The stars at night are big and bright...

The stars at night are big and bright...
The stars at night are big and bright...

Monday, May 30, 2011

When Mutant Mosquitos Attack!

I hear they are really bad at the rock crushers.

Has anyone else noticed how big the freaking mosquitoes are this year? It's like some mutant strain has emerged from the Amazon jungle and they are bent on world domination. Talk about your freaking illegal aliens!

I killed one that I saw hovering near my arm and waited for the SciFi freak of nature to land before I struck down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. It looked like I had been shot in the back seat of a Nova. He already had a belly full of blood and the SOB landed to top off with a quart of The South 40's finest. I honestly had never seen one so huge. He's got plenty of bloodthirsty mutant freak comrades, too!

I was talking to a friend later that day that just happened to be a hot and recently single female, when outa nowhere one of the mutant skeeters swooped in and latched on to her cheek. She swatted at it 3 or 4 times before the bastard finally turned loose. I instinctively wanted to strike upon the demon for her own safety because she was having trouble, but that wouldn't have worked out well.

I'm not one to give rise to crazytalk or rash judgments, but... Let's just hope there's no sudden outbreak of malaria or some mutant form thereof . Chupacabra already has the "giant mutant scorpion plague" covered, but I think this mutant mosquito malaria (hereafter known as 3M) plague is a more viable apocalyptic threat and I can already see the signs. This may well be the start of Zombieland or The Walking Dead. I suggest hoarding food and ammo now. Oh, and lot's and lot's of this stuff.
Personally, I'm trying to track down some DDT. 
Meet you at Bill Murray's. (Or somewhere along the way if things go bad.)

3 comments:

Kathleen... said...

"Illegal aliens" = lol!!!!!!

I recently read somewhere (conservative, no doubt) that the ban on DDT is responsible for some current health issues. Can't "hurt" the earth by using the toxins on the mosquitos, but the disease they can spread is hurting humans!

PC crap just kicks my *ss!

And I'm glad to see that you're still blogging. =)

an Donalbane said...

Reminds me of the story of the lineboy at a Manitoba or Saskatchewan lakeport - seems the 'skeeters up there get so big that he accidentally loaded 30 gallons of 100LL on one before realizing it wasn't a floatplane!

el chupacabra said...

They are monstrous this year. I got eaten alive the other day tromping around on the trails near the lake. They assauted me through my JEANS.
I look like a leper.