I Cheat Death Once Again

Being born with Ninja skills has it's advantages from time to time. When I got home from work last night it was my usual routine. Hit the computer room, turn on the TV, kick back with a drink and unwind.

I was paying close attention to whatever was on TV, altho now I could'nt tell you what it was. It just does'nt seem that important now that I narrowly escaped death. But, I digress. So I'm zoning out to the TV calm, relaxed and shed of the pressures of work. When out of the corner of my eye I spot something moving.

I turn my head to focus and upon closer inspection I have a large big gigantic spider crawling up my left shoulder! I kid you not, this thing was HUGE! At least 2 inches across. Out of Ninja reflex I swatted it off with a lightning stroke of my bare hand and it hit the wall with a solid "thwap". It hit the floor and took off running, but it was a futile escape attempt. The cold, cruel size 12 of fate came crushing down. It was definitely dead of death, but I was still freaked out like a kid that spent the night at Neverland after the Jesus Juice wore off.

I immediately went to Defcon 1 and authorized a full scale chemical attack by Homeland Security. I sprayed the entire house inside and out with enough Ortho Max to kill Peter Parker on his best day. I don't know if it was the adrenaline from the initial freakout, arachnophobia or the contact high from the Ortho talking, but I was constantly feeling something crawling on me for the rest of the night.

The colors did seem more vibrant watching Adult Swim. Pretty sure that was the Ortho.