Keep Manhattan, Just Give Me That Countryside

Got Dirt?

Been playing Green Acres around The South 40 this week. Brother In-law brought his big ass tractors over and it didn't take long to plow 40 acres. It was also pretty nice doing it in an air conditioned cab listening to the stereo. First time I've ever done that. I'm used to sitting in the open listening to the exhaust and choking on the dust. You know... farming.

It's the only way to fly!

Now I get to go remove the rocks that came up before we run the planter. It tends to not like large hard objects in it's path.

To quote a line by Karl Maldren from How The West Was Won "I have the finest crop of rocks in Stone County". I pulled several tons of rocks out of the field last fall. I'm not exaggerating either. I've got 4 huge piles and every rock in them was hand picked. Now it looks like I might have another ton or so in the field again. Hoo-ray!

What I need to do is figure out a way to pull a Tom Sawyer scam on some city folk and get them to pay me for doing it for me. The South 40 All Natural Full Body Workout! Only $20 for a limited time!! (The effectiveness of this hasn't been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration and any claims of results or lack thererof may be in dispute)

That may sound ludicrous to you, but there is a guy baling Dove Weed and selling it for $10 a bale in the Metroplex as dove attractant. I kid you not. 

P.T. Barnum was right.

Seth MacFarlane Kills

The season premier of SNL lived up to, and possibly exceeded the hype with rookie host Seth MacFarlane. The opening skit was funny with Jay Pharoh taking over the role of Obama. He hasn't quite nailed it yet, but he has the mannerisms down. I look for much improvement from the talented impersonator.

MacFarlane nailed his monologue. He was born to do SNL:


He was also extremely funny as laid back Olympic Gold Medalist Ryan Lochte on Weekend Update:


And he was in a very funny skit about Korean pop star and internet meme Psy (who made a cameo). The bit also featured one of my favorite SNL players, Bobby Moynihan. He's got that Chris Farley/John Belushi vibe.


Credit for the episode's funniest skit goes to Bill Hader and his PTSD puppeteer.


Let's hope this is the first in a long string of hosting gigs for Seth MacFarlane on SNL. It wasn't all gold, but it was worth the 90 minutes.

On The Radar: Seven Psychopaths

I like it... It's got layers.

Chock full o' cowbell!

How do you spell awesome? T-W-E-R-P!

My 50th Anniversary Icky Twerp shirt arrived in the mail today. 

Greatness!

You can get yours here.

It's a shame Bill Camfield doesn't get more credit for his work at KFJZ/KTVT. He was more popular, but much less politically correct than Jerry Haynes' Mr. Peppermint at WFAA. Camfield's comedy was more slapstick and aimed at a broader audience than you would expect from a local kid's show. 

Slam Bang Theater even featured a very contriversial  guest appearance by a famous Ft.Worth
stripper and got away with it on a "children's" program. The guy had balls. His comedy and fame crossed several boundaries without becoming offensive yet staying entertaining. 

It's too easy to try to compare Ickey Twerp with Krusty The Clown (the Simpson's version of Bozo). The big difference is Icky Twerp wasn't a franchised copy of a character. Icky Twerp/Bill Camfield was all original top to bottom.

He was a true pioneer of television.

New Kids On The Block

 Aidy Bryant, Tim Robinson, and Cecily Strong

Meet the newest SNL cast members. They will be replacing Kristen Wiig, Andy Samberg, and Abby Elliott who all left at the end of last season.Those are some pretty big shoes to fill, but Aidy Bryant, Tim Robinson, and Cecily Strong all have strong comedic pedigrees from Chicago's Second City Theater.

Learn more bout them here.

I Love a Parade Pt:2

I heard they had a great turnout for the WCSP Rodeo this weekend. Unfortunately, we've had no entries in the Parade Photo Contest, so I'm going to call that a bust. Shame on you guys, ya'll missed a good parade.

Things changed on the fly, as they usually do in these kind of events. The stage was not where it usually was and was facing the wrong way. I was asked to bring music and then they switched to live music which became unstable when I tried to announce the parade over the top of the singer facing the other direction. I had a good 12 minute mix of western swing instrumentals on my phone that would have been perfect.

There weren't any school bands participating (and I still don't understand why) but Primo's had their own band which was pretty cool. I heard they won an award for their performance. Too bad nobody took any pictures...

Don't worry I saw Joe Duty scurrying around doing his thing, so I'm sure there will be some in The Mess.

Even with the Chisholm Trail Days events going on, the turnout was pretty sparse compared to when I was a kid. What's happened? Bands don't participate, people don't show up, a chunk of our heritage fades away. I've seen crowds show up in Jackistan for their parades and they line the streets. Everybody shows up. Why are things so different here?

Is a parade too lame for us Wise County urbanites? I hope not.

I Love a Parade!

Looks like it's time to dust off the old microphone. For better or worse, I'll be the Master of Ceremonies once again for the 58th Annual Wise County Sheriff's Posse Rodeo Parade this Saturday in Decatur. I haven't seen the final line up yet, but I can guarantee you it will be fun for the whole family. I'm hoping to see some local High School bands involved. For some reason they haven't been participating in the parade for several years. As a proud former member of The World's Largest Non-Nuclear Coast Guard Marching Band, I question the absence of  local bands at a gig that just begs for a marching band. Consider it a warm-up for Homecoming, whatever... it's what marching bands do! The forecast is calling for a high in the mid-80's, so the weather will be perfect! There's no excuse for not participating.

This will be my 5th time emceeing the parade. That puts me in the exclusive Five-Timers Club with Candice Bergen and Bill Murray. OK, so they were hosting SNL, but this is also a live event and they didn't have to work with horses and fire trucks so I'm crashing their party. They're free to file a protest if they don't agree with my ruling.

Amazing how downtown Decatur resembles downtown Ft. Worth in those pictures, ain't it? Actually those are from the WCSP at the 2012 Stock Show Parade. I don't have time to play Joe Duty when I'm announcing so this is the best I could do. (Note: They had LOTS of marching bands there!) Better yet, come on down to The Square this Saturday and take your own! Maybe we could scrounge up a photo contest with some sort of prize. Who knows? Just ignore the fat man on the stage. He is not the droid you're looking for. You have your assignment. Good luck, Mr. Phelps.

Don't about forget the all Chisholm Trail Days Western Heritage Festival events that will be happening downtown on Saturday and the dance following the Rodeo on Friday night. It's a weekend full of good music and fun stuff to do. How often can you say that in Decatur?

Cowboy up.

On The Radar: Silver Linings Playbook

This film has a lot going for it. And by a lot, I mean Jennifer Lawrence behaving inappropriately. Most of it is not on camera (damn it!) but recalled in conversation with Bradley Cooper. Oh yeah, he's in the film, too along with some De Niro guy...

Adapted from the novel by Matthew Quick this film is about a man recently released from a mental institution that moves back in with Mom & Dad then meets an equally unstable younger woman. Silver Linings Playbook looks quirky enough to be entertaining even if Jennifer wasn't in it.

It's also the first of two films starring Cooper and Lawrence. They team up again in Serena, due out next year.

On The Radar: COPPER

This BBC America original series is good, very good. It will suck you in like a black hole with it's greatness. It rivals anything HBO has had to offer since Deadwood and AMC will have some serious competition come Emmy time.

Definitely DVR worthy.

16 Points in 38 seconds

The Vols went on to win 35 - 21 in the Georgia Dome.

More F-350 Goodies

After spending the better part of 5 minutes trying to hook up to my gooseneck a few days ago I decided it was time for an upgrade in the seeing what the hell is going on department. My radio already is set up for a rearview camera, all I needed was the camera.  It was surprisingly cheaper than I was expecting. I found one on Amazon for under $15. SCORE!

Since I saved about $50 from what I was expecting to spend, I decided to use that for a new XM Xpress receiver. I hate to admit it but I've become kind of spoiled with the Sirius radio in my car. It's nice to be travelling and not constantly searching for or trying to milk the last bit of signal out of a good station. I wish they had this back when I was trucking. But then I would have never heard the guy that barricaded himself inside a Wyoming radio station. That was entertaining, unfortunately I lost the signal before I found out how it ended. Small market radio, gotta love it.

Mounting the camera was a piece of cake. 2 screws in the toolbox, string the wire alongside my CB coax and plug into the radio. Done.

Somebody needs a spray-in bedliner...

The XM was a bit more complex. I decided right on top of my Scangauge was the perfect spot. Didn't block my view and I could route the wires alongside my GPS coax. Getting it mounted on top of the Scangauge was going to be tricky. I couldn't use the mounting screws without destroying the Scangauge. Velco or 2-sided tape was an option, but both have a tendency to come loose in high temps leaving a sticky mess behind and Lord knows a black truck in the Texas sun never gets hot.

That's when I remembered I had a tube of 3M Weatherstrip/Gasket Adhesive and it just happened to be black. That stuff is better than Super Glue and a little dab will do ya. 5 minutes later, TA-DA! I even managed to get it centered and the edges aligned. Good thing because it ain't moving from there.

Not bad for a one eyed fat man...

Now if it takes me 5 minutes to hook up to my trailer, it won't be because I can't see what the hell is going on.

Big Wheels Rollin', Movin On...

I can't think of where to start this. Was it the first time I traveled coast to coast in a truck? The first time I drove a truck professionally? The first time I drove my own truck?

There's a lot of ground (literally) in between those events.

Guess I'll start at where I can remember... Sherman, set the WABAC machine to 1966!

My first cross country trucking experience was bouncing on top of the doghouse of a White Freightliner with a 318 Detroit. Dad drove for Walter Hales and his trucks were leased to Leonard Brothers. They hauled a lot of military freight. I got on the truck with Dad in Bridgeport and the load was going to an AFB in Maine. We got there, smuggled me on base (this was way before 9/11) and unloaded then went to New York and loaded a crane gear going to California. I distinctly remember a massive traffic jam going thru New York City. I had never seen that many cars (or people) in my life.

We had to gateway (drive thru) Florida which made the trip much longer and this was before the days of Interstates. There was more interstate "under construction" than constructed. You still drove the old US highway system thru towns. Most roads ran right thru the middle of town and you actually saw what each city was about instead of 2 exits and a chain truckstop. Think "Cars and Radiator Springs".

This was also long before CB's. A system of hand signals and light flashes was used back then. Not to be confused with a system of hand signals and light flashes used in a rest area or truck stop today. Two completely different things. Trucks weren't as lavish inside as they are now. It was all business. Mostly metal and glass with no built in refrigerator, walk-in sleeper or television. You were lucky if there was an aftermarket air conditioner on the truck. Even luckier if it worked.

 It was also several years before Will & Sonny and their fancy big rig.

I still remember playing in the surf on the beach in Southern California. This was 1966 and I wasn't even in school yet. My Dad may have been a lot of things, but in this case he was a very cool and it obviously stuck with me. Not many people get to travel coast to coast, play in the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans in the same week or experience the trip the way I did on the road before they go to 1st Grade.

Now if you want to hear about the time I was dumped off with a stranger at a New Jersey truckstop and smuggled 100 miles away into Delaware after a company driver snitched on Dad... that's another post.

No wonder I still get "itchy feet" to go back on the road.

I'm Shocked! Shocked I Say!

A three-judge federal court Tuesday found the Republican-controlled Texas Legislature guilty of discriminating against Latinos and blacks in the drawing of new election districts and threw out its redistricting plans for both the U.S. House of Representatives and the state Legislature.


Citing the Voting Rights Act, the judges said the state’s new election districts deliberately undercut the voting power of the growing Latino population. And while the GOP Legislature shored up the districts held by white Republicans, it “removed the economic guts” of the urban districts held by black Democrats, the judges said in a 154-page opinion.

The Texas population grew by 4.3 million in the last decade, and 89% of the growth was made up of Latinos, blacks and Asians, the court said. Yet, minority lawmakers were not likely to win even one more seat in Congress under the plan struck down Tuesday.

The decision, if upheld on appeal, will force Texas lawmakers to redraw the districts to elect a greater number of minority legislators.

Matt Angle, director of the Lone Star Project that worked on the legal challenge, called the decision “a damning indictment of (Gov.) Rick Perry and other Texas Republican leaders who, in a cynical attempt to hold on to power, engaged in intentional discrimination against Texas Latino and African American voters.”
---
Now how could a plan that drew districts resembling a corn maze possibly be gerrymandering?

So who's going to be there for the NFC?

Yeah, yeah... it's only Preseason. But... Peyton still has "it" and is in a much easier division. 

Let's see how the Pats feel about playing at Denver in December.

Sometimes, you get more than you pay for

I recently had a friend over for dinner and was asked why I spent extra for the spaghetti sauce instead of buying what was on sale.

Because it's worth it.

Godspeed Neil Armstrong

Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

A true hero not just for America, but all mankind.

I have to admit I teared up whenever I heard the news. He was a modest man "just doing his job" that never understood his unmatched glory and remained intensely private until his death.

There will be no asterek next to his name in the history books.

Reach Out and Touch Someone

Been making lots of improvements to the F-350. The latest is installing a CB. I wanted to use my old President HR2510 and Texas Star DX667, but they have been sitting in a closet since I quit trucking in the mid-90's. The old skipshooter had a wee bit of dust on it so I figured a trip to the radio shop was in order. Luckily one of the best in the nation is in Weatherford, Clay's Radio Shop.

I bought the radio from Clay when his shop was out on I-20 in Gorman. He's since downsized his operation and is right down the street from the Courthouse doing mostly mail order work now. He's also working with Harley-Davidson developing a new communication system for their touring bikes. Sadly, he spends all his time behind the bench now and no longer does installations so I had doing that myself to look forward to.

As my luck runs, the old President was sick (bad processor) and they don't make replacement parts for that model anymore. I looked at his selection of 10 Meter and CB radios then decided on a Galaxy 939. Good solid radio albeit a tad more expensive than a Cobra or Uniden. He tuned and matched the radio and amp for me then I had Clay fix me up with a bed stakehole antenna mount, coax and some quick power disconnects. I'd already bought a Wilson 5000 antenna off eBay.

Next, a trip to Lowes for some 8ga wire and O'Reilly's for a 90amp fuselink and I'm ready to start installation.

I put the fuselink between the battery and power cord in case it developed a short anywhere along the way then routed the wire along the fender and thru a grommet near the passenger door and into the cab.

Sounds easy, doesn't it? My hands looked like I had been wrestling with a Honey Badger when I was done. To make things worse, right after I took this picture I decided to pull the wire out and wrap it in foam shipping material and electrical tape to prevent the insulation from rubbing against the fender. So... Honey Badger x2.

Now I was ready to mount the radio and amp, except I didn't have a mount. But I know a guy... Hellooo, Brother In-law! He had a small piece of aluminum diamond plate and a metal break. We managed to come up with a pretty snazzy little mount in no time. The only thing left was bolting it to the floorboard. Here's where Ford's engineers screwed me. Instead of rubber insulation, they used fiber and it wound around the drill bit like spaghetti on a fork. I tried to cut a clear path with a box cutter and pushing the material out of the way with a screwdriver and after enough attempts managed to get all 4 holes drilled without destroying the carpet. I needed a leather punch to do it right.

Getting the sheet metal bolts to thread up was a different story. The fiber would foul the threads and cause the bolt to pop out before it could get a firm bite. Again with the screwdriver pushing the matting out of the way then trying over and over again we managed finally to get 3 out of 4 to bite and tighten up. The 4th one is still mocking me but at that point I didn't care. It was solid and I'll fish the other one in the hole someday when I'm not feeling frustrated enough.

Here you can see the back of the radio and the quick disconnect for the power. I can pull the radio in under a minute if I have to. 1 power plug, 1 coax and 4 thumbscrews. I need to come up with a way to tidy up the wires. Thinking about finding a matching piece of carpet and some Velcro.

Here's a closer look at the stake hole mount I used. It worked like a charm. I put the plastic stake hole cover back over the stainless steel mount to prevent the aluminum toolbox from rubbing against it.

Running the coax was the simplest part of the whole procedure. There's a grommet in the lower right of the rear cab wall. Setting the SWR's (tuning the antenna) took about 10 minutes and Voilà! I'm back on the air again and it looks like a professional installation.

You'll notice in the top pic I made sure to leave enough room to use the powerport and open the storage compartment/ashtray. More importantly, the radio is secure and not going anywhere in case of an accident. The last thing you want is 10 pounds of angry electronics flying around inside the cab after some idiot plows into you.

Hurricane Isaac to Visit GOP Convention?

I can't help but think of this image.

And wasn't Pat Robertson saying hurricanes were "God punishing the guilty" a few years ago?

So Easy, A Chevy Guy Can Do It.

I just learned a very cool mod on a Ford forum that is factory installed but rarely used on Ford Super Duty trucks. The High Idle modification. All it takes is connecting 1 wire to a power source and you have 1200RPM idle on command. Took me all of 5 minutes to connect on my '06 F-350.

The high idle setting is intended for PTO use, but it comes in handy for warming up, charging or (as anyone who's sat in a Super Duty on a hot Summer day knows) getting that A/C to cool properly while sitting still. But besides the creature comforts it also prevents "Wet Stacking" in diesel engines. At idle a diesel engine can over-cool it's self...thus not all the fuel injected "burns off" (you need compression & heat to burn diesel). The fuel will condense and work it's way past the piston rings and into the lube oil, diluting the oil and wreaking havoc with your lube oil system.

Here's how it's done... I found the orange PTO wire that is located behind the emergency brake in a bundle of wires (mine was factory labeled) and stripped the end of it. Next, I took a short piece of 14 gauge wire and connected it with a solderless connector and crimped/taped it. I ran that wire to the fuse box where I found an empty slot. I took a 10a mini fuse, wrapped the bare wire around it and plugged it in.

Done. It was just that simple.

Now all I have to do is set the emergency brake and it bumps the idle up to 1200 rpm no muss, no fuss. Release the brake and it drops back down to normal. If you don't want it e-brake actuated you can run a hotwire from a toggle or upfitter switch and connect to the BCP (Battery Charge Protect) wire instead of the PTO wire (all the wires in the bundle are color coded and labeled). But wired this way it's impossible for me to forget to turn it off.

I'll find a better keyed power source than a wire wrapped around a fuse later. I really didn't feel like dismantling the fuse box and running the wire in from behind. But this worked in a pinch. All you need is to get power to the PTO or BCP wire, the ECM (on-board computer) does the rest automatically.

Billy Wilder, James Cagney, Greatness

I don't expect you to watch all three clips all the way thru... but you should. There are a few times when everything just clicks. Lightning in a bottle. This is one of those times and thank God it was captured on film and fully restored.

Kudos to TCM for including it in their Jimmy Cagney Night. Double kudos to DirecTv for upgrading to TCM-HD. Triple Kudos to the Coca-Cola Company without whom, none of this would have been possible.