The stars at night are big and bright...

The stars at night are big and bright...
The stars at night are big and bright...

Monday, September 29, 2008

Queer Ride For The Straight Guy

Oh what have I done to deserve this? Life post goat is hard. I've been in semi nonconstant contact with the insurance company of the trucker and finally got a rental from Enterprise.

Surprisingly their motto "We'll pick you up!" does not translate to we'll deliver you a car when you are stranded. They also played a cruel trick of changing location on me. The last time I rented from Enterprise they were at Karl Klement Ford. Since then they have relocated to James Wood GMC.

Nobody sent me the memo.

After an awkward exchange with the folks at Karl Klement's body shop I found the Enterprise office at James Wood GMC. I had my choice of (a) Chevy Aveo or (b) ChryslerPT Cruiser. It took me about .05 milliseconds to pick door number two and the PT Cruiser.

Let's just say it's not as bad as an Aveo and it gets decent gas milage. That's about where the praise ends from me. This car screams ghey. It's a great car for a chick or a young metrosexual on the prowl, but there's nothing remotely masculine or appealing about the PT Cruiser to me.

The dashboard and controls are laid out in a totally confusing manner with everything located on the turnsignal and wiper levers. The faux retro gearshift looks as cheap as it is. I'm afraid to touch most of the controls for fear of snaping them off. The onboard computer seems to have more control over the car than I do, constantly overriding switches for the lights, door locks and radio.

It's basicly a Dodge Neon running gear with a PT Cruiser body. It beats walking or trying to get my 6'2" body in and out of a subcompact. But, not by much. There is an ample amount of driver legroom. But getting my fat ass in and out of the low driver's seat is a pain.

We are buried at work and I'm working 6 days this week. Monday looks like the only day I have to go shopping for a new ride. I still need to hear from the insurance adjuster to know what I have to put down so, I can't finalize anything yet. Car dealers just love that.

To review... PT Cruiser, ghey.
Me, not.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ghey? I totally love the look of the PT Cruiser. It's not big enough for our family, else I would have definitely considered one.

TxM

Anonymous said...

Oh. I meant to add that I like the Charger quite a bit better.
TxM

RPM said...

I'm sure you do like it Mom. That's just my point.

It's a chick car.

The new Challenger is a guy car! Saw one in Weatherford for $30K. That car would kill me.