When Mutant Mosquitos Attack!

I hear they are really bad at the rock crushers.

Has anyone else noticed how big the freaking mosquitoes are this year? It's like some mutant strain has emerged from the Amazon jungle and they are bent on world domination. Talk about your freaking illegal aliens!

I killed one that I saw hovering near my arm and waited for the SciFi freak of nature to land before I struck down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. It looked like I had been shot in the back seat of a Nova. He already had a belly full of blood and the SOB landed to top off with a quart of The South 40's finest. I honestly had never seen one so huge. He's got plenty of bloodthirsty mutant freak comrades, too!

I was talking to a friend later that day that just happened to be a hot and recently single female, when outa nowhere one of the mutant skeeters swooped in and latched on to her cheek. She swatted at it 3 or 4 times before the bastard finally turned loose. I instinctively wanted to strike upon the demon for her own safety because she was having trouble, but that wouldn't have worked out well.

I'm not one to give rise to crazytalk or rash judgments, but... Let's just hope there's no sudden outbreak of malaria or some mutant form thereof . Chupacabra already has the "giant mutant scorpion plague" covered, but I think this mutant mosquito malaria (hereafter known as 3M) plague is a more viable apocalyptic threat and I can already see the signs. This may well be the start of Zombieland or The Walking Dead. I suggest hoarding food and ammo now. Oh, and lot's and lot's of this stuff.

Personally, I'm trying to track down some DDT. 

Meet you at Bill Murray's. (Or somewhere along the way if things go bad.)

UPDATED:No Trailer Trash In Our Town!

Un freaking believable.

UPDATE: This is a bit more info and a way to help from my friend Razer in Alabama via a forum I frequent...

Cordova is in Walker County, it doesn't get any more redneck than that down here. The ordinance was intended to keep the portable meth labs out of the city proper. They didn't take onto consideration the possibility of a natural disaster and the need for temporary housing. Mostly cuz they ain't that smart. The council could adopt a temporary measure and allow the trailers but they won't because the fear is some of them will become permanent.

My wife spent the day there helping those who can't help themselves clean up while I worked. She spoke with several people including the fire chief. Now you know the rest of the story.

Razer, Action News, reporting from Alabama...

Samaritans Purse is a great organization who has been here since day one. If you're of a mind to help but can't make the drive, they could use your financial support.

Thanks.

UPDATED: Lotsa Motorsports News!

Big day for race fans yesterday...

Kyle Bush got a speeding ticket. 128 in a 45. What's the fine for 83 mph over the limit (with an unidentified female in the car)? I think the ticket is going to be cheap compared to his newlywed bride's take on it.

He's already issued a full mea culpa:

 "Today I received a traffic citation in Iredell County. I was test driving a new sports car and I got carried away. I went beyond the speed I should have been going on a public road. I apologize to the public, my fans, sponsors, and race teams for my lack of judgment. I take responsibility for my actions and I can assure you that something like this will never happen again. I thank the Iredell County Sheriff's Department and all law enforcement for the hard work they do every day to protect the public and to enforce the laws in a fair and equitable manner." 


MAJOR EDIT: Turns out the "unidentified female" WAS his wife. In that case I have to throw kudos to KB. She has the right to enjoy the perks of being a World Class racer's wife and he wasn't stingy with the swag. 


I just wish he didn't drive for Toyota. Otherwise, I could be a huge KB fan.

Let the media beatdown begin!

Danica Patrick is going NASCAR full time. Starting next year she will shed her Indy Racing League firesuit and run the full NASCAR Nationwide Series schedule along with select Sprint Cup races. In 2013 she will run the full Sprint Cup schedule.  

Prepare for Danica overload. You think you've already seen Danica plastered all over everything? Bubba, you ain't seen nuthin' yet. Her sponsor/endorsement level will be 10 times what it is now. They are playingit coy with "where she will wind up" but she will be driving for Dale, Jr. He may not be much of a driver anymore, but Jr. has learned how to be one hell of a savvy media machine and he is behind Danica's every move. I think Jr. will become known more for being a team owner than a driver, much like Richard Childress. 

I also predict Danica will become the first woman to complete the Memorial Day 1100. The grueling back to back Indy 500 / Coca Cola 600 marathon. I doubt she will win either, but I wouldn't rule out a dual Top 10's. It's a huge milestone and is legitimately within her grasp.

UPDATED AGAIN!: Now Danica is denying the announcement saying she has no plans to leave IRL. Stay tuned race fans...

Bring it on down to Liquorville!

As usual Justin Timberlake rocked the house when he hosted the season finale of SNL. I would have never guessed I would become a Justin Timberlake fan and I can't name one of his songs to save my life, but the guy is loaded with talent and he's blog hit counter gold.

Along with reprising the "Bring it on down" sketch we were treated to other infamous bits like The Barry Gibb Talk Show and another music video with Andy Samberg. There were also several very funny original sketches including the gameshow "What's The Name?".

It may not have lived up to Betty White's season ender last year, but it was good stuff.

Now I can't help but wonder who will be back next season?

Hey Grandpa, What's For Supper?

I think I'd take Chow Baby's suggestion and try GoGo Gumbo instead.

I have got to make it down there one of these days, but their schedule and mine have a failure to communicate.

Gris-Gris a Go-Go | Fort Worth Weekly - News, Entertainment, Restaurants, Music

Breaking News: Booze in Alvoid!

ALVORD LIQUOR ELECTION
Yes	172
No	100

Hello Mr & Mrs America and all the ships at sea...

FLASH! (via WCMessenger.com)

Looks like you can get your drink on (actually off-premise only in this case) in Alvord (void) soon.

Rumor has it that the election was the reason behind the expansion on the soon eventually to be opened Market Place store. First predictions had it opening last November, Then reports had it opening in March. But there was another delay with a fire followed by a huge expansion and redesign.

Trust me, it's gonna open soon. Scuttlebutt says a substantial investment in new refrigeration equipment was just made for that store and Market Place is making a huge investment in Alvord being a long term venture.

Good things come to those who wait. This won't be The Pantry 2.0 . This store will be the centerpiece of Alvord.

Looks Like I'm Not Immune

The gaps are becoming longer and more frequent. My *GARA  level is dangerously low. These are not good signs. But I'm not pulling the plug just yet. There is no DNR on file for The South 40.

Like most of the other outspoken (I'm outspoken?) bloggers in our little blogosphere I've picked up a stalker/troll. This one happens to be from a different forum where I tend to rock the boat just to watch the waves (winning!), but he's threatened taking things to a whole nother level I really don't want to have to venture into. Something we saw not too long ago with another local blog. Honestly, I can't afford the time it would take to hunt him down and go all Jay & Silent Bob on his ass.

Aren't anklehumpers fun? 

What's an anklehumper? Pretty self-explanatory really. You remember when you were a kid and had to go to your Mom's Great Aunt's house and that annoying little dog she had that wanted to do nothing but hump your leg and snap at you? Well, it's pretty much the same thing, just the online version.

Boils down to how much info you are willing to let out on the intertubes, what the wackos on the other end decide to do with it and how you react. Are you talking to your closest anonymous friends or are you giving details to who the hell knows who, to do who the hell knows what with?

Either way, the thrill IS gone. Peace. Enjoy some good B.B. King.

*GARA- Give A Rat's Ass

Entr'acte

I don't know Aubrey Martin, but the answer is yes.

David Letterman - Top Ten Final Words of Osama bin Laden

Worth sitting thru the commercial.

Man Down! Man Down!

I was treated to a wonderful day at work Tuesday. I discovered my walk-in freezer was on the fritz. That's not a good. I had just ordered in a bunch of ice cream for the next ad and the clock was ticking. I couldn't use a hose to thaw it out (imagine lots of water damage to product) so I rigged up a blowdryer with some bailing wire and crossed my fingers.

I got it all cleaned out before I lost much product, but the ice cream wasn't a survivor. Neither was I unfortunately.

I had to stand on a ladder to reach the coils and there wasn't much room to move it around in the freezer. When I had to reposition my patent pending blowdryer/bailing wire contraption I switched to 1 foot on the ladder, 1 foot on a shelf. I already knew this was a bad idea in more ways than 1, but didn't have an option other than unloading the freezer and lose all the product. My main concern was the shelf collapsing and everything come tumbling down, so I tried to keep my weight on the ladder.

Let the games begin...

The shelf didn't collapse, but the ladder (now being pushed laterally by my weight) slid about a foot then tilted. I am now doing the splits suspended mid-air with no way out. Let's just say I don't take yoga classes, so after a few seconds I had to let go and come crashing down bouncing off racks and boxes along the way. Seems the only thing that got hurt was my right leg. I got a nasty bruise from the corner of a box that dug into my calf and hurts like hell. I take Plavix so even a little bump will leave a helluva bruise. This one looks like I was beaten with a baseball bat.

Medic!

Could have been worse. Why I didn't pull my groin is a miracle.

Let's Do The Time Warp!

h/t Denny Crane

You've got a good thing going here.

The new season of Breaking Bad is coming this July.

Prediction: Mrs.White gets whacked.

More Morgan Spurlock Greatness

The Next Discovery

Get ready for another new network from Discovery. Velocity is going to be the first network targeting the upscale men's market according to Discovery President David Zaslav. The network will feature cars, motorsports and adventure programming.

The Daly Planet reports former Speedvision founder Bob Scanlon will be at the helm. This is very interesting. Bob Scanlon was responsible for Inside Winston Cup Racing, the best weekly show about NASCAR in the history of ever. It was a quirkly little show shot live on tape from a not so soundproof studio near the dumpster in a Charlotte industrial park every Monday night on Speedvision that featured panelists Kenny Shrader, Johnny Benson, Michael Waltrip and host Allen Bestwick. It was a cool show that got swallowed up in the FOX buyout of Speedvision and is the benchmark for any NASCAR discussion program. There was very little script but it always ended on Bestwick's disclaimer "We'll be back next week, network executives permitting".

Here's hoping network executive Scanlon can put together more programs with the soul IWCR had. 

Discovery HD Theater will become Velocity later this year.

(edit) Nobody is jazzed about this? I'm envisioning a US version of Top Gear (subnote: A&E holds the US franchise for Top Gear) in a broader network format. While it won't carry the TG brand name, it certainly will embrace the spirit. SPEED suddenly has some serious competition.

Mean Green

I'm a fan of green power. It only makes sense to harness what you can for energy. You never know when the grid may go down in a disaster and cutting your power bill is always a good thing. The drawback has always been bang for the buck. That was especially true with solar. Efficient panels are expensive and to be honest, not that efficient.

That may be about to change.

Scientists at Lawrence Berkley National Laboratory have announced a breakthrough with a high efficiency solar cell that can work... in the dark! The new full spectrum solar cell can capture lower bandwidth light like the moon, stars and other energetic sources. Scientists at Ohio State have a second generation panel in the works that improves performance loss due to heat.

In the meantime you can just grab a few cans of  photovoltaic spray paint. That's right, turn the barn into a battery!

She's Got Steve Buscemi Eyes

This is oddly disturbing but I can't look away.

Oh.. My.. God!!

Bud Light is introducing new Etch It bottles. With these new bottles you can write your name or personal logo right on the bottle with a pen or use a coin to scratch your mark just like a lotto ticket. Now you can bust those beer thieves red (or in this case blue) handed.

I knew those NASA missions to the moon would pay off some day. What a giant leap for mankind!

(Coulda used some of those in can form last weekend.)

Be It Ever So Humble, There's No Place Like Home

I could have sworn I made a post yesterday but it somehow got deleted. Sorry 'bout that.

First the big news, we got a dang good rain the other night and skipped most of the bad weather. Did see a few minutes of pea size hail but nothing like they got south of here. I need a new rain gauge. My old one is busted into itty bitty pieces and has been for a while.

Hey it's good to be back home again.


It was a shortened weekend at TMS and that turned out to be a good thing. They got some major wind damage Sunday night. Normally we pull out of camp on Monday morning so we dodged a huge bullet. Around The Corner pointed out some major damage in our campground. Honestly, I had enough stuff go wrong without having my RV flipped over to boot.

With all the heightened security and drama over the ATV's, it really took a lot of the fun outa going to TMS. I expect it will only be worse next time. There were NO BANDS/NO DJS signs warning everyone about next time. That will be the proverbial nail in the fun coffin.

I don't want to sound all doom and gloom. There was plenty of partying going on in the campground and it turned out my Suzuki was at the epicenter. Who would have thought it would have been that big of a hit? I built it mostly as a joke, but it got a workout Saturday night.

I quickly learned I don't have a clue what young'uns like to dance to (apparently Ted Nugent and AC/DC aren't hip anymore) and relying on the radio is not the way to go. Fortunately, I have friends that do know what is booty shakin' and now I have a good hour long set of songs I've never heard of  loaded on my phone for next time.

Speaking of loaded on my phone, I did manage to find some blog friendly video that I can post. It's pretty dark, but it gets that way at  Midnight  3am.

All's Well That Ends Well

Turns out the horror stories I was told about ATV's were false. We had zero problems parking along the fence, but to be safe I took a different route. The racing was pretty dull. Matt Kenseth broke his losing streak and Jr. extended his to 100.

The after party more than made up for it. Let's just say you can find many videos of it in action on Facebook. I'm famous! Well, my Suzuki is. I'm sure I can edit up some blog friendly footage when I return to The Mothership in a few hours.

That's all from TMS Spring 2011.

I'm going to bed!

The Man Is Keeping Me Down

Well a new wrinkle has been added. We just heard from a reliable source that TMS isn't allowing ATV's on their property today. If you leave the camp you might not get back in.

What the heck is going on down here? They are trying very hard to take the fun out of coming here.

Wendell, I promised I'd come by this weekend, butthings are not looking good for that to happen.