Now that's a serious tan

The maker of Banana Boat sunscreen is recalling some half-million bottles of spray-on lotion after reports that a handful of people have caught on fire after applying the product.

Unconfirmed reports say Patricia Krentcil has stockpiled all she can get.

To Vegas, or not to Vegas? That is the question.

I've been contemplating going to Las Vegas for Halloween. Where else but Sin City to celebrate All Hallows Eve?

This trip will be a classic affirmation of everything right and true in the national character. A gross physical salute to the fantastic possibilities of life in this country. But only for those with true grit.

And we are chock full of that, man.

Spirit Airlines has some $200 round-trip flights, I've got a comp'ed room thru the end of December at Stratosphere and another at Monte Carlo.

Classic strategy. There is a certain bent appeal in the notion of running a savage burn on one Las Vegas hotel, and then just wheeling across town and checking into another.

Plus, I can do a pretty convincing Raoul Duke.

What's Your Vector, Victor?

It's all over by the :45 mark. But things got real interesting there for a second.

If you follow the comments on YouTube it's debatable who was at fault. The camera gives a false platform from which to judge. But, if you look at the horizon and not the aircraft it appears the tanker zigged when he should have zagged while correcting and nosed over in front of the AWACS when he should have pulled up.

The AWACS pilot reacted correctly, in the nick-o-time, and nosed over hard which resulted in some violent negative G's, but avoided a mid-air collision.

That had to be a wild ride onboard the AWACS. There were injuries and damage to the aircraft reported.

Future Dallas Cowboys Defense Unveiled

It's a Jerry Jones starter kit. Just add some silver pants and a blue star on the helmet.

On The Radar: Hulu Edition

Kitchen Confidential
Very loosely based on Anthony Bourdain's best selling autobiography, this 2005 FOX series didn't last a season, but it had potential. FOX gave this one the full Firefly treatment, screwing with the schedule and eventually canning the series after just a few episodes before it could build an audience.

Producers Darren Star (Sex and the City) and Dave Hemingson (Just Shoot Me!, American Dad) put together a great cast led by a pre-Hangover Bradley Cooper as Chef "Jack" Bourdain. It also featured Frank Langella as Nolita's owner Pino, and John Cho as Teddy in recurring supporting roles. It was a solid, talented cast infused with several promising new faces.

Unfortunately, Anthony Bourdain didn't do any of the writing for the series. In fact, he had barely anything at all to do with it other than a "based on" credit. Hemingson wrote the first two episodes, then a cornucopia of writers wrote the final 11. Star directed the first 2 episodes then opened the revolving directors door for the remainder which probably explains why the plot wanders from episode to episode.

It's still a fast paced, funny look at life inside an upscale kitchen with a talented but dysfunctional staff. Worth checking out when you get the chance. All 13 episodes (most of which were never aired) are available on Hulu.

Grease City Burger Co.

Maybe I just caught them on an off night. But when you pay damn near $10 for a burger and onion rings there had better be no "off" nights. It's been several months since I ate at Rock City Burger Co in Bridgeport, but from what I remembered they were pretty freakin' good. They won the Best Burger in Wise award for 2011-12. Usually good eats.

Tonight, a much different story. There were only 2 customers there when I pulled up. I thought it was good timing. Instead, it was probably a sign that things have gone way downhill in a hurry and I would be better off going to Sonic.

I ordered a single meat cheeseburger with grilled onions, jalapenos, mushrooms and onions plus an order of onion rings. Yeah, I like onions. What I got was a single greaseburger with a patty so thin you could read a newspaper thru it and all the fixins lumped in the middle. The onion rings were undercoated and undercooked. Even the Dr. Pepper was weak.

Now, I love a greasy cheeseburger as much as the next red blooded American. Herd's in Jackistan is the best I've ever had. But this was much different. It was like they added extra grease with each ingredient.  I wound up throwing over 1/2 the meal in the trash. It was that bad.

I walked in expecting a killer meal. I walked out having survived a meal that tried to kill me. Maybe they need to concentrate less on the Jeep videos and more on the kitchen.

Now where's my Lipitor?

One Take?

Those Old Spice fantasy commercials are pretty entertaining. But I was shocked to find out they did it in one continuous shot.

h/t H8torade

Christina Applegate Fits Right In as SNL Host

I was expecting a lot from the SNL cold open. Naturally they went with the VP debate and Biden's over the top expressions. What I wasn't expecting was an F-bomb from Kate McKennon as moderator Martha Raddatz directed toward Jim Lehrer that wasn't funny and just plain mean that drew a stunned reaction from the audience. It took a lot away from what would have been a funny bit with Jason Sudeikis and Taran Killam that included a cameo by Usain Bolt.

Host Christina Applegate displayed her singing skills during the monologue then followed it up with a great performance in the recurring skit "The Californians". Next she hosted "Tech Talk", a bit that will make any iPhone user cringe as experts complained about the flaws with iPhone 5's and Chinese factory workers responded to them with their living and working conditions. When asked if the Chinese workers had any complaints about American products, they responded "Good question. What does America make? Does diabetes count as a product?".

Christina was also in a video parody of a blockbuster action movie trailer entitled "Give Us All Our Daughters Back" as Uma Thurmon. The bit was funny and gave Jay Pharoh and Bill Hader a chance to show off their considerable impersonation skills as Denzel Washington and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Bobby Moynihan also pulled off a very funny Steven Segal.

Following a performance by Passion Pit, Weekend Update tore into the debates including a visit from Nasim Pedrad who nailed it as Arianna Huffington. Expect to see much more of Arianna in the future. Kenan Thompson then brought back his Top French Def Jam comedian Jean K. Jean to comment on Lance Armstrong. He commented on everything but.

Up next another appearance by Christina as leader of a Siren trio in the Aegean Sea singing 90's pop songs to Odysseus that featured some high tech special effects. Then a skit about the "Booker T. Washington High School Hell-oween Ball"  featuring Christina as school librarian Miss Schrader dressed as "the ghost of the Haunted Library , not the KKK Fairy as some students suggested".

Following another performance by Passion Pit, a final skit with Christina as an over the top dance studio instructor the students can't understand.

You can tell when the host has talent and can work on the fly, they're in more skits. Tonight there was barely anything that didn't feature Christina. I predict she'll be back numerous times after tonight where she melded right in with the cast and had a flawless performance.

I give tonight's show an A-. A majority of the credit going to Christina and her excellent performance. You would have thought she was a veteran cast member.

This was her second time hosting SNL. The first was during her Kelly Bundy days back in 1993 on the episode when Chris Farley debuted loud-mouthed, thrice-divorced, government cheese-eating motivational speaker "in a van, down by the river" Matt Foley.

Let's hope it's not another 19 years before she gets another shot.

On The Radar: Hitchcock

Good Evening

I hadn't heard a peep about this film until I ran across it on Bag Of Nothing. From what the trailer reveals, I'm very intrigued. 

Anthony Hopkins probably wouldn't have been my first pick as Hitch, but it's not a bad one. On the other hand Scarlett Johansson is perfect as Janet Leigh. Toss in Hellen Mirren as Lady Reville, Jessica Biel as Vera Miles and James D'Arcy as Anthony Perkins and you might have a decent flick.

My spidey senses are tingling!

It's Like Zombieland, But With Water Bottles

Only 1 man can save us...

Why do I suspect this guy has a bigger Twinkie fetish than Tallahassee?

No Reservations? I Beg To Differ!

I don't usually go to speaking engagements featuring celebrity chefs (or anyone else for that matter), but this sounded too good to pass up. I'm a big Tony Bourdain fan. I like his "Gonzo" style of writing, his snarky razor sharp wit and his approach to life in general.

Getting Eric Ripert on stage at the same time? Bonus! They will only be doing 3 shows together and Bass Hall is one of them.

This should be a very entertaining event and I snagged some killer seats. Tickets are still available for their Nov 9 appearance at Bass Hall.

Get Lost Maze

Shouldn't that be Maize Maze?

Why haven't I heard about this before? Sounds like a blast! I bet it could get pretty spooky after dark with the fog and performers.

Get Lost Maze

Blue Bell in Spaaaaace!

Back in orbit!

Among the important cargo onboard the SpaceX Dragon capsule is material to create Silly Putty as well as ice cream.

The ice cream tagging along on the space flight that launched Sunday night from Cape Canaveral, Fla is none other than our beloved Blue Bell. The capsule is expected to reach the International Space Station on Wednesday.

The Blue Bell will be stored in GLACIER, or General Laboratory Active Cryogenic ISS Experiment Refrigerator. Primarily used to preserve science samples that require temperatures between -301 and 39 degrees Fahrenheit on the way to or from the space station, it makes a dandy ice cream transporter. The mini-fridge sized freezer previously flew aboard the space shuttle.

All space station crew members, regardless of their home nation, spend time training for their expeditions at Johnson Space Center in Houston, and everybody knows Blue Bell dominates the market in Texas.

As such, the Blue Bell Sundae Ice Cream Cups should be especially welcome by Expedition 33's commander, NASA astronaut Sunita Williams, as well as flight engineers Yuri Malenchenko of Russia's federal space agency and Japan Aerospace Exploration Agency (JAXA) astronaut Akihiko Hoshide.

Blue Bell isn't a space rookie. Far from it. In 1995, astronauts aboard the space shuttle Atlantis first took Blue Bell along for the ride. In 2006 it made it's first visit to the ISS delivered by, ironically, Atlantis.

SNL: Big Bird Steals The Show

I normally try to give you an SNL critique, but this Stackjack pretty much sums it up.

The show's highlight came when a "very tired" Big Bird joined Seth Meyers during "Weekend Update" about "seven hours past his bed time." The iconic "Sesame Street" character learned he was mentioned in the debate after "getting a million tweets" but passed on making any statements on the election or Mitt Romney's vow to cut federal funding for PBS because he didn't want to "ruffle any political feathers." Needless to say, the eight-foot tall Big Bird towered over Meyers as they sat together behind the anchor desk. 

You have to love Big Bird. Even when attacked, he turns the other cheek. He just wants to be your friend. A touching moment came in the closing credits when Bobby Moynihan got to hug Big Bird goodbye. You could see the 6 year old kid inside Bobby.

QB Facebook Smackdown

h/t: profootballmock.com

Even More Oldies

Remember these classic 60's TV shows?

Neither do I. And I watched a LOT of TV as a kid.

Well to be completely honest I remember one of them, The Defenders with E.G. Marshall.

On the other hand, I do remember several of these one season wonders:

But not the James Garner/Margot Kidder gig. Who gave that the greenlight?

The Coolest Song Ever Written

You remember him as Rampart General Hospital's laid back, friendly and competent Joe Early, M.D.
I prefer to remember him as the author of one of the coolest song ever.

Don't believe me?

Ya nailed it Bob. Your Honor, the defense rests.

Movies You've Watched 1000 Times

I was watching The Daily Show the other night and during an interview with Liam Neeson the subject of movies you watch whenever they're on and you're up was raised. You know what I mean. It's 3am, you can't sleep and that movie is on. For Liam it was Midnight Express. Not a bad pick, btw.

Not sure I could nail it down to THE one, but I've got a short list that I don't stray far from (in no particular order):

1. The Right Stuff
2. Blood Alley
3. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
4. Blazing Saddles
5. Last American Hero
6. They Were Expendable
7. Hud
8. The Blues Brothers
9. Strategic Air Command
10. 12 O' Clock High

Now that by no means is my Top 10 movie list, although it probably makes up a good chunk of it. But if I'm up and one of those movies is on, I'm probably watching it (and quoting lines from it).

I'm also a sucker for old TV shows. Channel 49 has been filling the gap with The Rockford Files, Emergency!, Hawaii Five-0 and more on my DVR. But starting this month they decided to begin using local programming and scrapped Five-0 and Emergency! among other MeTV shows.

Sheesh, couldn't they have axed Bonanza and The Wild, Wild West instead?

My take on: The Presidential Debates

Just bullrush the old school polite moderator and out talk your opponent with press releases instead of answering questions.

If you don't follow the rules, there can be no winner or loser. Jim Lehrer should have nutted up and made the candidates debate within the guidelines instead of letting the inmates run the asylum. This was dueling press conferences.

I don't think anyone learned anything about either candidate tonight.

What they need to do is set up a scoring system just like debating in school. You wander off topic you lose points.

You would see some politicians sweating like a whore in church on Judgement Day if this was implemented.

Why I should stay away from auctions

I went to the big Ritchie Brothers auction last week in Lake Worth and found a brush hog that looked decent. I would up winning the auction for $500. Not bad (or so I thought).  When I got it home I figured out why it was auctioned off. The 2 piece sliding drive shaft was rusted up and it took about half a can of WD40 to get it freed up enough to budge with a hammer, a BIG hammer.

Once I got the drive shaft connected I gave it a test run and found out there appear to be some teeth missing in the gearbox or it has a full race cam. I went back to double check the auction description and nowhere did it say "brush hog with redneck gear box". For the record, I'm not a complete idiot. I did look under the mower to make sure everyting was hunky-dory and spun the driveline by hand before I bid on it to make sure it wasn't seized up. But I didn't spin it enough to go all the way around the gear. Fortunately I have another old mower laying around that I can cannibalize, but for a couple hundred bucks more I could have bought a brand new one.

Then there's the forklift...

I was trying to do a friend a favor and bid on a forklift for him. I had him on the phone telling me what to bid on and how much. Problem is I have some pretty severe tinnitus and hearing loss. Mix in speakers blaring the auctioneer at 100db+ and what we have here is failure to communicate. I don't like it any more than you do...

I wound up the winning bid, but it was a 3 piece lot. I didn't know which one he wanted from the lot and couldn't hear him on the phone so I took the most scientific approach possible in a pinch: eenie, meenie, miney, moe.

I picked meenie when it should have been eenie. So I wound up buying a forklift that neither of us wanted. Hopefully, I can get my money back when I run it back thru their next auction in the spring. But there's still taxes, fees, transportation, ect...

Oh well, I can always just go pick some more cash off my money tree with my new forklift...

Hi-Yo Silver!

Not much too it, but here's the first official peek at Disney's upcoming The Lone Ranger starring Johnny Depp and Armie Hammer. Let's just say it ain't Jay Silverheels and Clayton Moore.

Do you know what "nemesis" means?

NSFW: Language (in case you didn't already know)


Bandon, Oregon-  Oregon authorities know only two things for sure about the death of 70-year-old farmer Terry Vance Garner: He died Wednesday and his hogs ate most of him, according to news reports.

A relative found Garner's dentures and pieces of his body in the hog enclosure after Garner didn't return from feeding his 700-pound animals that morning on his farm in Riverton, near the coast, the Associated Press says.

The Coos County district attorney's office said today that one hog had either bitten or been aggressive with Garner in the past. District Attorney Paul Fraiser told The Register-Guard that Garner may have had a heart attack or other medical emergency, or perhaps knocked down by the hogs. But investigators aren't yet ruling out criminality by humans.

Last year, one of the large sows bit Terry Garner after he had accidentally stepped on one of the piglets.

“He said he was going to kill it, but when I asked him about it later, he said he had changed his mind,” Michael Garner said.

John Killefer, who heads the Animal and Rangeland Sciences Department at Oregon State University in Corvallis, called the incident involving Terry Garner both “very unfortunate” and highly unusual.

The local press says that a forensic pathologist examined Garner's body Saturday, and that a forensic anthropologist from the University of Oregon will also examine the remains.

I thought it gave you wings?

CAPE CANAVERAL, Fla. –  The countdown is on for skydiver Felix Baumgartner. In just two weeks, the Austrian parachutist will attempt to go supersonic when he jumps from a record altitude of 23 miles (37 kilometers) over the U.S.

Baumgartner expects to reach a top speed of 690 mph (1,110 kph) and break the sound barrier with only his body.

Project managers announced Tuesday the attempt will take place Oct. 8, a delay from August.


"I feel like a tiger in a cage waiting to get out," Baumgartner, 43, said in a statement.

He jumped from 18 miles (29 kilometers) in July. This time, he hopes to break the all-time record of 19.5 miles (31 kilometers) set in 1960.

The effort is privately funded by the energy drink maker Red Bull. One team leader is record-holder Joe Kittinger, who was a U.S. Air Force captain when he took part in the record-setting military high-jump project decades ago.

It's Alive!

Sunday night my pc's cpu cooling fan quit. No fan, no computer. It's as simple as that. Monday I did some open heart surgery and removed the dead fan and heat sink, then set out on my quest. First stop was Radio Shack in Decatur.

Remember when Radio Shack had everything electronic imaginable? Well, they don't anymore. They had 3 different fans... 3. All of which were too big and wired wrong. The salesman suggested I try Bridgeport, but I knew if I backtracked to Bridgeport and they didn't have one it would just be a longer drive to Fry's in Arlington where I knew they had what I needed. So off to Arlington I went.

Sure enough they had a fan that would fit, but it was not variable speed. So I spent an extra $4 and bought a complete Cooler Master cpu fan/heat sink combo for $15. It said right on the box it would fit an AMD processor. What it didn't say was it would fit my motherboard because as I would soon find out... it wouldn't. But that's getting ahead of the story.

After I left Fry's I decided to forgo sitting in the afternoon traffic jam on I-35 and headed to China Dragon Super Buffet on 183 in Euless. Or is it Bedford? Hurst? You really have to want to eat there with all the construction going on. Miss the exit and it's about a 3 mile drive thru neighborhood streets to get back there. But it's worth it. Trust me.

I pigged out on crawdads, boiled shrimp, coconut shrimp, spicy shrimp

and I had a fudge brownie sundae for desert. Not bad for around $10.

With my tummy happy, I drove home with visions of slapping my new cooler in and being back in business. Too bad it didn't exactly work that way once I got home. The mounting bracket didn't fit my moboard. Not even close. I decided to try using the bracket off my old cooler and even though it didn't line up exactly like the old heat sink, it was close enough to work.

So now my computer's happy and I'm back on the interwebs for under $30, all you can eat shrimp dinner included. Beats the hell out of buying a new computer.

The Darwin Award goes to...

A man jumped out of the Bronx Zoo's monorail into the tiger exhibit Friday afternoon, where he was mauled by a 400-pound Siberian tiger before zoo employees rescued him by using fire extinguishers to distract the big cat, zoo officials said.

The 400-pound Siberian tiger named Bachuta could have killed the intruder in an instant but  fast-acting zoo workers were able to rescue the jumper who had been in the enclosure for about 10 minutes, Bronx Zoo Director Jim Breheny said.

"Tigers are extremely capable predators: They typically grab a prey animal by the back of the neck and it's over very quickly," Breheny said. "This cat did not do this to the individual."

Authorities identified the jumper as David Villalobos. The 25-year-old from Mahopac suffered "various bites or puncture wounds on his arms and legs and also the top of his shoulder on his back,"  Breheny said. He also suffered a broken arm and ankle, perhaps from the 17-foot drop off the monorail.

Around 3:30 p.m., Villalobos took a flying leap off the last car of the zoo's Wild Asia Monorail, a slow-moving train with open sides that takes visitors along the zoo's tree tops to peer down on the wild creatures below.

He was able to clear a perimeter fence -- an athletic feat that was a first in the history of the monorail, authorities said -- and land in the tiger enclosure.  Bachuta, an 11-year-old Siberian tiger weighing more than 400 pounds then mauled Villalobos.

The zoo's staff was able to chase Bachuta off by spraying the creature with a fire extinguisher. Once the tiger backed away, the zoo staff yelled at the man, instructing him to roll under a hot wire to safety, Breheny said.

The keepers then called the tiger into its holding area and secured him there, Breheny said.

Once the tiger was contained, EMTs rushed to the scene and treated the man, officials said. He was conscious and talking as he was taken to the hospital by ambulance, Breheny said.

"If the tiger really wanted to do harm to this individual he certainly would have had the time to do that," said Breheny.

Villalobos was taken to Jacobi Hospital in critical condition.  The tiger "did nothing wrong" Breheny said, and will not be put down.

Authorities offered no motivation as to why Villalobos took the leap into the tiger cage. His Facebook page lists "Mother Earth" as his religion and features many photos of lions, a jaguar and tigers.

LINK

Keep Manhattan, Just Give Me That Countryside

Got Dirt?

Been playing Green Acres around The South 40 this week. Brother In-law brought his big ass tractors over and it didn't take long to plow 40 acres. It was also pretty nice doing it in an air conditioned cab listening to the stereo. First time I've ever done that. I'm used to sitting in the open listening to the exhaust and choking on the dust. You know... farming.

It's the only way to fly!

Now I get to go remove the rocks that came up before we run the planter. It tends to not like large hard objects in it's path.

To quote a line by Karl Maldren from How The West Was Won "I have the finest crop of rocks in Stone County". I pulled several tons of rocks out of the field last fall. I'm not exaggerating either. I've got 4 huge piles and every rock in them was hand picked. Now it looks like I might have another ton or so in the field again. Hoo-ray!

What I need to do is figure out a way to pull a Tom Sawyer scam on some city folk and get them to pay me for doing it for me. The South 40 All Natural Full Body Workout! Only $20 for a limited time!! (The effectiveness of this hasn't been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration and any claims of results or lack thererof may be in dispute)

That may sound ludicrous to you, but there is a guy baling Dove Weed and selling it for $10 a bale in the Metroplex as dove attractant. I kid you not. 

P.T. Barnum was right.

Seth MacFarlane Kills

The season premier of SNL lived up to, and possibly exceeded the hype with rookie host Seth MacFarlane. The opening skit was funny with Jay Pharoh taking over the role of Obama. He hasn't quite nailed it yet, but he has the mannerisms down. I look for much improvement from the talented impersonator.

MacFarlane nailed his monologue. He was born to do SNL:


He was also extremely funny as laid back Olympic Gold Medalist Ryan Lochte on Weekend Update:


And he was in a very funny skit about Korean pop star and internet meme Psy (who made a cameo). The bit also featured one of my favorite SNL players, Bobby Moynihan. He's got that Chris Farley/John Belushi vibe.


Credit for the episode's funniest skit goes to Bill Hader and his PTSD puppeteer.


Let's hope this is the first in a long string of hosting gigs for Seth MacFarlane on SNL. It wasn't all gold, but it was worth the 90 minutes.

On The Radar: Seven Psychopaths

I like it... It's got layers.

Chock full o' cowbell!

How do you spell awesome? T-W-E-R-P!

My 50th Anniversary Icky Twerp shirt arrived in the mail today. 

Greatness!

You can get yours here.

It's a shame Bill Camfield doesn't get more credit for his work at KFJZ/KTVT. He was more popular, but much less politically correct than Jerry Haynes' Mr. Peppermint at WFAA. Camfield's comedy was more slapstick and aimed at a broader audience than you would expect from a local kid's show. 

Slam Bang Theater even featured a very contriversial  guest appearance by a famous Ft.Worth
stripper and got away with it on a "children's" program. The guy had balls. His comedy and fame crossed several boundaries without becoming offensive yet staying entertaining. 

It's too easy to try to compare Ickey Twerp with Krusty The Clown (the Simpson's version of Bozo). The big difference is Icky Twerp wasn't a franchised copy of a character. Icky Twerp/Bill Camfield was all original top to bottom.

He was a true pioneer of television.

New Kids On The Block

 Aidy Bryant, Tim Robinson, and Cecily Strong

Meet the newest SNL cast members. They will be replacing Kristen Wiig, Andy Samberg, and Abby Elliott who all left at the end of last season.Those are some pretty big shoes to fill, but Aidy Bryant, Tim Robinson, and Cecily Strong all have strong comedic pedigrees from Chicago's Second City Theater.

Learn more bout them here.

I Love a Parade Pt:2

I heard they had a great turnout for the WCSP Rodeo this weekend. Unfortunately, we've had no entries in the Parade Photo Contest, so I'm going to call that a bust. Shame on you guys, ya'll missed a good parade.

Things changed on the fly, as they usually do in these kind of events. The stage was not where it usually was and was facing the wrong way. I was asked to bring music and then they switched to live music which became unstable when I tried to announce the parade over the top of the singer facing the other direction. I had a good 12 minute mix of western swing instrumentals on my phone that would have been perfect.

There weren't any school bands participating (and I still don't understand why) but Primo's had their own band which was pretty cool. I heard they won an award for their performance. Too bad nobody took any pictures...

Don't worry I saw Joe Duty scurrying around doing his thing, so I'm sure there will be some in The Mess.

Even with the Chisholm Trail Days events going on, the turnout was pretty sparse compared to when I was a kid. What's happened? Bands don't participate, people don't show up, a chunk of our heritage fades away. I've seen crowds show up in Jackistan for their parades and they line the streets. Everybody shows up. Why are things so different here?

Is a parade too lame for us Wise County urbanites? I hope not.

I Love a Parade!

Looks like it's time to dust off the old microphone. For better or worse, I'll be the Master of Ceremonies once again for the 58th Annual Wise County Sheriff's Posse Rodeo Parade this Saturday in Decatur. I haven't seen the final line up yet, but I can guarantee you it will be fun for the whole family. I'm hoping to see some local High School bands involved. For some reason they haven't been participating in the parade for several years. As a proud former member of The World's Largest Non-Nuclear Coast Guard Marching Band, I question the absence of  local bands at a gig that just begs for a marching band. Consider it a warm-up for Homecoming, whatever... it's what marching bands do! The forecast is calling for a high in the mid-80's, so the weather will be perfect! There's no excuse for not participating.

This will be my 5th time emceeing the parade. That puts me in the exclusive Five-Timers Club with Candice Bergen and Bill Murray. OK, so they were hosting SNL, but this is also a live event and they didn't have to work with horses and fire trucks so I'm crashing their party. They're free to file a protest if they don't agree with my ruling.

Amazing how downtown Decatur resembles downtown Ft. Worth in those pictures, ain't it? Actually those are from the WCSP at the 2012 Stock Show Parade. I don't have time to play Joe Duty when I'm announcing so this is the best I could do. (Note: They had LOTS of marching bands there!) Better yet, come on down to The Square this Saturday and take your own! Maybe we could scrounge up a photo contest with some sort of prize. Who knows? Just ignore the fat man on the stage. He is not the droid you're looking for. You have your assignment. Good luck, Mr. Phelps.

Don't about forget the all Chisholm Trail Days Western Heritage Festival events that will be happening downtown on Saturday and the dance following the Rodeo on Friday night. It's a weekend full of good music and fun stuff to do. How often can you say that in Decatur?

Cowboy up.

On The Radar: Silver Linings Playbook

This film has a lot going for it. And by a lot, I mean Jennifer Lawrence behaving inappropriately. Most of it is not on camera (damn it!) but recalled in conversation with Bradley Cooper. Oh yeah, he's in the film, too along with some De Niro guy...

Adapted from the novel by Matthew Quick this film is about a man recently released from a mental institution that moves back in with Mom & Dad then meets an equally unstable younger woman. Silver Linings Playbook looks quirky enough to be entertaining even if Jennifer wasn't in it.

It's also the first of two films starring Cooper and Lawrence. They team up again in Serena, due out next year.

On The Radar: COPPER

This BBC America original series is good, very good. It will suck you in like a black hole with it's greatness. It rivals anything HBO has had to offer since Deadwood and AMC will have some serious competition come Emmy time.

Definitely DVR worthy.

16 Points in 38 seconds

The Vols went on to win 35 - 21 in the Georgia Dome.

More F-350 Goodies

After spending the better part of 5 minutes trying to hook up to my gooseneck a few days ago I decided it was time for an upgrade in the seeing what the hell is going on department. My radio already is set up for a rearview camera, all I needed was the camera.  It was surprisingly cheaper than I was expecting. I found one on Amazon for under $15. SCORE!

Since I saved about $50 from what I was expecting to spend, I decided to use that for a new XM Xpress receiver. I hate to admit it but I've become kind of spoiled with the Sirius radio in my car. It's nice to be travelling and not constantly searching for or trying to milk the last bit of signal out of a good station. I wish they had this back when I was trucking. But then I would have never heard the guy that barricaded himself inside a Wyoming radio station. That was entertaining, unfortunately I lost the signal before I found out how it ended. Small market radio, gotta love it.

Mounting the camera was a piece of cake. 2 screws in the toolbox, string the wire alongside my CB coax and plug into the radio. Done.

Somebody needs a spray-in bedliner...

The XM was a bit more complex. I decided right on top of my Scangauge was the perfect spot. Didn't block my view and I could route the wires alongside my GPS coax. Getting it mounted on top of the Scangauge was going to be tricky. I couldn't use the mounting screws without destroying the Scangauge. Velco or 2-sided tape was an option, but both have a tendency to come loose in high temps leaving a sticky mess behind and Lord knows a black truck in the Texas sun never gets hot.

That's when I remembered I had a tube of 3M Weatherstrip/Gasket Adhesive and it just happened to be black. That stuff is better than Super Glue and a little dab will do ya. 5 minutes later, TA-DA! I even managed to get it centered and the edges aligned. Good thing because it ain't moving from there.

Not bad for a one eyed fat man...

Now if it takes me 5 minutes to hook up to my trailer, it won't be because I can't see what the hell is going on.

Big Wheels Rollin', Movin On...

I can't think of where to start this. Was it the first time I traveled coast to coast in a truck? The first time I drove a truck professionally? The first time I drove my own truck?

There's a lot of ground (literally) in between those events.

Guess I'll start at where I can remember... Sherman, set the WABAC machine to 1966!

My first cross country trucking experience was bouncing on top of the doghouse of a White Freightliner with a 318 Detroit. Dad drove for Walter Hales and his trucks were leased to Leonard Brothers. They hauled a lot of military freight. I got on the truck with Dad in Bridgeport and the load was going to an AFB in Maine. We got there, smuggled me on base (this was way before 9/11) and unloaded then went to New York and loaded a crane gear going to California. I distinctly remember a massive traffic jam going thru New York City. I had never seen that many cars (or people) in my life.

We had to gateway (drive thru) Florida which made the trip much longer and this was before the days of Interstates. There was more interstate "under construction" than constructed. You still drove the old US highway system thru towns. Most roads ran right thru the middle of town and you actually saw what each city was about instead of 2 exits and a chain truckstop. Think "Cars and Radiator Springs".

This was also long before CB's. A system of hand signals and light flashes was used back then. Not to be confused with a system of hand signals and light flashes used in a rest area or truck stop today. Two completely different things. Trucks weren't as lavish inside as they are now. It was all business. Mostly metal and glass with no built in refrigerator, walk-in sleeper or television. You were lucky if there was an aftermarket air conditioner on the truck. Even luckier if it worked.

 It was also several years before Will & Sonny and their fancy big rig.

I still remember playing in the surf on the beach in Southern California. This was 1966 and I wasn't even in school yet. My Dad may have been a lot of things, but in this case he was a very cool and it obviously stuck with me. Not many people get to travel coast to coast, play in the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans in the same week or experience the trip the way I did on the road before they go to 1st Grade.

Now if you want to hear about the time I was dumped off with a stranger at a New Jersey truckstop and smuggled 100 miles away into Delaware after a company driver snitched on Dad... that's another post.

No wonder I still get "itchy feet" to go back on the road.

I'm Shocked! Shocked I Say!

A three-judge federal court Tuesday found the Republican-controlled Texas Legislature guilty of discriminating against Latinos and blacks in the drawing of new election districts and threw out its redistricting plans for both the U.S. House of Representatives and the state Legislature.


Citing the Voting Rights Act, the judges said the state’s new election districts deliberately undercut the voting power of the growing Latino population. And while the GOP Legislature shored up the districts held by white Republicans, it “removed the economic guts” of the urban districts held by black Democrats, the judges said in a 154-page opinion.

The Texas population grew by 4.3 million in the last decade, and 89% of the growth was made up of Latinos, blacks and Asians, the court said. Yet, minority lawmakers were not likely to win even one more seat in Congress under the plan struck down Tuesday.

The decision, if upheld on appeal, will force Texas lawmakers to redraw the districts to elect a greater number of minority legislators.

Matt Angle, director of the Lone Star Project that worked on the legal challenge, called the decision “a damning indictment of (Gov.) Rick Perry and other Texas Republican leaders who, in a cynical attempt to hold on to power, engaged in intentional discrimination against Texas Latino and African American voters.”
---
Now how could a plan that drew districts resembling a corn maze possibly be gerrymandering?

So who's going to be there for the NFC?

Yeah, yeah... it's only Preseason. But... Peyton still has "it" and is in a much easier division. 

Let's see how the Pats feel about playing at Denver in December.

Sometimes, you get more than you pay for

I recently had a friend over for dinner and was asked why I spent extra for the spaghetti sauce instead of buying what was on sale.

Because it's worth it.

Godspeed Neil Armstrong

Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

A true hero not just for America, but all mankind.

I have to admit I teared up whenever I heard the news. He was a modest man "just doing his job" that never understood his unmatched glory and remained intensely private until his death.

There will be no asterek next to his name in the history books.

Reach Out and Touch Someone

Been making lots of improvements to the F-350. The latest is installing a CB. I wanted to use my old President HR2510 and Texas Star DX667, but they have been sitting in a closet since I quit trucking in the mid-90's. The old skipshooter had a wee bit of dust on it so I figured a trip to the radio shop was in order. Luckily one of the best in the nation is in Weatherford, Clay's Radio Shop.

I bought the radio from Clay when his shop was out on I-20 in Gorman. He's since downsized his operation and is right down the street from the Courthouse doing mostly mail order work now. He's also working with Harley-Davidson developing a new communication system for their touring bikes. Sadly, he spends all his time behind the bench now and no longer does installations so I had doing that myself to look forward to.

As my luck runs, the old President was sick (bad processor) and they don't make replacement parts for that model anymore. I looked at his selection of 10 Meter and CB radios then decided on a Galaxy 939. Good solid radio albeit a tad more expensive than a Cobra or Uniden. He tuned and matched the radio and amp for me then I had Clay fix me up with a bed stakehole antenna mount, coax and some quick power disconnects. I'd already bought a Wilson 5000 antenna off eBay.

Next, a trip to Lowes for some 8ga wire and O'Reilly's for a 90amp fuselink and I'm ready to start installation.

I put the fuselink between the battery and power cord in case it developed a short anywhere along the way then routed the wire along the fender and thru a grommet near the passenger door and into the cab.

Sounds easy, doesn't it? My hands looked like I had been wrestling with a Honey Badger when I was done. To make things worse, right after I took this picture I decided to pull the wire out and wrap it in foam shipping material and electrical tape to prevent the insulation from rubbing against the fender. So... Honey Badger x2.

Now I was ready to mount the radio and amp, except I didn't have a mount. But I know a guy... Hellooo, Brother In-law! He had a small piece of aluminum diamond plate and a metal break. We managed to come up with a pretty snazzy little mount in no time. The only thing left was bolting it to the floorboard. Here's where Ford's engineers screwed me. Instead of rubber insulation, they used fiber and it wound around the drill bit like spaghetti on a fork. I tried to cut a clear path with a box cutter and pushing the material out of the way with a screwdriver and after enough attempts managed to get all 4 holes drilled without destroying the carpet. I needed a leather punch to do it right.

Getting the sheet metal bolts to thread up was a different story. The fiber would foul the threads and cause the bolt to pop out before it could get a firm bite. Again with the screwdriver pushing the matting out of the way then trying over and over again we managed finally to get 3 out of 4 to bite and tighten up. The 4th one is still mocking me but at that point I didn't care. It was solid and I'll fish the other one in the hole someday when I'm not feeling frustrated enough.

Here you can see the back of the radio and the quick disconnect for the power. I can pull the radio in under a minute if I have to. 1 power plug, 1 coax and 4 thumbscrews. I need to come up with a way to tidy up the wires. Thinking about finding a matching piece of carpet and some Velcro.

Here's a closer look at the stake hole mount I used. It worked like a charm. I put the plastic stake hole cover back over the stainless steel mount to prevent the aluminum toolbox from rubbing against it.

Running the coax was the simplest part of the whole procedure. There's a grommet in the lower right of the rear cab wall. Setting the SWR's (tuning the antenna) took about 10 minutes and Voilà! I'm back on the air again and it looks like a professional installation.

You'll notice in the top pic I made sure to leave enough room to use the powerport and open the storage compartment/ashtray. More importantly, the radio is secure and not going anywhere in case of an accident. The last thing you want is 10 pounds of angry electronics flying around inside the cab after some idiot plows into you.

Hurricane Isaac to Visit GOP Convention?

I can't help but think of this image.

And wasn't Pat Robertson saying hurricanes were "God punishing the guilty" a few years ago?

So Easy, A Chevy Guy Can Do It.

I just learned a very cool mod on a Ford forum that is factory installed but rarely used on Ford Super Duty trucks. The High Idle modification. All it takes is connecting 1 wire to a power source and you have 1200RPM idle on command. Took me all of 5 minutes to connect on my '06 F-350.

The high idle setting is intended for PTO use, but it comes in handy for warming up, charging or (as anyone who's sat in a Super Duty on a hot Summer day knows) getting that A/C to cool properly while sitting still. But besides the creature comforts it also prevents "Wet Stacking" in diesel engines. At idle a diesel engine can over-cool it's self...thus not all the fuel injected "burns off" (you need compression & heat to burn diesel). The fuel will condense and work it's way past the piston rings and into the lube oil, diluting the oil and wreaking havoc with your lube oil system.

Here's how it's done... I found the orange PTO wire that is located behind the emergency brake in a bundle of wires (mine was factory labeled) and stripped the end of it. Next, I took a short piece of 14 gauge wire and connected it with a solderless connector and crimped/taped it. I ran that wire to the fuse box where I found an empty slot. I took a 10a mini fuse, wrapped the bare wire around it and plugged it in.

Done. It was just that simple.

Now all I have to do is set the emergency brake and it bumps the idle up to 1200 rpm no muss, no fuss. Release the brake and it drops back down to normal. If you don't want it e-brake actuated you can run a hotwire from a toggle or upfitter switch and connect to the BCP (Battery Charge Protect) wire instead of the PTO wire (all the wires in the bundle are color coded and labeled). But wired this way it's impossible for me to forget to turn it off.

I'll find a better keyed power source than a wire wrapped around a fuse later. I really didn't feel like dismantling the fuse box and running the wire in from behind. But this worked in a pinch. All you need is to get power to the PTO or BCP wire, the ECM (on-board computer) does the rest automatically.

Billy Wilder, James Cagney, Greatness

I don't expect you to watch all three clips all the way thru... but you should. There are a few times when everything just clicks. Lightning in a bottle. This is one of those times and thank God it was captured on film and fully restored.

Kudos to TCM for including it in their Jimmy Cagney Night. Double kudos to DirecTv for upgrading to TCM-HD. Triple Kudos to the Coca-Cola Company without whom, none of this would have been possible.

What's The Frequency, Kenneth?

Not exactly the cowboy way I learned growing up on the farm.
But talk about having your finger on the control button. 

I bet you could have that cow doing Michigan J. Frog impersonations. 

It's Spurs and Latigo

Nothing quite like spending a Saturday night watching small town rodeo. My niece was competing in Jr. Barrel Racing in the Forestburg Riding Club Rodeo, so you know I'm going to be there. She came in 4th. Not too shabby in my book. Her time was .4 seconds faster than than her last race. Keep that up and she'll have a buckle collection before long.

It was actually an impressive turn out. First time in my life I've ever witnessed a traffic jam in Forestburg!

Being the well connected kinda guy that I am, I was invited to watch the Bull Riding from above the bucking chutes. They had a fairly rank bunch of bulls, too. I still need a lot more practice with my camera. I tried the Sports setting hoping to get some clean shots, but they still came out blurry. I'm thinking the bulls might possibly have had a little bit to do with that.

Clown: Hey, you got any nekkid pictures of your Wife?

Announcer: NO! I don't have pictures of my wife naked!!

Clown: Ya wanna buy some?

Monday, Monday...

If I've read my calendar right, it's 2nd Monday Weekend in Bowie.

I need to walk a few hours in 100+ heat to reduce my gut-comference anyway. Plus, you never know what little hidden gem you are going to stumble across at a Second Monday booth. I've got a set of oversize wrenches I bought nearly 30 years ago at 2nd Monday for $20 and they haven't broken yet.

Warning: Not all transactions will have similar results!

Cool Dad Tunes Son's Ride

Did you see the smile on that boy's face?

Priceless.

h/t H8torade

USA! USA! USA!

No I'm not cheering for the US Olympic Team. Altho I am proud of Michael Phelps, Gabby Douglas and almost all of Team USA. They've done a magnificent job and shown the world the best we had to offer. BUT, McKayla Maroney probably showed the worst of our team. Not in her performance, but in her attitude. I can forgive her missing the landing on her vault. What I can't forgive is her pissy attitude and being a sore loser.

Way to make us look like a bunch of spoiled brats McKayla...

She screwed up the landing and didn't deserve the Gold.

What I am cheering about is NASA's Curiosity rover surviving the Seven Minutes of Terror and successfully landing a rover the size of an F-150 on the surface of Mars thru what could easily be described as the "Most Expensive Rube Goldberg Device Ever". The only thing missing was "Powerhouse" playing in the background.

 I watched the landing live on NASA-TV and have to admit I felt that old twinge from the Apollo days. This wasn't Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldren landing on the Moon. It was MUCH more complicated. There were 100's of things that had to go exactly as planned with nobody there to make last second corrections like Neil did... and we pulled it off!



That's pretty freaking amazing.

What's even more amazing was getting images from the surface in just a few minutes. If there was anything that could top that... how about a video if the actual landing starting with the heat shield separation?



USA! USA! USA!

Now we just sit back and wait for everything to power up and start exploring...

Sunday Morning Coming Down