The stars at night are big and bright...

The stars at night are big and bright...
The stars at night are big and bright...

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

It's Dead, Jim!


Well the day started off bad with me going into work 5 hours earlier than I was scheduled. I always work 9 - 5 on Wednesday. Today they swapped me to the 2 - 10 shift. It went downhill from there.


I headed back to work at 1:30pm driving my "Old Goat", as I lovingly call my 2001 Dodge pickup. I was grooving to some tunes on the radio, minding my own business. I was driving well below the speed limit of 65 because I just crossed a set of train tracks and because the Goat sucks gas like there's no tomorrow when I see an 18 wheeler suddenly decide to turn in front of me. RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!!!!


It's odd when you're in an accident. Everything goes into slow motion, but it feels like real time. I was travelling about 50mph because I just crossed those rough train tracks on Hwy 101 in Chico. The first thought that ran thru my head was "what does that idiot think he's doing?". Before I could process that thought a new more urgent one arose, "I'm going to hit him!". I slammed on the brakes and heard an eerie howl as my big meaty Kelly/Springfields grabbed the pavement hard, desperately clawing at the asphault trying to bring me to a stop.


20 feet away...
I think I can stop in time. Those new brake pads I put on sure are doing a great job. Glad I decided to install them last month! Good thing I'm riding on those new Kelly's instead of the POS Goodyear's I had, too.

15 feet away...
Is there an option here? I can't go right because the truck is moving to my right. If I swerve that way I go off into the gravel and will hit the trailer with the driver's door. Let's not do that. I look left and all I see is the front of another Peterbilt. Let's not do that either.


10 feet away...
I'm slowing fast but but not nearly fast enough, I'm not going to stop in time... *&%#!!!! This is just what I needed. I look as the trailer continues to move to my right and the rear tandem of death rolls toward me.
C'mon Baby, DIG!!!


5 feet away...
The tandem looks like it will line up in front of me. Good! I don't feel like being crushed underneath a loaded rocktruck today, but this is still going to hurt. I get a death grip on the steering wheel at 10 and 2 then brace for collision.


3, 2, 1..... WHAM!!!!!


Just as suddenly as time slowed down, it sprang back to real time. The rocktruck keeps on going into the vacant lot and I'm stopped cold at the point of impact. I look in my mirror and see traffic screeching to a halt behind me. The front end is cratered but my engine is still running so I try to pull off the road. No way, Jose. My truck will move forward, but I can't turn the steering wheel. I reach down and turn off the key.


The Goat is Dead, Long Live The Goat!


Yep, my faithful companion has reached the end of the odometer. It now sits ungloriously in the storage lot at Chico Auto Parts awaiting an insurance adjuster. Luckily, I have my Suzuki Carry for emergency transportation. But it's definitely only for an emergency. I called the trucking company's insurance agent and left a message that I need a rental but it was after 5 before I had the opportunity. I'll call back in the morning.


See? This is what happens when you go messing with my schedule. If I had gone to work at my normal time I wouldn't have been on the road at 2pm and thus wouldn't have had a truck pull out in front of me, Jupiter wouldn't have aligned with Mars and I'd still have my Old Goat.


Oh, did I forget to mention the reason the truck pulled out in front of me so suddenly? A guy in a Key Energy pickup flipped him The Bird and he was going to chase him down and report him. So there you have it. I'm an innocent victim of road rage.


BTW, if any of you guys sell new pickups feel free to help a poorboy out. I'm suddenly in the market for a new 4door Ford or Dodge.

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