A 12 Year Old Girl Kicked My Ass

First off in my defense, let me just say nobody has ever nor is going to mistake me for anything remotely resembling an athlete, unless 12oz Curls is a sport. We straight on that? Moving on...

I ate dinner at Sis & Bro-Inlaw's last night and it was awesome. The marinated boneless skinless chicken breasts from Mas Meats were fantabulous and they were HUGE to boot. I highly recommend!

After supper my niece reminded me I promised her a game of basketball "next time" the last time she asked me to play. No amount of doubletalk was going to get me out of this, she's a sharp cookie and I'm too soft a touch.

It's been a good 20 years since I've even touched a basketball. But I'm 6'2" and she's 4' nothing. When I tried to explain to her it would be like Spud Webb going against Lew Alcindor, all I got was a blank stare. We played a little half court before she finally understood what I was talking about even if she didn't know who I was talking about, so we switched to playing Horse.

I should have kept my mouth shut because she was deadly. To say I got smoked would be understating just how badly I got throttled. My only saving grace was she didn't try to hustle me out of any loose cash I might have had on me. If she had I'd be selling my hair to a wig shop.

On the upside, I did get to educate her on who Lew Alcindor was (she was really confused when I told her it was Kareem and then had to explain who Kareem was) and teach her how to shoot a Skyhook. She wasn't half bad at it either. Her first shot was a perfect arc, but just inches short of a swish and bounced off the rim. A little range adjustment and some coaching and she started to get it. I have a feeling she might unleash that weapon upon some unsuspecting opponent that's never heard of Lew Alcindor or Roger Murdoch. Oh, and it called "the top of the key", not "where the bird poop is"....

Old age and treachery... Next game, I'm going to educate her on Larry Bird unless she kills me before I can get around to it. The "Why is your face funny colors?" was a dead giveaway, no pun intended.