The stars at night are big and bright...

The stars at night are big and bright...
The stars at night are big and bright...

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Book 'em Danno!

If you are a frequent reader then you know I hate thieves with a passion. I'll do whatever it takes to bring them to justice. If you're going to steal from me, you had better be damn good at it because I won't quit digging around until I catch you.

Such was "The Case Of The Reddy Whip Huffer". Ever since Diamond closed we inherited their customers. Unfortunately, we also inherited their thieves as well. Luckily, they are dumb thieves. I have been finding used Reddy Whip cans scattered around the store. Someone has been sucking the gas out of them for a cheap high.

Ya know, if you want to risk death sucking on a can of whip cream then by all means, go for it. Darwin wins. But pay for the stuff before you huff!

We have been watching closely for empty cans hidden on the isles and yesterday we knew within an hour of when it happened. It was just a matter of watching the surveillance video and finding out who it was. I had a couple of suspects, but it turns out they were completely innocent. It was a guy in his 30's doing it. Not some high school kid looking for a rebellious buzz. This guy was a grown man with a job and responsabilities and here he is sucking whip cream cans at the grocery store. God knows what else this guy has going on in his life.

Ted Danson says: You're a LOSER!

I took some snapshots of the video with my phone and showed them around to the employees with instructions not to approach him, but to notify the manager on duty and let us handle it.
I made sure the manager that relieved me got a good look as well.

I hadn't even made it home when my phone rang. It was the manager that relieved me letting me know they had just busted "The Huffer". He walked in right after I walked out. The cops were called and he was caught red(dy) handed.

I wonder if they serve Reddy Whip in jail? And that's got to be a beat down to explain to the other guys...
Hardened tattoo covered inmate #1: So, what are you in for Fish?
Fish: Sucking Reddy Whip at the IGA.
Hardened tattoo covered inmate #1: Oh really?


The Accomplice said...

What a moron.... I bet he's stupid enough to come back too.

Ryan said...

How long have you worked down there?

RPM said...

I've worked for the company 3 years. I get moved around to different stores if I'm needed but I try to stay in Bridgeport. We have a good team working there and I like the people.

It's my hometown.