Eastbound and Down

HBO strikes gold once again with this new series from Executive Producer Will Ferrell.

Eastbound and Down is the brainchild of Danny Mc Bride, Ben Best and Jody Hill.

Washed up former Big League pitcher Kenny (You're Fucking OUT!) Powers has burned every bridge back to his former superstardom. But that's not going to stop him from trying to make back to the bigs after being thrown out for steroid use. In the meantime, he is forced to move in with his brother and take a job as Gym Teacher at his hometown Middle School.

Kenny Powers is a complicated soul. He's a redneck, racist, steroid rage, drug addicted, alcoholic asshole. People just don't understand the problems Kenny Powers has to deal with being Kenny Powers. Do you know how hard it is not to be a superstar anymore? You become accustomed to a certain level of living and fan worship.

It's comic greatness, which is normally the kiss of death on television. But HBO is one of the few venues where it may survive. This show deserves a placesetting on your Sunday lineup.

Set your DVR to kill for Eastbound and Down, Sunday nights on HBO.

Time To Pay The Fiddler

Normally, I shy away from political posts. You know the 2 things never to discuss among friends is politics and religion. Well I'm going to break both those with the next sentence.

Jeezus H. Christ, It's been less than 2 months since Obama was sworn in and already I am beaten down with the "Antichristers". You know who I'm talking about. All those people playing the end of the world card. If you listen to them we won't have to wait until 2012 for everything to end.

Here's the gameplan:

1. Obama is elected


2. Obama is sworn in on The Quoran


3. Obama outlaws guns


4. Obama outlaws Christianity


5. Obama steals from the rich and gives to the lazy


6. Obama pardons Osama Bin Laden (they ARE related!)


7. Obama burns the American flag


8. Obama signs over the deed to China


9. Obama dances on America's grave as the 4 Horsemen ride past


10. Obama, Obama, Obama!!!

My God, what a thrashing! And to think all I've heard for the last 8 years is what a whiney, sour grapes, lilly livered bunch of people "Libruls" are.

I watched the HBO special "Right America: Feeling Wronged" by Alexandra Pelosi the other night. Oh, wait a minute while the right side of the earth stops shaking... I said Pelosi. Either that or Hansen is pulling a late night quarry shot.

OK...I think it's safe now.

Yes that's Alexandra Pelosi, (aftershock) Nancy's daughter. She's actually a very talented documentarian, but because of her last name, her entire body of work is null and void of any truth or objectivity if you subscribe to the aforementioned gameplan.

She followed the McCain/Palin campaign for the final months of the election and gave an open mic to those she spoke with along the way. It could have been an interview of Liberally Lean and Flamewarrior posters. The interviewee's predicted Obama was everything from Hitler to the Antichrist. The venom in their responses was incredible. One that really stood out to me was a guy saying if Obama was elected he was moving his family to Canada. Yeah, Canada is the refuge for rightwing, anti-socialist conservatives. At least they don't have that devil loving socialized medicine up yonder in God's Country!!

This was before the man was even elected. Now, I can understand election hoopla... My guy is right, your guy's is wrong. But, the level of racism and hatred was shocking for this day and age. George Wallace would win in a landslide if these people could bring him back to life. Most of these rightwing conservatives would call B.G. a "Librul". No, not Barry Green... Barry Goldwater.

Then there's the conspiracy theorists... Obama is not an American citizen. I'm fairly confident that if he was born in Kenya, not Hawaii, the Democratic party would have known that during the primaries and Hillary would have been at the top of the list of people telling you so.

But, Hillary secretly wanted to be Secretary of State, not President, and she kept her mouth shut during the primary elections. Riiiiight....

We are living in some troubling times folks. The economy is in a tailspin, people are buying guns like there's no tomorrow (literally) and unemployment is skyrocketing. The time to pay the fiddler is upon us and the bill is a tidy sum. It's not going to be pleasant, but we have to pay down some of this debt and get the public back to work.

Is this stimulus plan the answer? I don't know. But, I do know that doing nothing is not the answer either. I'm not in favor of massive government spending, but nobody on the right was complaining when Bush was giving away huge no bid contracts like they were Halloween candy. You know somebody has to pay for that even if you put it on your credit card, right? Try making the minimum monthly payment and see how that works out for ya.

Just be thankful they did not privatize Social Security like Bush wanted. Imagine what THAT would look like today.

Hard questions require hard solutions. Hard solutions require hard work. We have lived a charmed existence (economy wise) for the last 20 years. The nail in the coffin was the spike in fuel prices and questionable loans. The very same reason for our last recession/credit crisis.

We managed to pull out of that one and I'm confident that we will do it again. But to quote Pink Floyd we can only do it "if we all pull together as a team".

Put your petty differences aside and look at the big picture.

United we stand, divided we fall.

Remember, you're still on "Team America".

PJTP Vol.2

Yeah, I'm a bad blogger.

I haven't posted anything in days. But, to be honest I haven't felt well and things have been pretty dull around The South40. I really don't think you want to read about that, but here goes anyway.

I came straight home from work today and took a 5 hour power nap as soon as my butt hit the recliner. I have a feeling my upcoming visit to the cardiologist isn't going to go well.

On the upside, it was a beautiful day today! I hope you all had the opportunity to get outside and enjoy it. I don't think that Groundhog knew what the heck he was talking about when he predicted 6 more weeks of winter.

Taking Chance

This is one of the most powerful and moving films I have ever watched. Based on a true story, Taking Chance follows Lieutenant Colonel Michael Strobl who volunteers to escort the remains of 19-year-old PFC Chance Phelps USMC killed in Iraq to his family in a small Wyoming town.

It will no doubt win at the Emmys, but it's a crime that this film is not eligible for an Oscar because it would walk away with several. Kevin Bacon is magnificent. The screenplay is flawless. The entire film is a work of art.

Taking Chance needs to be seen by every American.

Thank you PFC Phelps, from a grateful nation.

DVR Alert

TCM's 31 Days of Oscar has some DO NOT MISS movies coming up this weekend. It's some of the very best patriotic and inspirational war films from Hollywood's Golden Era starting this afternoon at 4:30 with Gary Cooper in Sergeant York. The true story of Sgt. Alvin York, a pacifist from Tennessee that won the Congressional Medla Of Honor in WWI.

Then 7:30 Saturday morning 30 Seconds Over Tokyo with Van Johnson. Later 3 of my personal "Top 10". From Here To Eternity, They Were Expendable and Destination Tokyo.

From Here To Eternety is a masterpiece featuring the talent of Burt Lancaster, Montgomery Clift and a strong supporting cast featuring Ernest Borgnine and Frank Sinatra. Debra Kerr and Donna Reed turn in very racy performances for the times. Those times happen to be the days leading up to Pearl Harbor.

They Were Expendable is a marvelous movie starring Robert Montgomery and John Wayne. It is an inspiring tale that follows a PT Boat Squadron stationed in the Philippines during early WWII. The film started production under the direction of John Ford. But Ford fell ill and handed off his duties to an untested Robert Montgomery. John Ford had confidence in Montgomery. Robert was a Navy Reserve Officer and a talented actor. He understood the technical aspects of the film and the importance of getting the story told to the American public. He did not disappoint in his performance in front of and behind the camera. This may be my favorite film.

Destination Tokyo stars Van Johnson and Robert Walker as crew members of "The Ruptured Duck", a B-25 Mitchell bomber in Doolittle's Tokyo Raid. Spencer Tracy plays Lt.Col. Jimmy Doolittle in this film that follows the crew from secret training to crash landing on the China coast. Van Johnson turns in an unforgettable gut wrenching performance as Ted Lawson, pilot of the ill fated crew.

Destination Tokyo takes you into battle with Cary Grant and John Garfield aboard a US submarine that sneaks into Tokyo Bay on a spy mission laying the crucial groundwork for Doolittle's Raid and then has to fight their way back home.

But wait, there's more!

TCM also has Torpedo Run with Glenn Ford and Ernest Borgnine, followed by Bombardier with Pat O'Brien and Randolph Scott. In all over 18 hours of Oscar winning war films. In between TCM has Raintree County, The Alamo, The Graduate and Gone With The Wind.

WOW! That's a pretty impressive weekend lineup for any network, and it's all uncut and commercial free.

That's Just WRONG!

Has anyone seen the new Boost Mobile commercial?
The girl has armpit hair 3 feet wrong...err long.

I am permanently scarred after watching that. Thank God I have AT&T!

It's Alive!

I don't know how much Barry spent on that Master Cleanse diet, but I could have saved him some time and money. Just try the Double Patty Melt from Sonic in Bridgeport!

It literally kicked my ass the last 3 days. Fortunately I spent my last day of 2008 vacation and took Sunday off to watch Daytona so I would have a 3 day weekend. I barely rose from bed for about 48 hours. Last night I got brave and tried some Chicken Noodle soup. That seemed to go pretty well, but I'm still far from 100%.

Baby steps...

Kenseth Wins!

Matt Kenseth won the rain shortened Daytona 500. "The Big One" did not happen in Turn 4, but on the Superstretch as Dale Jr caused a massive pile-up after he punted Brian Vickers out of the way. Jr had been making mental mistakes all day and this was the icing on the cake. The only reason he was not penalized is because he's Dale Jr. An identical move in the Nationwide Series race yesterday got Jason Leffler parked for 5 laps.

I'd do a more detailed race recap, but I'm barely able to sit here and type. The Double Patty Melt I ate for dinner last night at Sonic in Bridgeport has had me in bed all day except for several rapid trips to the bathroom. It was either that or the non-stop barrage of "Digger Cam".

Not exactly how I had planned on spending my last day of vacation.

NASCAR Camping World Truck Series

The NASCAR trucks got their season underway in spectacular fashion. The new series title sponsor Camping World should be very pleased with the results. Todd Bodine won the NextEra Energy Resources 250 in dramatic fashion narrowly defeating Kyle Busch at Daytona International Speedway. Rowdy's tires gave out on the last lap and it was all he could do to keep from wrecking and save a 2nd place finish as Bodine became the Truck Series first 2-time Daytona winner.

Speaking of wrecks, Brent Reimer took one of the hardest licks I've seen in quite a while when he blew a tire and went almost head-on into the outside wall. His throttle hung on impact and his truck bounced off the wall, headed towards the infield then curved back thru traffic and head-on into the wall again. Fortunately, he was able to walk away. A testament to the safety engineering put into these machines.

SPEED's coverage was excellent. Krista Voda handled the Prerace Setup then handed it off to Rick Allen, Phil Parsons and Michael Waltrip. These guys are a great team and call an exciting race. IMHO, they are second only to to FOX's Mike Joy, Larry McReynolds and Darrel Waltrip.

Todd Bodine won the race in an unsponsored ride. I can't understand why the Truck Series has trouble attracting fans and sponsors. Week in and week out it is the most entertaining of the NASCAR lineup. Seasoned veteran's and young wannabe's. Old age and treachery versus youth and exuberance. These guys battle it out on every single lap. It's definitely worth the price of admission.

We have a NCWTS race coming up at Texas Motor Speedway on April 3rd. If you've never been to a car race and wonder what all hype is about, go check out the NASCAR Camping World Truck Series. Cheap tickets, plenty of thrills and fun for the whole family!

I Demand A Recount!

Polls are closed, all precincts reporting and it's a landslide. OK, I'll take your advice and greenlight this. No promises about posting any details.

A Gentleman doesn't kiss and tell.

A Musical Interlude

The Road Goes On Forever

Times Are Tougher Than We Think

Just finished watching ESPN's NASCAR Now (the monday roundtable edition with Allen Bestwick). There was a story about a couple that couldn't afford their yearly trip to Bristol and was trying to sell their season tickets. Nobody wanted them! They tried eBay and there were over 50 different auctions already up and most of them had no bids. They called ticket brokers and were hung up on. The racetrack had tickets for $20 they were trying to sell.

It's a bad time to be a scalper, nobody wants to buy tickets. I bought season tickets to TMS for the first time this year and was thinking of selling the races I didn't care about or get off work for like IRL. Looks like I'll have to eat them.

Are times really that hard for the rest of the nation? I know you hear doom and gloom everyday on the news, but they are usually fear mongers. Maybe this is the real "Wolf!" cry. We have our own little economic bubble here in the WC and it's seeing some downturn, I've heard of layoffs and slowdowns in the oilfield. But there are still jobs out there. I'm not making the greatest money, but I've got job security. People gotta eat.

Just the other day BrotherInLaw told me someone offered to sell him Bristol tickets and we thought we had struck gold. Who knew? Good thing he didn't buy them yet! The price just went waaaaaay down.

Everybody's Workin' For The Weekend!

Yeah, I know it's Sunday for you, but it's Friday for me. Being on an altered schedule from the rest of the planet has it's ups and downs. More downs than ups to be honest. It puts my social life at less than zero, make ordinary things like taking trash to the dump a pain in the ass (closed Monday & Tuesday), I miss watching most live sporting events (including NASCAR) and I can never make 2nd Monday Trade Days in Bowie. Surprisingly, even tho it's called 2nd Monday it's on Saturday and Sunday.

On the up side, I get to indulge the mediaphile inside me and stay up to watch the best night of original programming on television. Between HBO, Showtime and Cartoon Network's Adult Swim 98% of the shows worth watching are on. Thank God for DVR's and West Coast feeds.

Take tonight for instance. Start out with HBO's Big Love and Flight of the Conchords followed by Showtime's Secret Diary of a Callgirl and United States of Tara. Then a quick flip to Adult Swim for Robot Chicken, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Superjail and Metalocalypse.

The programs change during the year, but they put the best they have to offer out on Sunday nights. Dexter, Entourage, Californication, Weeds, The Venture Brothers, Squidbillies and HBO miniseries are other shows of greatness that call Sunday night home. But hey all have one thing in common. They are the cream of the creative crop that the networks have to offer.

So to recap, while you're going clubbing, watching sports, meeting with friends and having cookouts I'm getting the job done. And when you are waking up to go to work Monday morning, I'm staying up late watching TV then snuggled up like a burrito in my blanket sleeping til Noon.

Like I said, more downs than ups.

The Wait Is Finally Over!

Welcome to Daytona Speed Week 2009! After watching the first practice session I am going way out on a limb and say that "The Big One" will be coming out of Turn 4. I saw almost every car get sideways there today and there were a couple of VERY close calls.

God help me I love this sport! My heart gets pounding like I just ran a marathon (OK, like I ran real fast to the beerfridge and back during the commercial). Bumper to bumper, trading paint 3 wide at over 190 MPH. How can you help but feel the adrenaline rush? I should be behind the wheel!

Allen Bestwick: You've just won the Daytona 500!

Me: Allen, I can't believe it! The Daytona 500! The South40/IGA/DirecTv/Banquet Frozen Dinners/Kool- Aid/Victoria's Secret/Purina Dog Chow Ford Fusion ran great all day! My crew was unbelieveable. They got us spots coming out of the pits and my Crew Chief made that call that was turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Those Goodyear tires really dug in there at the end.

I want to thank my sponsors Bud Light, Sunoco, Burger King, DrPepper, Mrs. Baird's Bread, Microsoft, Viagra, Kleenex, Mobil 1, Johnson's Baby Shampoo, Cheerios, Sham-Wow!, Pier 1 Imports, Lucky Charms, State Farm Insurance, Bell Helicopter, Crisco, Goody's Headache Powder, Reese's Pieces and Elmer's Glue. Gosh, I hope I didn't forget anyone. They are all so important to me and this wonderful team!

See? Tell me I can't do this job... I was born for it.

I remember watching my first live Daytona 500. A huge wreck at the finish between Cale Yarborough and Donnie Allison battling for the win followed by a fistfight. I was hooked for life. It truly is The Great American Race.

This was long before restrictor plates, HANS devices, SAFER barriers, radio communications and the COT (Car Of Tomorrow). The men that drove them were not pretty boy TV stars. They were whiskey runnin', knuckle sandwich throwin', cross the finishline upsidedown at 200MPH with your hair on fire men. The cars they drove were by and large the very same car you could go and buy at your local dealership. True stock cars. Yeah, there was some safety modifications and under the hood, but most of the car was completely stock. That just excited the hell out of me!

Today's cars are all cookie cutter lookalikes. The only difference between them is the brand of engine. But they still have one thing in common with that first race I saw.

1 man, 1 car, 500 miles to the finish.

Here's a quick rundown of the events for Speed Week. A complete detailed look is available here.

Feb 07 - Budweiser Shootout/ ARCA 200

Feb 8 - Daytona 500 Qualifying

Feb 12 - Gatorade Duel at Daytona

Feb 13 - Daytona 250 NASCAR Camping World Truck Series Qualifying

Feb 14 - Camping World 300

Feb 15 - 51st Annual DAYTONA 500

Just about every second of it will be covered by SPEED and ESPN2.

On a sad note, John Daly has pulled the plug on The Daly Planet. It was an oasis in a desert of NASCAR media coverage. JD, I we all will miss your insider's view.

The Dating Game

So, I have been approached for a blind date setup by someone I trust.

Should I go for it?

Your vote may well decide.

The polls are open......

Just Another Lovely Day, Lovely Day, Lovely Day...

I was actually productive yesterday. I finished a long promised project and installed an outside water hydrant at my wellhouse so my BrotherInLaw can fill a water tank for his cattle on my pasture. (We're in the middle of a drought, remember?)

As my luck runs, it wound up backfiring on me.

First, a bit of background. When I moved to The South 40, I built a new wellhouse for my new well. I did a pretty good job, too. It used heavy steel for the frame, lined it with insulation and used 20 year steel for the skin. It was all 3 people could do to move the danged thing off a trailer and over the well. It weighed close to 1000 lbs. The one thing I didn't do was anchor it to withstand 100+ mph wind.

About a year after I did all this a tornado barely (and I DO mean barely) missed my house. I watched my ceiling flex 6 inches and felt my house shake like a 400 lb stripper while I sat back in my recliner with bourbon in hand and contemplated lifes events. It picked up the wellhouse and flung it 185 yards across the pasture before not so gently returning it to Mother Earth. It ripped the door off and twisted the frame somewhat, but remained more or less intact. I loaded it up on a trailer and returned it to the well. Since then I have had to resort to a combination of duct tape and plastic sheeting to keep the door on and my water from freezing. It looks like a Picasso design.

So I peel the layers of plastic and duct tape loose, install the new hydrant and button the thing back up. Job done!

Riiiiight...

This morning I wake up early for my dayshift, jump in the shower and start putting Sinatra to shame. Ol' Blue Eyes was not happy. After a few minutes the water suddenly starts to fizzle out. Naturally, I had just put on my shampoo. I managed to rinse most of it out under the trickle of water that remained. F**K!!!!!

So, I put on my bathrobe and slippers and make my way out to the well in subfreezing temperature. I rip my way thru the cocoon and into the wellhouse. Everything looks fine, except the well ain't working. Ratsafrackinbiggarattin.... I take the pressure switch apart and VIOLA! Fireants have invaded the electrical contacts.

For those unaware, fireants are attracted to electicity. There's a buisness opportunity there somewhere....

So soaking wet, I go to the main breaker on the powerpole and cut it off. I just love dealing with high voltage while wet... I clean the ants out of the switch and turn the power back on. I hear the water pump running and run my freezing ass back into the house to finish my shower.

Problem solved, right? Oh, HELL NO!

Seems the drop in pressure somehow made my water filter decide to stop up. I finished my shower, but under decidedly less than full pressure conditions. I hurried to work, but I was 20 minutes late.

To recap. Yesterday, I tore into the wellhouse, worked on it and resealed it. This morning I tore into the well house, worked on it and resealed it. Today, I could not find a new water filter in Bridgeport after work. So I have to get up early, go to the hardware store then tear my way into the wellhouse to work on it and reseal it again before I go to work tomorrow.

You know, I built a strong well house so I would'nt have to deal with shit like this...

Riding On The Doghouse

My Dad was a trucker. For as far back as I can remember he drove 18-wheelers. That is not a pic of Dad, but it's pretty close to the truck he drove. To say he was Old School is an understatement. Think of Cotton Hill, Hank's Dad on King of the Hill and you'd have a pretty accurate description of my father.

I used to ride with him when I was on vacation (to be honest about it, it was Mom's vacation!). The first trip I can remember taking was in the summer of 1967. I rode with Dad in a '67 WhiteFreightliner cabover. In a cabover the cab sits over the engine. Get it? The hump over the engine in the middle of the cab is called the doghouse. That doghouse became my perch while we crisscrossed the nation.

Actual pic of me on Doghouse.

Long before the days of CB radios I learned how truckers communicated with each other thru a system of hand signs and light flashes. We went from Texas to Maine then back to California. I stayed with my Aunt and Uncle near Bakersfield for a week then loaded back up with Dad and we made our way home to Texas. It was a HUGE adventure and probably is the reason I love travel so much today.

I had to sneak around with Dad because riders were strictly forbidden by the company. In New Jersey, Dad & I were busted at a company terminal while waiting for a load. I was hiding in the sleeper and a 1 hour stop turned into an all day affair. After a couple hours he made me get out of the truck because of the heat. The company officials threw a huge fit when they saw me and told Dad to put me on a bus home or he was fired.

Fortunately, Dad was friends with a couple of Greeks that owned a small truckstop. He dropped me off there and told the company he put me on a bus. I stayed there while he loaded then one of the Greeks drove me from New Jersey to Delaware where we met up with Dad after he was sure nobody followed him. I hid out in the sleeper while Dad drove non-stop all night to get us the hell out of there.

Speaking of driving all night, this was 1967. Little white pills and "West Coast Turnarounds" were cool socially acceptable. Back in the day it was expected for truckers to take speed to get the job done. They wrote songs about it. It was common practice and I saw it all firsthand.

This was long before the Interstate highway system was completed. The roads ran thru towns, not around them. Think "Radiator Springs" from the movie "Cars". I saw backyard America from sea to shining sea and fell in love with it, all while riding on the doghouse.

I also saw the flightline of an Air Force Base, Boston, New York City and The Statue of Liberty, Washington, D.C. , Daytona Beach, New Orleans, Houston, El Paso, Juarez, Tucson, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Bakersfield, San Diego, Tijuana and more. I swam in the Atlantic and the Pacific. I visited a foreign country (twice!), crossed the Mojave Desert, Continental Divide and Mississippi River.

A few months later I started First Grade.

31 Days Of Oscar

The bright spot of basic cable, Turner Classic Movies shines at it's brightest this month with their annual 31 Days of Oscar. Over 200 of the greatest films ever made all shown commercial free, uncut and in their original format. It is required viewing, period.

Every single one of these films earned an Academy Award. They are the best of the best. My only complaint is TCM is not in HD. Why they have yet to switch format, I don't understand.

This week look for It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World, Ben-Hur, The More The Merrier, A Song To Remember, Night and Day, Yankee Doodle Dandy, Lawrence of Arabia, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice, Forbidden Planet, Only Angels Have Wings, Flying Tigers, Strategic Air Command, Dr. Strangelove Or: How I Stopped Worrying and Love The Bomb... OK, ok, I got off on a flying tangent there but they are the best of the best and that's just a few of the films being shown this week! You have an entire month of Oscar winning movies to look forward to.

Just set your TV to TCM and throw away the remote. You'll be a better person for it.

I'm A Pilot!

Tom Cruise, eat your heart out...

A bit of humor from Royal New Zealand Air Force Flight Lieutenant Tim Costley. Their fighter program was disbanded in 2001. Altho there is an outside shot at a partial return to the skies.

More on Tim and how you can help him recover the $35 spent making the video.

The "Big Game" Sunday!

You may have noticed that all the commercials you hear for local establishments throwing a party refer to it as "the big game" or some other nondescript title. It's a freakin' Super Bowl party fer Christ's sake! But a couple of years ago the NFL decided that too many people were making a buck off their product and started enforcing a copyright on the name "Super Bowl". If anyone uses the name "Super Bowl" for their profit the league expects a hefty payment for leaching off their product.

Hey, what do you expect when they are paying guys Millions to run around for an hour?

Now the American public is not stupid... OK, we have our fair share of sheeple when important things are on the line like weapons of mass destruction, but when it comes to meaningless crap like the name of a football party you can't pull the wool over our eyes!

It's time for the uprising that this country has been percolating towards and this is the catalyst! Down with the man! No more PC "Big Game" parties! Say it loud and say it proud, "I'm having a Super Bowl party!"

Damn The Torpedoes, full speed ahead!!

(Damn The Torpedoes ⓒ 1979 Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers, all rights reserved)