Colbert knocks one out of the park.

h/t bagof nothing

Hello, Remember me?

I have been busy, busy, busy! New job, farming, car problems. There's never a dull moment on the South 40.

First off, as previously reported I started a new job at Deloitte University working out of their Security Command Center. I have to patrol the whole property and my fat ass is not in shape for that. But I'm working on it.

During one of my training patrols I told the guy I was working with that my calves were killing me and I might have to take a break for a second. This guy was from Scotland (not that it has any bearing on this story) and he wrote a report that I told him I was taking a break during the middle of a patrol. He said I went into Starbucks (we have one on site) and sat down to drink a cup of coffee. That absolutely DID NOT HAPPEN. I stayed with him step for step all the way back to the Security Command. Not sure what his agenda was but that report got me called into the main office in Dallas where I was completely confused as to WTF was going on. I told my supervisor to check the video (which I assume they did) and I was exonerated. Scottish guy was fired for unrelated reasons. I think he had issues...

You may recall about a year ago I had to part ways with my beloved 2010 Mercedes Benz C300 and replace it with an '07 Cadillac CTS. The CTS isn't a bad car. In fact it's one of the very few GM vehicles I would consider buying. And I did.

2 Weeks ago I started having problems with the radio and alarm chimes. Sometimes they would work, sometimes they wouldn't. I would have to turn the key on and off several times until I got lucky and they'd come on. Eventually they quit working altogether.

I looked on the Cadillac forums and found very few entries with this problem. The ones I did find said if the chimes weren't working it was a bad amp. I took my test light and checked the inputs to the amp and they all looked like they were working but could get nothing from the outputs. I was 99% convinced I 'd isolated the issue but went ahead and called my friend who is an ASE Master Mechanic for a local GM dealership. He brought his diagnostic tools over and found there was an issue with one module communicating with another. He seemed to think the problem was with my head unit (radio) or with the wiring harness. The wiring harness would be the worst case scenario and require running caveman wiring. I called CarToys and was quoted it would start at $900 and up to rewire. A couple other places wouldn't even touch it. Vunderbar...

I crossed my fingers and went on eBay searching for a used GM amp. I managed to find one for $9.99 + shipping. $25 and 4 days later it showed up. I plugged it in and VIOLA! Everything is working again.

So for future reference to all you GM owners, if your radio quits working and so do your door chimes... replace the amplifier. The chimes and radio are two different systems and the amplifier is the common point.

I think that pretty much gets us caught up except for one last thing.

I have to drive past the new Buc'ees on the way to work and have been taking advantage of the cheap gas there. It's usually 20-30¢ cheaper than it is near home. I have heard many rave reviews about the food they serve there and sampled many of their offerings. Verdict? Don't waste your time or money. It's all hype. 

I bought a pastrami sandwich that tasted like it was soaked in Bread & Butter pickle juice. It was sticky sweet. WTF? If anything pastrami should be slightly salty, not sweet. I tried a sliced brisket sandwich that tasted like it was made from old cardboard. The polish sausage roll wasn't bad. But there was much more roll than sausage. I haven't tried their sweet rolls because I'm trying to lose some weight, but they smell like they would be decent.

And there you have it. I'll try to post more often as I become more accustomed to my work schedule.

Screw the conspiracy theorists. I watched it live.

Looks like that wasn't the first time Melania Trump "borrowed" somebody else's work.

Well that's awkward

CORRECTION: Melania stole a whole graph from Michelle's speech. #GOPConvention
WATCH: https://t.co/8BCOwXAHSy pic.twitter.com/zudpDznGng

— Jarrett Hill (@JarrettHill) July 19, 2016

Netflix Nosedive

I hope Netflix isn't in your stock portfolio. After missing a subscriber goal the stock has taken a beating in afterhours trading.

Hello? Is this thing on?

I've become very slack about posting lately. My bad. But to be completely fair, I been kinda busy. Took the job with Deloitte and really like it there. What an impressive facility! Even better, everyone that works there is incredibly nice. (Here's hoping their social media scanners catch this.) There actually is such a thing as a free lunch!

I just hope I can get my legs back in shape quick. My job entails a lot of long, fast walks. I have to be able to get from one end to the other in a hurry and it's a quarter mile long. My calves are screaming at the end of most of them. (Fat man problems)

In complete honesty, it's been great so far. The downside of it is, as expected, the commute. And now my CTS decides to start giving me problems. The interior alarms and radio have decided to stop working. I looked through the Cadillac forums and the consensus was a problem with the audio amp located behind an access panel in the trunk. I opened the panel but didn't see any obvious problems. I couldn't get the cables to unplug so I could test the connection, but none were loose either. In the meantime, I'm streaming The Little Ticket to my phone. (1st World problems)

Looks like I need to call my GM expert friend and get his opinion/beg for help with the CTS. BTW, he finally got his health issues under control. They damn near killed him before he found a Doctor that healed him. I hope I never get kidney stones. Note to the wise: a)Never go to a small town hospital. This includes emphatically includes Decatur. b)Avoid West Texas hospitals if possible. c)Go to the Doctor/Hospital in D/FW. That's where you'll find the best and brightest. (Rural Texas problems)

In other pain in my ass events... My DirecTv Genie is on the fritz. The picture and sound cut in and out non-stop. It's completely unwatchable. I called DirecTv and Brother... things have changed since they were bought by AT&T. They AT&T'd the shit out of it. Gone was the friendly person on the other end and on was "Sally" from Manila who learned ESL last month.

Now I'm not really mad at "Sally". Bless her heart she's really trying to communicate with me about a satellite receiver she's never seen and is doing it in a foreign language. Could you see me doing phone support in Spanish to people in Honduras about banana packing machines? Pretty much the same thing. (Everybody's problems)

After finally getting my problem bumped up a few levels I finally convinced them I knew what I was talking about and the box was bad. I managed to convince them to send me a new receiver and let me swap it out myself like I did the last time my Genie died. In the meantime I can only watch satellite in the shop or in bed. (The horror)

Let me leave you with 2 things. First... Gas at Buc-ee's next to Texas Motor Speedway was $1.69. Taking the pain out of commuting.
Second... Pokeman Go. No good can come from this.