crowd surrounded by a Halo flight of FWPD and D.B. Norton Troopers. I knew it must be you trying to reach me. I began to fight my way thru the crowd so we could hook up before you had to hit the track. I wanted to wish you luck if you know what I mean and I think you do.

The SUV came screeching to a stop just 15-20 yards away. I almost had your attention. I was calling your name pushing towards you, but suddenly I was on the ground and the security would'nt stop clubbing my kidneys with their nightsticks long enough for me to catch my breath.

I'm sure it was just some mixup with paperwork. These things happen and I forgive you. I'm sure we will get together after the race and celebrate in Victory Lane.

Here I am!!! Good luck!!!

The race was flat out and full throttle. She ran a good race but her car was not the fastest on the track. It didn't help that her "Teammate" Marco Andretti kept pressuring her for position then bad mouthed her after the race for running hard.

She had a few fiery words for him on the radio. I like a woman with spunk.

Sadly, Marco got passed her and took away a Top 5 finish.

I tried to reach you so I could console you after suffering such a difficult finish, but the D. B. Norton Troopers spotted me and I barely escaped with my life was politely asked to leave before they ruptured my jejunum.


Fret not my love, I will not let this minor misunderstanding get in the way of our true destiny. I'm sure the internal injuries will be completely healed in time for next year's race.



Until then...