It Was The Best Of Times, It Was The Worst Of Times

Wow, what a weekend. Not everything went as planned, but that wasn't necessarily a bad thing. The obvious movie reference is a line by Gunnery Sergeant Thomas Highway in Heartbreak Ridge, "You improvise, adapt, overcome!"

That I did.

The first Cliff Lee slider was when I got an email from the producer of The Racing Chef wanting to shoot a segment with The Smoking Gun. Uh, we weren't taking it this time. There was a larger smoker planned for a company function with BIL's supplier. I call the owner and he's cool with us using it again. Problem solved.

I get down to TMS Thursday noon and park the RV and help the others get their campers set up, then catch a ride back to The South40 to bring my new and improved minitruck and BIL's golf cart with my truck. When I got back to TMS I was coughing, sneezing and drenched with sweat. I had a fever of 100.3. I did a few NyQuil shooters and went to bed.

When I woke up Friday the fever was gone and I felt relatively normal.

Next was when my new Phillips LCD died after an hour. I had to make a trip to Decatur Saturday morning anyway, so I threw it in the truck and made the dreaded side trip to Walmart. Surprisingly, it was one of the best experiences I've had there. The CSR I got was just as sweet as could be and did absolutely everything she could to get me in & out as fast as she could with as little hassle as possible.

I head back to TMS and get ready for people to arrive. I hook up the new Phillips LCD and put "How To Train Your Dragon" in the BluRay for my niece to watch. She comes to me in about an hour and says, "your TV turned off".

Exxxxxcellent.

I wasn't making any more trips to Decatur until Monday, so I adapt to the natural scenery as entertainment. Not a bad decision even tho the crowd was down considerably from previous years.

Next hurdle is I can't find my phone charger and my phone is down to 1 bar so limited use and no camera. Sorry, no party pictures this trip. Trust me when I say there could have been some great ones. The new speakers, dance pole and strobe lights I installed were a huge hit.

This morning we broke camp and headed home. I did make another stop at Walmart and exchanged the Phillips LCD for a Vizio. It's been on for 3 hours and no problems so far.

TMS Update

We had a genuine celebrity stop by camp. Chef Nicky Morse of SPEED-TV's "The Racing Chef" contacted me about the "Smoking Gun Smoker" we use. He filmed a segment with us yesterday at lunch. It will air next Saturday.

Material Condition Zebra Test

PASSED!

All systems are go for launch. Provisions, life support (beer), field supplies and telecommunications experiments (DirecTv dish) have been loaded aboard. Everything is A-OK!

I was really worried about the water test. The last thing I needed to find was a hidden leak prior to launch. But she's a good ship with a long life ahead of her and maintained an even strain. 

After finishing the drydock tests I gave her a hand wash with some Surf City Garage Wash-n-Wax and made all preparations to get underway. Quartermaster, set an open course for The Virgin Sea! (or Texas Motor Speedway in this case.)

I Never Thought I'd See The Day

You can buy liquor in Chico and I don't mean at the bootlegger! 

I might just have to open a liquor store. Problem is about 20 other people are thinking the very same thing and 19 of them have more money than I do. As many of you know I owned a liquor store in Azle for years, "DJ's". It wasn't a big place in a great location, just a nice neighborhood store. I also worked for the busiest stores in Texas at Centennial/Big Daddy's after I sold my place. So I've seen both ends of the scale, volume and product wise. I also know (or knew) my s**t when it comes to fine wine and spirits.

There's a 10 year or so gap I'd have to fill in on product knowledge, other than that I'm up to snuff. I studied to be a wine sommelier when I worked at Centennial/Big Daddy's. I did everything side by side with their Wine Consultants in training except take the sommelier test at "The Mansion" in Dallas. They wouldn't pay for me to take it because I was a Manager and not a Wine Consultant yet I had to do a Wine Consultant's job and was expected to know that info.

One of the perks of working for a mega-chain (besides selling wine to future high-tone bloggers) was the numerous weekly tutorial/tasting meetings with product reps. It's really a fascinating subject to learn and completely out of character for a redneck like me amongst all the wine snobs, and trust me there are smarmy wine snobs just like in the movies. (Bottle Shock really nails it!) But I think there will be a very low call for fine wine and a large call for cheap beer and whiskey in Chico, so all that studying and knowledge is really for naught.

Either way, I don't see the little Limestone Capitol of Texas generating enough business to support more than 2 liquor stores at the most and I already know who will opening the first one. Beer is another story, that will be available everywhere. There's going to be a bit of shock and controversy over a location that will be selling nobody THOUGHT would be able to. Note to The Chico Texan: You really need to know how TABC measures stuff before you print something.

I once told my BIL that I'd bet my bottom dollar Wise County would never go wet. Good thing he never took that bet! The times they are a-changin'.

OK, Something Weird Is Going On

I previously mentioned meeting a long lost relative recently. In just the last week I've run into two more! Two aunts I really like but had simply lost touch with over the years. I moved, they moved, we lost contact.  Just want to clear that up real quick if they happen to read The South 40. Don't want them to get confused by my earlier post.

The timing is just really odd.

I can't help but wonder if this is happening for a reason (divine intervention for lack of a better description) or if it's just a very peculiar coincidence. It's really weighing on my mind.

There Is No Joy In Mudville

Work, Work, Work

Hello Boys, I missed you!

Not much to report lately. Just work then straight home. Lather, rinse, repeat. But, I did manage to get a peek at next week's schedule and my boss did me a solid. Normally, I lose my regular 2 days off when I take vacation just because of scheduling requirements. My "weekend" is Monday and Tuesday and we only have X number of supervisors to cover X number of shifts. It happens and is no big deal to me. But this time he tacked my normal days off on the front and the next week's on the end, extending my vacation by 4 days.

Sweet!

I know I'll wind up paying for this in the future when they really need someone, but I do that anyway. I've been covering 2 locations for the last couple of months while we were short handed. Maybe this is a compensation. Who cares? I'm taking it!

I can use the extra time to make final preparations for the trip to TMS. Don't tell anybody but there have been reports of strange lights and odd noises coming from the South40 Skunkworks late at night. There are rumors of a secret weapon being developed incorporating lasers, strobes and high frequency sound waves, but I've said too much.

Boardwalk Empire Resets The Bar

In one single episode Boardwalk Empire has put it's self on level ground with The Sopranos with sex, violence and edge of your seat suspense. Up until now it has been impressive, but not particularly stunning. Things are MUCH different now.

Nucky has turned the Temperance Queen Margaret into his concubine (and she liked it), the boys in Chicago worked out a territorial dispute amongst themselves (and Johnny Torrio liked it), Al Capone was put in his place in front of a crowd (and he didn't like it) and Agent Van Alden reveals a painful private moment (and he REALLY liked that).

I smell Emmys for this episode. If you're not watching Boardwalk Empire, you're missing out on some seriously good stuff.

Quick Sherman, Into The Wayback Machine!

OK, who's in charge of continuity around here?

Excuse Me While I Whip This Out

It's Here Somewhere

Somewhere in my hoarder's nightmare is my old faithful official Texas Rangers hat. But I can't find it.  I still have my "players only" Polo shirt that I got from a Rangers employee when I ran Big Daddy's on Eastchase Parkway. (I used to be Steve Buchelle's personal Wine Consultant). But, I can't find my freaking official team hat!!

I know I put it in with the important stuff when I moved from Hurst back to The South40 way back when, but all the boxes I've searched that haven't already been unpacked long ago are sans Rangers hat.

I'm not a nubie Rangers fan. Just one that has been beaten down over time. I feel a bit like Randy Quaid. Not the "I'm seeking asylum in Canada on the run from Dog The Bounty Hunter" Randy, the "guy in the outfield bleachers in Major League 2" Randy.

Claws and antlers, Baby!

Crossroads

Ran into someone the other day. Actually I've seen them quite often for years but they didn't realize who I was, at least that's what they said. I told them I always knew who they were. What's funny is they acted like everything was cool with us when in fact it hasn't been cool for about, oh let me see... ever.

Thing is, we are related and the family tree ain't got too many leaves left. I know for a fact I'm living on borrowed time. My only reprieve is Heaven won't admit me and Hell is afraid I'll take over.

The Dude abides...

This thing has been really bugging me. Should I let bygones be bygones, bury the hatchet and start fresh or should I remind them why I haven't spoken to them for years? I mean that should have been a clue. I have been trying to take a live and let live approach to this and it's worked swell up until now. Nobody has wound up on Jerry Springer and that's a good thing. Trust me they would book us in a heartbeat. Ratings gold.

I'm suspicious of motive to suddenly reconnect. Maybe I'm all wrong about it. Blood is supposed to be thicker than water. But oil and water don't mix, either. I'm really conflicted.

Sometimes you eat the bear, sometimes the bear eats you. Sometimes the bear mauls you and leaves you to die alone in the wilderness.

I feel like a member of Stillwater flying in a small plane high above Tupelo, Mississippi.

DIY Spaceflight

Weather balloon + iPhone = Awesome

How To Win Friends And Influence People

I had to run some errands yesterday and decided to make the dreaded Walmart stop while I was out. I wanted to grab some stuff for the new RV, mainly an HDTV and a DVD player. I didn't have a lot of time to waste because I had people coming to look at my old RV.

I surveyed the surprisingly good selection and found a 32inch Phillips that was a perfect fit in the space I had planned. I also grabbed a Sony Blu-Ray player. Of course I had to find someone with keys to get the TV for me. I went to the cashier and asked her. She called the Department head honcho over. He unlocked the cage and loaded the TV in my cart. When we got to the department check-out he made the cashier move and took over the register. He rang everything up, made the obligatory service contract sales pitches (which I declined) and the total came to almost $500 tax and all. Ouch.

I still had to get some gas because The Goat was almost empty and asked if he could load my gas card there or if I needed to go to a front register. He assured me he could do it right there. In a movie this scene is the one they would freeze frame and subtitle "This is where it all went incredibly wrong".

He couldn't figure out how to do it. Push this, swipe that, key some numbers in, scan the card. Nothing. He tried again and got a similar result. The whole time the cashier is wanting to tell him what he's doing wrong. He even gave up and asked her at one point but then cut her answer off with "Oh, I've got it."

Push this, swipe that, key some numbers in, scan the card... fail. The cashier tried to reach up and hit the right keys and he told her "Don't show me, I want to figure this out."

That's when I spoke up with some classic passive aggressive. "That's cool. It's not like I'm in a hurry or anything. Take your time and let her train you."

Boy, THAT pissed him off royally.

His face turned beet red and he said "Oh, no... no problem" and stomped away without another word across the salesfloor. The young cashier had a stunned look on her face at his reaction. She asked him to come back and he said "Nooo, no. You go right ahead." and kept walking.

She looked at me.

I looked at her and shrugged my shoulders.

She put $50 on my gas card.

They Are Serving Snowcones In Hell

The Texas Rangers have won a post season series!

I have been a naysayer for years because, well, they're the Texas Rangers and they always find a way to screw it up. I remember watching them at Arlington Stadium when I was a kid. I saw David Clyde pitch. I also saw 3 Rangers collide going for a fly ball more than once.

But this is Nolan Ryan's Rangers now and maybe some of his good karma is rubbing off. Cliff Lee is in full blown legitimate greatness mode right now. The team is focused and more importantly they are having fun. They are playing baseball.

I feel like Randy Quaid in Major League 2 and Wild Thing has just walked on the field.

BTW, if you are thinking about getting tickets to the ALCS prices range from $60 to $175. World Series Game 4 tickets in Arlington (possible Cinderella story event) start at $430. There were 2 Third Base tickets left for $9,000 each when I last checked.

Claws and antlers, Baby!

What The Hell Is Happening To My Body? or I Really Need A Joint!

I woke up yesterday and thought I had just finished a scrimmage with Ladanian Tomlinson. My legs were killing me! If I didn't know better I'd think Josh Hamilton took batting practice on my kneecaps. (Have I worked in enough local sports references yet?).

All kidding aside my legs really fraking hurt, knees especially. I haven't done anything especially stressful or banged them on anything. Just woke up and it was a surprise party of pain. Oh joy!

I thought walking around at work would limber me up, but instead it just got worse. By the end of the night I was a full blown gimp. I'm going to have to get me some Glucoseamine and do it quick. That stuff is like WD-40.

I Hate Chain Letters

But, I'm just superstitious enough to play along...

Well We're Moving On Up!

From this...

to THIS!

I've been toying with the idea of getting a bigger/newer RV to take to the races at Texas Motor Speedway. My current RV is a '78 Holiday Rambler and I love it to death. The old girl has character and fits in like a glove at the campgrounds. But, it has it's drawbacks. The main one being it's 32 years old and has a face only a Mother or Deer Hunter could love.

I thought about buying a FEMA trailer at an auction on the cheap, but I couldn't seem to find one I liked that I could pull with my 1/2 ton pickup. But, I've been wearing out Craigslist (sorry Silicone Alley, no kinky ads) looking at used campers. A little over a week ago I did a search for campers under $4,000. One of the results was a 1990 Itasca Sunflyer in Decatur. I sent them an e-mail and found out it wasn't actually in Decatur, it was about 2 miles from The South 40. Unfortunately, someone had already put down a deposit.

Normally I would have lost my temper and blown it off, but instead I sent a polite reply saying I wished no bad luck, but keep me in mind if it falls thru. Well guess what? I got an email Tuesday morning saying the deal did fall thru and to come by and have a look.

I recruited BIL to tag along and help me give it a good once over. I needed someone there to keep me from buying it without noticing all the things that were wrong with it. Honestly, after we got there I was afraid he might try to outbid me once he saw it! The thing is in immaculate condition. The owners had taken extremely good care of it. The batteries and tires were brand new, the interior was perfect and the only flaw was a cranky refrigerator.

It has an identical interior to a Prevost that belongs to someone I know and they paid over $80,000 when they bought it 10 years ago. It's an exact duplicate! Same layout, same floor plan, same color scheme, same material, same chairs. There were no worn spots on the upholstery or carpet. The only difference is the Prevost had a central vacuum system and an ice maker, this doesn't. Also the Prevost was a CAT diesel pusher and this has a 454 Chevy.

We gave it a quick test drive thru The Limestone Capitol and all went well. I wrote the guy a check and drove away!

It ran great! BIL even bragged that it drove much better than one he had been looking at that cost a WHOLE lot more.

I have a feeling things are going to be much more comfortable at TMS next month! Now I just need to find a Weezy Cute Little Racegirl to go camping with.

Smarter Than The Average Bear

Test your political savvy. No guessing or Googling!

South40 Slim is BACK!

After an extended layoff, I've started playing online poker again. First let me say I don't play real money over the internet. I may have been born at night while falling off of a turnip truck, but it wasn't last night.

I like playing tournament Texas Hold 'em on Full Tilt Poker. If you can get past the 1st and 2nd hand fools going All In on the deal, you stand a better than fair chance of finding some good poker to be played after a few hands.

In the last 2 days I've won 2 250 player tournaments and come in 2nd in another. There were also 3 or 4 other tournaments where I got my ass kicked early. But you have to focus on the positive! In those all I lost was my entry fee. That's what I like tournament poker!

I feel a trip to Winstar on the horizon...

Cool, Yet Very Uncool

Check this out, adjustable prescription glasses. No more bifocals. How cool is that?

1 minor drawback, they come in 1 style and 1 style only. Very uncool.

Yeah, I want to look like Captain Nerdo.

KVW: Karaoke Video of the Week

Confessions of a Dangerous Mind

Let me just say I am digging this weather! Unfortunately, we usually have about 30 seconds of spring and fall around here before it goes from one extreme to the other, so you really have to appreciate it while you've got it.

One of the advantages of living on the edge of civilization is I can sleep with the windows open and enjoy the cool night breeze. Of course I usually wake up stopped up tighter than a drum and can barely breathe enough to crawl to the econo size bottle of Claratin in the medicine cabinet, but damn it it's worth the hassle.

It reminds me of when I was a little kid and would go stay at my grandparents house. There was no such thing as central heat and air. There were Dearborne gas heaters when it was cold and windows when it was hot. When it was really hot you made a pallet and slept on the back porch. You pull that stunt today and they would have CPS kicking your door down. Oddly enough, humans actually survived under such primitive living conditions back then and did so quite well.

Anyway for the next few nights it will be prime sleeping weather.

While searching for something to shnazz this post up a bit I ran across this gem and it gave me an idea for a new feature. Karaoke Vid of the Week. Think about it, this has some serious Tosh.0 potential, or Gong Show at the very least. (Get the Chuck Barris theme now?) You never know what kind of performance you'll get. I'm telling you America's got talent! Wait, that's a Simon Cowell reference... anyway I'm giving it a trial run and see what happens.

Here's Contestant #1:

Opulence?

I has it!

Yesterday was a good day. No... a very good day for The South 40. We entered a long awaited and predicted era, signing a new mineral exploration lease and production contract.

My Grandfather once told me "Boy... someday they will come in here and go deep, real deep". That day has come to pass some 40+ years after the wisest and most respected man I ever knew spoke those words to me. 

In the next 30 days or so, a new well will begin drilling on The South 40 searching to exploit the Barnett Shale. Since I own the surface along with the mineral rights it's a win/win deal.

To be quite honest, for some reason I feel a bit like Hud Bannon right now, but without all the guilt. Maybe I should adopt more of a Jett Rink'ish attitude. 

It would be appropriate given the situation.

That's EYE-gore!

I have a lot of friends around the world and Mother Nature seems to dislike some of them. Remember the guy in Iceland that lives on the edge of an active volcano?

Well, I have another that lives in Bermuda. He's hunkering down for 40+ hours of Hurricane Igor tap dancing thru his back garden.. At one point Igor had sustained winds of over 140mph and was a Cat 4, but has weakened to a Cat 1.

The line is the projected storm path. The dot is his house.

Good Eats

I had planned to have Marie Callendar's lasagna for supper tonight after work. But I learned the new mexican restaurant opened in Chico. Heaven forbid that I not to support a struggling new business.

Trust me, they won't be struggling for long. Julio's is located on the Chico square in the old firehouse. I'm told it's run by part of the famed Casa Torres family in Decatur. If the food is any indicator, they are indeed. Absolutely delicious, fast and inexpensive. For their first week they really had their act together and they were busy.

I had the #14 Combo enchilada dinner. Yummmm!

They are open Monday thru Saturday til 9. I'll update with more info.

In other news from The Limestone Capitol of Texas, I'm told the Deputy Sheriff has taken to riding a tricked out bicycle around town writing tickets. That's either the stupidest thing I've ever heard or I'm having flashbacks to The Andy Griffith Show when Barney got a motorcycle.

But don't let Checkpoint Chickie keep you from enjoying the great food at Julio's!

I Owe My Soul To The Company Store

Ah, the dreaded call from the Bossman on my day off. "What are you doing?" is not what I want to hear.

Luckily, it's only a 1/2 shift I have to cover.

And Now, Tech Corner!

Let's Rodeo!

Don't miss all the action at the 54th annual Wise County Sheriff's Posse Rodeo this weekend! This is the main fundraiser for the WCSP which sponsors the Wise County Youth Fair, Wise County Youth Rodeo and other youth events.

There will also be a parade on the square in Decatur Saturday morning at 11am. Yours truly will once again be the MC. So there's always a chance I might start channeling Jan Brewer and have a live meltdown/panic attack on stage. Can't miss entertainment right there!

C'mon down and bring the whole family for some fun and excitement.

Got Marshmallows?

From The AP:

SAN BRUNO, Calif. (AP) — A massive fire burned homes as it roared through a mostly residential neighborhood in the hills south of San Francisco following a loud explosion that shot a fireball more than 1,000 feet into the air and sent frightened residents fleeing for safety Thursday.

A local fire chief said a gas line explosion likely caused the blast that sent flames tearing through the streets, incinerating possibly more than a dozen homes just after 6 p.m.

Pacific Gas and Electric Co. officials said in an e-mailed statement that the ruptured gas line was theirs, although they cautioned that the cause of the blast has yet to be determined.

Unofficial damage so far: 53 houses destroyed, 120 houses damaged, 1 dead.

How I Spent My Mini-Vacation

Sigh... My little mini-vacation (2 days + 2 regular days off) is over. I rarely have a weekend off so I was really looking forward to this. Unfortunately, I didn't accomplish 1 thing I had planned, like having a nice grilled dove dinner. In fact I didn't see a single bird before it started raining.

But I did manage to spend a whole buttload (is that 1 word or 2? Spellchecker was no help at all) of money I didn't plan on. Hunting license, shells, new grill, ect., and all I had for dinner was hamburgers. I also spend some unexpected cash for repairs on my Minitruck. The battery decided this was the time to give out. What I thought would be a quick and easy $30-$40 repair turned into a slow and tedious $100 repair.

I thought a motorcycle or lawn mower battery would be used for a replacement (it's a tiny 3 cylinder engine), it wound up taking a car battery. Motorcycle and mower batteries have the wrong type of terminal. I get back home, remove the old battery and discover that the top posts are about 1/3 smaller than the replacement battery. So I dig out the vise-grip pliers and start grinding away at the lead posts. Problem was I got really good at it, ground off too much lead and one of the posts is now too small (insert Fred Flintstone grumbling rant here). After inserting several of the larger lead slivers that had been ground off, I managed to fill the gap well enough to get a firm grip between cable and battery.

Did I mention the truck was sitting in the middle of the field and it was raining the whole time I was doing this?

Deep Thoughts

• What would Don Draper do?
• What would Jesus do?
• What would Anthony Bourdain do?
• What would Jay & Silent Bob do?

Headless Body Found In Arizona

And it's running for election!

DVR Alert!

This is one of my personal favorite films. There were films 2 done about the true story of U.S, athlete Steve Prefontaine. The other was a big budget version titled Without Limits starring Billy Crudup and Donald Sutherland. Prefontaine is definitely the better of the two.

In Prefontaine,  R. Lee Ermey plays legendary Oregon Coach and Nike founder Bill Bowerman and Jared Leto portrays the dominating distance runner from Oregon that shattered records thru sheer willpower and just missed out on a medal during the tragic Munich Olympics. But thru defeat he rallied to redefine the rules for American amateur athletes and their sanctioning bodies to level the playing field. While Pre's opponents were living a King's life with all it's comforts, he was surviving off Food Stamps and tending bar to afford hot dogs for supper while living in a trailerpark just to maintain his amateur status and ability to compete.

Excellent flick!

Playing on Showtime Extra DTV 549 7:30am Monday morning. Set your DVR and sit the whole family down to watch this one.

Pre! Pre! Pre!

World's... Worst... Blogger

Ok, I know I've been bad and I won't make any excuses for it. But on the positive side, my Aces High score is in the Top 25%. Now, if I could just parlay that into an income...

Speaking of income, I finally signed papers with Devon. Looks like there will be an addition to the royalty check in a few months. I was really hesitant to sign and could have buggered the whole deal. I can get along just fine without it and there is a certain person it would keep from getting a nickle. But there were also people involved that I didn't hate (proper use of the term) and I thought "why drag them into my misery?". My kharma rules won that decision. But man what a classic dish of revenge served cold that could have been! One big factor that swayed my decision was the well and the field will be named after my Grandfather. Couldn't let that opportunity slip away.

Note to Barnacle: How much is that lot across the street? I might be able to make an offer soon.

Meghan McCain has a new book out that I'm definitely going to read. I've been impressed with her for quite a while now. I believe what she says is far more honest than the average Republican bear. Reminds me of her father pre-2000 and gives me hope for what the GOP might eventually become if they don't run all the good ones off..

This is the opening weekend of Dove season in North Texas and I'm taking a few days of well deserved vacation and aggression therapy. You'd be surprised what a couple days of beer, guns and BBQ can do for the soul.

My personal favorite method of cooking dove breast is marinate in Italian salad dressing (is there anything you CAN'T use that on?), insert slices of sweet onion and jalapeño, wrap in bacon then drizzle with fresh lime juice and grill to taste. You can thank me later...

The weather forecast looks good for hunting. A cold front is expected to move in this week and drive the temperature down. That should put the birds on the move and in search of food. I hope that holds out. If so, between my place and BIL's, we should be able to come up with enough birds for a decent cookout. So Far I haven't seen a single dove.

I learned a few former co-workers at my old job have either transferred or given notice due to inability to work with management. Hate to see them leave, they were good workers and good people. I'm positive they will move onto more successful and lucrative positions elsewhere. But, maybe now they finally understand why I transferred the hell outa there first chance I had and did so with no regrets. I'd say more, but it goes against my credo of "separation of work and blog".

Of course that only holds true until they finally piss me off enough to open my biiiggg mouth!

Webb, Ryan Webb... International Man of Mystery

Err, I mean Mitchell, Joshua Mitchell.

From The Denton Record-Chronicle:

An alert Denton police sergeant recognized a pickup he had seen in an intelligence bulletin and investigated, starting an encounter that resulted in the arrest of a man on numerous charges that involved fraud, endangering a child and failure to identify as a fugitive.

Police said more charges are possible relating to explosives and impersonation of a federal officer.

The suspect, however, says he actually is an international intelligence agent working undercover under an alias, and he has 25 badges to prove it.

Joshua Mitchell, 35, also known as Ryan Webb, remained Wednesday afternoon in city jail in lieu of $60,550 bail. He is being held without bail on a charge out of North Carolina.

His girlfriend, Rachael Sheridan, is in Denton County Jail on two counts of endangering a child. Her bail was set at $50,000.

Police said two sergeants were leaving a restaurant parking lot at 12:18 a.m. Tuesday when one of them noticed a pickup pulling into the parking lot. The truck had an unusual vanity plate that he remembered, as well as the description. He radioed other officers to give him more information from the bulletin.

He learned that a man associated with the truck was wanted on theft charges, believed to be impersonating a federal officer and was believed to be armed, the report states.

A woman was driving the truck; the passenger exited and began walking toward the officers and asking about a good hotel to spend the night in. Believing the man was armed, they detained him.

They found a peace officer’s badge, a handcuffs key and a spring-loaded knife in his clothing, according to a police report.

The man gave his name as Ryan Webb, and he claimed to have no identification. But police found a counterfeit Arizona driver’s license in his boot, the report states. They found warrants out of Plano and Garland for Webb.

The woman said she knew the man as Ryan Webb and she believed he was a federal agent. Two little girls, ages 6 years and 8 months, were in the back seat. The woman said they belonged to her and the youngest was Webb’s child.

Meanwhile, an officer responding to assist the two sergeants looked through the truck’s windshield and reported he could see the butt of a pistol sticking out from under the passenger seat.

Officers began a search of the truck. They found two pistols, a blasting cap, two laptop computers and a large number of motel key cards and old credit cards, the report states. They also found a card reader that could be used to steal information from credit cards.

Police found 25 badges with “International Intelligence Agency” imprinted on them and an Orange County Sheriff’s Office badge with the name “Joshua Steven Mitchell” on it along with numerous plastic badge holders, handcuffs and identification cards.

Officers discovered that Joshua Mitchell had outstanding warrants out of Collin County and North Carolina.

Police called city fire marshals to further investigate the explosives. The fire marshals found components for making a hand grenade in the bed of the truck, according to the report, and called the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives to help investigate. That investigation is ongoing and federal explosives charges could be forthcoming.

Officers charged the woman with two counts of endangering a child because the children were riding in the pickup with the explosives and weapons.

They charged Mitchell with two counts of endangering a child, fraud, possession of stolen identifying information and failure to identify as a fugitive from justice. Mitchell is wanted in North Carolina on a probation violation.

In an interview, Mitchell said he would explain everything, but he is not authorized by the agency to talk about it. He said he was recruited by “a group of individuals” who contract with a federal agency to do good.

He said that the credit cards, card reader and other paraphernalia were used in an identity theft sting operation. He recently participated on a task force that resulted in arrests in a prostitution ring, he said.

He was paid for his services until recently, he said, and he blames President Obama for the funds drying up.

He denied having components for a grenade.

“Anything can have a negative spin,” he said. “Let’s be frank. It’s an asinine charge.”

He said he planned to use the explosive components to build a model rocket with the 6-year-old girl. He’s an experimenter, he said. “Who knows what I might discover?”

He said he owns a company that is involved in the production of robotics. He had hoped to find that sort of work in Denton. He just approached the officers for advice on a motel, he said, and they held him at gunpoint and arrested his common-law wife.

He planned to find and rent a place to live on Wednesday, he said. The 6-year-old’s mother home-schools her, he said.

Police said they found very little cash in the couple’s belongings with which to rent anything.

Mitchell talked to the press, he explained, to try to expose the injustice he was undergoing and to help his wife.

“If I look like the badass, they’ll let the sweet and innocent go,” he said.

He sat under guard during the interview in handcuffs and leg shackles. He shook his head when asked if he thought his agency would rescue him from his predicament.

“I’m beginning to wonder,” Mitchell said.

OK, No More Shakespeare References

Either I don't understand them or it's going over people's heads. Either way, not good. It could possibly have something to do with the severe lack of reading Shakespeare on my part. I think the only bits of his work I've seen are Romeo & Juliet and the scene from Renaissance Man where Danny DeVitto takes his students to see Henry V.

Of course that doesn't include the numerous modernized remakes of his works. They don't really count. But the best of those has to be Moonlighting's Taming of the Shrew episode.

While we're on the subject of movies (we are, aren't we? If not, we are now...) I finally saw Quentin Tarentino's Inglorious Basterds. Wow, what an excellent film! Chapter 4, "Operation Kino" may be the best stuff he's ever written.

Michael Fassbender absolutely nails the role of Lt. Archie Hicox. All I could think of while watching was "a young Sean Connery."

Alas poor Yorick, I knew him well.

Ain't karma a bitch? 

I finally decide to do something constructive and redesign El Bloggo Grande. In the process I cut loose links to a few blogs that have gone underground from the bandworthy list.

Judge not, lest ye be judged. What goes around, comes around Brotha.

The Grand Poobah has undergone a makeover and in the process The South 40 has gone the way of Jessica Simpson's unwanted tummy fat to a Plano plastic surgeon's GutSucker 5000.

Paging Dr.Bombay!

AFP: South Asian 'superbug' spreads to Australia

A drug-resistant "superbug" has infected three Australians who travelled to India, an expert said on Friday, reinforcing fears it could spread worldwide after hitting dozens of people from Britain.

Professor Peter Collignon, Canberra Hospital's head of infectious diseases department, said the cases -- including one patient who had plastic surgery in Mumbai -- were just the "tip of the iceberg".

"There may well be more because it's difficult to pick up this particular gene unless you've got sophisticated testing," Collignon told AFP.

British scientists sparked an angry response from India when they said "medical tourists" to the sub-continent were among 37 people who were found to be carrying bacteria with the New Delhi metallo-lactamase-1 (NDM-1) gene.

"We strongly refute the naming of the enzyme... and also refute that hospitals in India are not safe for treatment including medical tourism," the Indian health ministry said in a statement.

The gene was identified last year in bacteria carried by a Swedish patient admitted to hospital in India.

The gene, which is found in a number of different bacteria, produces an enzyme that renders even very strong, last resort antibiotics ineffective in combating the bacteria.

Collignon said he treated one of Australia's three cases in Canberra, while there was one each in the eastern states of New South Wales and Queensland.

"We found this multi-resistant, untreatable bug in their urine, luckily not causing too many problems to that person. But it's a real problem if it spreads to others," he said.

"The germ we had was untreatable -- there were no drugs we had that could treat it," he added.

Collignon said his patient caught the bug in intensive care in an Indian hospital after plastic surgery went wrong. But he said one of the three picked up their bug in the general community, indicating the extent of the problem.

Don't worry Baby. I'll protect you.

"As soon as we got here and I saw where we were sitting, I said 'Baby, we're going to get hit,'" the woman said when interviewed during the game. "He said, 'No, I'll catch it if you do. We just had this conversation and sure enough, the ball comes at me. He just bailed."


From MLB.com

What, No Video?

I know I've ventured off that slippery slope of posting videos. How much is too much? Like Professor Owl once wisely said, "the world may never know". But trust me if there was ever a video I'd post in a heartbeat, it's the one of Jet Blue flight attendant Steven Slater having the mother of all meltdowns.

It seems our Steven got into an arguement with a passenger over unloading baggage from the overhead bin before the Embraer 190 reached the gate. In the process he was "accidentally" struck in the head with the luggage and demanded an apology from the passenger. After the passenger refused to apologize and cursed him, Slater marched away, grabbed the PA and gave the old "F me? No, F you pal! Buh-Bye!" retort. He then grabbed a couple frosty cold beers from the beverage cart and pulled the emergency exit.

Unconfirmed reports say he did a flawless Triple Lindy down the inflatable slide followed by a quadruple toe loop and stuck the landing on the passing AirTrain. He then stripped off his company issued tie and threw it in the air reminiscent of Mary Tyler Moore.

He was later arrested in his Queens home charged with criminal trespass, criminal mischief and reckless endangerment.

When asked where he was being taken, police said jail. "It's a big grey building with bars, barbed wire and lot's of lonely, sweaty men."

And Now A Brief Word From Our Sponsor

I've never owned a pair of K-Swiss shoes, but I might have to run out and get a pair now. They have signed the greatest pro athlete in the history of professional athleticism as their new spokesman. Kenny F'n Powers!

Eastbound and Down creater/writer/star Danny McBride has actually signed a deal to make washed up, steroid abusing, drug addicted, foul mouthed, alcoholic, former big league pitcher and legend in his own mind Kenny Powers the new spokesman for K-Swiss Tubes.

If you've never heard of Kenny, you're missing out. Eastbound and Down made a short 6 episode run on HBO in February 2009 and quickly became a cult classic. Fans have been anxiously waiting for Season 2 which will finally debut September 26th.

In the meantime we can get our Kenny fix thru reruns on HBO and this new series of viral commercials that are floating across the internet and coming soon to theaters. If you want to see the behind the scenes contract negotiations, you can watch them HERE. (Extreme language and content warnings, but funny as hell!)

Screw Mythbusters, They Tried This At Home

MooMoo down! I repeat, MooMoo down!!!

My favorite comment:
WARNINGS ON USE OF MINI-CANNON: small parts-not for children under 3, not for use in an orchestra, do not attempt to shrink yourself and shoot yourself out of cannon, not for use on warfront, do not combine with fireworks, do not use as sled or floatation device, not to be used for suicide or murder, do not shoot at dogs even if they bark all the time, not to be used for abuse of sea monkies.


Reminds me of stuff I used to invent while stuck in Bosun's Locker in the Coast Guard.

B-29 Returns To The Skies

I wish I had the weekend off. I would so be taking a roadtrip to Midland!

From commemorativeairforce.org :

The world’s only flyable Boeing B-29 Superfortress returned to the skies early Thursday morning for its first flight since 2004.

In 1971 a pilot reported seeing what might have been B-29's in the California desert near China Lake. The CAF learned the aircraft were indeed Superfortresses that had been parked at a Navy weapons center for 17 years. They had been used for gunnery targets and abused by heat, sand and vandals. After much negotiation, paperwork and a painstaking process of elimination to find the best survivor, the CAF added B-29 SN44-62070 to its fleet. That was just the beginning of the task. The complete restoration to CAF standards of airworthiness was a long and expensive project involving more than three years of fund-raising and hard work. Late in 1974, the CAF's B-29 was christened FIFI and joined the other World War II fighters and bombers to preserve the memories and teach lessons of mankind's greatest war.

The CAF AirPower Museum will open it's doors at 7am on Sat. Aug. 7, for visitors who would like to get a front row seat for FIFI’s pre-flight preparations and flight. Visitors to the museum will be ushered to the main hangar for an up-close view of the crew preparing this massive bomber for flight. Once FIFI begins to head for the runways, visitors will be escorted to a prime viewing area, to witness the B-29’s crew training.

“Saturday is the perfect opportunity for our community to come out to the CAF and see FIFI fly,” said CAF President Stephan Brown. “Throughout the morning, the B-29 crew will be completing the required crew training that includes ‘touch and gos’ at MidlandInternationalAirport, it will be quite a show.”

The CAFAirpowerMuseum is located at 9600 Wright Drive near MidlandInternationalAirport. Admission to the museum is $10 for adults ages 18-64, $9 for teenagers ages 13-17 and seniors age 65 and older, $7 for children ages 6-12, and children age 5 and under receive free admission. The CAF would like to encourage visitors to take Interstate 20 or Highway 80 (Business Interstate 20) to FM 1788. This route will avoid additional traffic congestion for Rock the Desert also being held in the area.

Faster, Fatter, Bigger, Cheaper

Be prepared for your eyes to be yanked wide open after watching Food, Inc on PBS. 

From free range chickens to your Super Sonic w/ cheese, this film covers the ugly truth behind what it takes to get from the barnyard to the dinner table via your wallet and that all important corporate profit margin.

I've covered this before, but it's getting an encore presentation on KERA tonight, then Thursday at 3am, Saturday at 3am and Sunday at 3am. Set your DVR!

You need to watch this film even if you don't want to know where your "food" really comes from.

So what if feeding cattle grass for a few days kills e-coli? Chemical washing the raw beef is less effective but more cost efficient, plus it fits into "the system". How do you like the ammonia in your BigMac? Can they add smoke flavoring while they're at it?

It's not just beef. Ever heard of Monsanto?

Watch, learn, be amazed.

Boardwalk Empire

This may be the most anticipated series in the history of television. Unquestionably, it's the most anticipated in HBO's. And that says a LOT.

It's 1920 and the social experiment of prohibition has taken effect. The field of illegal libations is wide open to the most ambitious. Welcome to Atlantic City and the dawn of the gangster era based on Nelson Johnson's book.

Boardwalk Empire is written/created by Terrence Winter (The Sopranos), produced/directed by Martin Scorsese (do I have to tell you?), and stars Steve Buscemi as as Atlantic City Treasurer Enoch "Nucky" Thompson.

This series has the potential to make ratings and critical history. The writers have to seriously screw the pooch to make it a failure. But I'm pretty sure you will forget all about Tony and The Sopranos after watching Boardwalk Empire..

These guys were the real f'n deal.

Season premier Sept 9th on HBO. Set your DVR's, cattle attacks withstanding.

Preview Trailer #4

Ghosts of World War II

Fantastic work by Russian photographer Sergey Larenkov. Taking old pictures from WWII and photoshopping them with photos of present day.

"Not only do we get to experience places like Berlin, Prague, and Vienna in ways we could have never imagined, more importantly, we are able to appreciate our shared history in a whole new and unbelievably meaningful way."

Lake Bridgeport Gets Some Good Press

I missed this when it came out in the Saturday edition of the Startlegram.

Good review of Lake Bridgeport by Art Chapman. He does bring up some good points, especially about the lack of commercial development.

There's a huge tourism/recreation market being ignored.

Maybe we need a floating Hamburger Benny's. Anyone remember that?

It's No Ickey Shuffle

Crazy TD celebration by Dave Stala of the Hamilton Tigercats in the Canuckian Football League.

It's Not As Bad As "A Dog Ate My Homework"

But it's close. A cow broke my DVR.

I hurried home from work last night, grabbed a frosty cold barley based beverage and plopped down in the recliner to watch the NASCAR race from Pocono that I recorded Sunday. That's when I discovered I had a minor problem. No signal from the satellite. At first I thought DirecTv had cut me off, but I checked my receiver in the computer room and it was working fine. So armed with flashlight in hand (and strapped to my forehead... those things are great), I wander off into the night to check the dish. Sure enough I find the electric fence down and one of the cables ripped out of the dish by a stray cow that managed to get her leg hung in the slack.

Lovely. Oh well, I pay extra each month for a maintenance service to cover just such unexpected events so I call DirecTv. Turns out that random acts of bovine satellite vandalism are not covered by the plan. But for a nominal fee of $50 they will be glad to schedule me a repair appointment.

Is this like flood insurance? Is there a seperate insurance program to cover vandalism by heifers that my regular insurance doesn't? Because I need me some of that.