No means NO!

After former Longhorns QB Colt McCoy's big victory over Dallas everybody wanted an interview. Apparently ESPN Desportes, who exclusively broadcast the game in Spanish, don't get one.

Actually, it turns out no means 30 minutes later.

Aggy gonna aggy

I know Aggy are Godless heathens. But stop texting and put your freaking phone away during the National Anthem!

So. Much. Win.

Adult Swim scores again with their newest series Mike Tyson Mysteries. Instant cult classic.



Gold, Jerry. GOLD!

Remember, There's absolutely nothing to fear from Fukushima

Meanwhile, Dan Halen Industries has announced the grand opening of Squidbillies, a new chain of calamari fast food joints across Southern Georgia.

The Big Lebowski in 134* seconds

*Fucking

Nick Rose: International Man of Mystery

Besides the game winner, Nick nailed a 45yarder in the 3rd to break the tie 

and get a rather large monkey off his back.

SEC Movie of The Week: Swagcopter Down

The SEC Movie of The Week is brought to you by Burleson's pure wholesome Aggy Tears. 

"Those tender drips are sweeter than honey!"

Now our Feature Presentation

After watching Texas/OU and TCU/Baylor

Trevone Unchained

 Previously, on Saturday afternoon...

Trevone!

h/t:OU Sucks @ Shaggybevo

From the Absolutely 100% Can't Make This Stuff Up True Dept

Shocked medical staff in a clinic in the central Colombian town of Honda have discovered a potato growing inside a patient’s vagina, local media reported on Wednesday.

The bizarre phenomenon was discovered when doctors attended a 22-year-old woman complaining of abdominal pains this week.

The embarrassed young woman explained that she had been advised by her mother to insert a potato into her vagina as a means of avoiding unwanted pregnancy.

“My mom told me that if I didn’t want to get pregnant, I should put a potato up there, and I believed her.” the unnamed patient was quoted as saying by local news website HSB Noticias.

After leaving the potato in place for around 2 weeks she began to experience intense pain in her lower abdomen. The potato had germinated, and grown roots inside the lady’s private parts.

When the nurse went to examine the patient, she originally thought she had been the target of a practical joke, as she found roots emerging from the young woman´s vagina.

The offending root vegetable was removed without need for surgery, and there should be no lasting physical effects on the young woman.

Carolina Rojas, the attending nurse, pointed the finger of blame at the woman´s mother for giving her daughter such bad advice in terms of contraception methods available.

Link

I can't make that stuff up. However I can make this stuff up. Alternate titles that were not used and are totally non judgemental or offensive:

Birth Control by Whore-Ida.

Fertile Myrtle

The Dictater

If it fails do we get tater tots?

One potato, two potato, three potato, whore...

Mr Potato Head's Great Adventure

Scattered, Smothered and Covered

and finally... You want fries with that?

Chicago Fire

Apparently some nut job contract employee (A) attempted to commit suicide and, in the process, (B) tried to burn down the Chicago FAA control center. Failed on A, success on B. You see the results above.

Appropriate images that I decided not to use:

This one is actually my favorite but I figured it was too obscure even for the finely honed mind of you, the faithful South 40 reader. It's the original logo for the (wait for it) Chicago Fire football team of the World Football League. It's my favorite because it incorporates the Dickerrod in the design.

 Dickerrod? I don't even know her!

It was so bad (picture of a helmet on a helmet) the team abandoned the logo and just went with the flames.

Funnies from Tech v OSU

Tech's horribad special uni's for the game:

And Coach Bro's reaction to them

New Caddy

I actually saw this car being tested back in early May. Turns out it was the new Cadillac LTS. At the time I wondered if it was some sort of prototype or a new body bra system people in Colorado used to protect their paint. Both made sense to me. But it was heading in the opposite direction on Hwy 6 and I was more interested in catching rainbow trout. As I recall on that day I would have been more successful trying to catch the new Caddy.

Read more about it (the car, not my failed fishing trip) over at Jalopnik.

Fast Times in Wichita Falls

From KFDX

A fired employee of the Jack in the Box on Lawrence Road is accused of going on a rampage and destroying thousands of dollars of equipment and food inside the business after being told he was losing his job.

Keitrael Collins, 22, is charged with criminal mischief over $1,500 dollars. His bond was set at $7,500 dollars and he is no longer in Wichita County Jail.

According to the affidavit, police were called to the restaurant about a fight. When he arrived, the officer says he found Collins in front of the manager's door that was locked and broken equipment and food all over the floor. The manager said he locked himself in and called police because Keitrael was trying to assault him. He told the officer Collins had thrown a toaster valued at $2,000 and register valued at $3,000 and food on the floor.

The officer says Collins told him he began throwing the items after being told he was fired.

Rumor is it had something to do with a breakfast refund.

Why I've stayed single

Seriously Ladies, you need to get a grip.

Latest NFL Meme

Finish him!

Well played, but kinda hard to envision Cleveland as Cobra Kai.

Meanwhile, up in the owner & GM's suite

h/t The Unticket

So, where do terrorists gas up?

Jihad-ee's

We're under attack!

You hear about hacking and internet attacks, but have you ever watched it in real time? You can at NORSE IPViking. This is fascinating stuff to watch. All I can say is I hope they put a solid firewall around Cheyenne Mountain.

I'm definitely changing my passwords.