It sits there silently mocking me. Calling my name like some wicked temptress in the night. My secret addiction since I was a small boy. I could drink a gallon a day and still thirst for more.
Did I mention I love Egg Nog? I like it straight from the jug. I like it from a punchbowl. I like it from an old jelly jar. I like it from a crystal Bullwinkle holiday mug.
I know how a heroin or crack addict must feel when they're jonesing. There is sits, fresh and cold right in front of me... and I can't touch a drop of it. Because while it looks so innocent and wholesome it's actually the devil incarnate. Yes, Elsie's magical dairy product is in reality a do it yourself clogged artery kit.
After my angioplasty (that's where they run a wire from your groin up to your heart and do remote control repair work while you watch completely awake on 3 monitors) I was forced to switch to a healthy diet or die. It's a totally free choice. I mean I could continue to enjoy the finer things in life like butter, pizza, chicken fried steak and egg nog and die in a few months. Or I could wise up & cut fatty, cholesterol laden foods from my diet and live another 20 years.
I chose what was behind Door #2.
But DAMN, I miss me some egg nog.