The stars at night are big and bright...

The stars at night are big and bright...
The stars at night are big and bright...

Thursday, January 26, 2012

I Used To Hate This Song: UPDATED

A brief update. My accommodations weren't quite what I was expecting. They are right on the beach and very secluded. You want peace and quiet? This is the place. But there's no A/C, no TV or radio. I'm not going to break into a karaoke of Gilligan's Island, because to be honest they never said there was any. I just ass/u/me'd there was. And to be quite honest, the longer I'm here the more I appreciate it.

The cool Caribbean breeze keeps things comfortable enough and I made sure to bring my laptop and some DVD's for something to listen to going to sleep.  Hell, I wasn't expecting the Hilton, especially at these prices! This isn't just a bargain, it's the Deal of The Century. You couldn't ask for more congenial hosts, plus they obviously have great WiFi. It's also within staggering distance from several fun little bars so I give it 8 out of 10 9 out of 10. If you were on a Honeymoon, 10 out of 10 without a doubt. This would be THE place to stay. After all who needs TV on a Honeymoon, right?

If I wanted to stay at "The Hilton", I would have gone to Francis Ford Coppola's uber-exclusive resort down the road. It's literally a couple of minutes away! But, I'm not sure my credit rating would pass their muster and who really wants Charlie Sheen and his Tiger Blood entourage staying next door?

Plus, I always thought Coppola was over rated as a Director and definitely as a winemaker.

Sorry, Francis.

The only semi-complaint I have is the car rental situation (which is completely separate from where I'm staying). I'm paying $85 a day for a ragged out Isuzu Rodeo that has the Check Engine light flashing like it's a refugee from Studio 54 (Pay no attention to that!), a busted radio and on again / off again power windows. Just beat on the door long enough and it will eventually work. (No illegal immigrant worker jokes, please)

I took the Ghettomobile (honestly, that's what the rental place called it) and headed south to the Lubaantun ruins. After driving 2 hours I got there right as they closed. It wasn't a completely wasted trip, tho. I got to see a couple small villages smack dab in the middle of BFE. The dirt road was barely passable in dry conditions. All I could think of was "I really don't need a hole in my oil pan right about now" while "It's a Long Way To The Top If Ya Want To Rock and Roll" was on terminal repeat in my head. Funny what songs will get stuck in your head when the radio doesn't work... I can't imagine how they get thru in the rainy season. I wasn't even sure if I was heading down the right dirt road until I started meeting delivery trucks and school buses coming back from the villages. That is one driving job I do not want.

I'm just ass/u/me-ing they were delivery trucks for the village. The Guatemalan border wasn't far and both you and I know that cocaine isn't going to cross the border by itself!

And the next time I hear somebody bitch about how bad things are in Wise County, I'm whipping out those village pics. Hard times? You ain't got a clue, Brutha! It's been a long time since I've seen a "Town Pump" and I ain't talking about Mary Jane Rottencrotch. No wonder they want to sneak into the US illegally.

Unless you are an Ex-pat or living in a tourist area, this place is pure hell. I'm sure there's worse living conditions on this planet, but I haven't seen them. It really touched me.

Tomorrow I'm getting an early start and heading for the larger ruins up North. Hopefully, I'll see where Jaguar Paw narrowly escaped death thanks to an eclipse... I may just  run a zig-zag pattern from the ruins back to the Ghettomobile in his honor.

If I see this kid anywhere along the way I'm on the next F'n flight outa here!

No comments: