DVR Alert

TCM's 31 Days of Oscar has some DO NOT MISS movies coming up this weekend. It's some of the very best patriotic and inspirational war films from Hollywood's Golden Era starting this afternoon at 4:30 with Gary Cooper in Sergeant York. The true story of Sgt. Alvin York, a pacifist from Tennessee that won the Congressional Medla Of Honor in WWI.

Then 7:30 Saturday morning 30 Seconds Over Tokyo with Van Johnson. Later 3 of my personal "Top 10". From Here To Eternity, They Were Expendable and Destination Tokyo.

From Here To Eternety is a masterpiece featuring the talent of Burt Lancaster, Montgomery Clift and a strong supporting cast featuring Ernest Borgnine and Frank Sinatra. Debra Kerr and Donna Reed turn in very racy performances for the times. Those times happen to be the days leading up to Pearl Harbor.

They Were Expendable is a marvelous movie starring Robert Montgomery and John Wayne. It is an inspiring tale that follows a PT Boat Squadron stationed in the Philippines during early WWII. The film started production under the direction of John Ford. But Ford fell ill and handed off his duties to an untested Robert Montgomery. John Ford had confidence in Montgomery. Robert was a Navy Reserve Officer and a talented actor. He understood the technical aspects of the film and the importance of getting the story told to the American public. He did not disappoint in his performance in front of and behind the camera. This may be my favorite film.

Destination Tokyo stars Van Johnson and Robert Walker as crew members of "The Ruptured Duck", a B-25 Mitchell bomber in Doolittle's Tokyo Raid. Spencer Tracy plays Lt.Col. Jimmy Doolittle in this film that follows the crew from secret training to crash landing on the China coast. Van Johnson turns in an unforgettable gut wrenching performance as Ted Lawson, pilot of the ill fated crew.

Destination Tokyo takes you into battle with Cary Grant and John Garfield aboard a US submarine that sneaks into Tokyo Bay on a spy mission laying the crucial groundwork for Doolittle's Raid and then has to fight their way back home.

But wait, there's more!

TCM also has Torpedo Run with Glenn Ford and Ernest Borgnine, followed by Bombardier with Pat O'Brien and Randolph Scott. In all over 18 hours of Oscar winning war films. In between TCM has Raintree County, The Alamo, The Graduate and Gone With The Wind.

WOW! That's a pretty impressive weekend lineup for any network, and it's all uncut and commercial free.

That's Just WRONG!

Has anyone seen the new Boost Mobile commercial?
The girl has armpit hair 3 feet wrong...err long.

I am permanently scarred after watching that. Thank God I have AT&T!

It's Alive!

I don't know how much Barry spent on that Master Cleanse diet, but I could have saved him some time and money. Just try the Double Patty Melt from Sonic in Bridgeport!

It literally kicked my ass the last 3 days. Fortunately I spent my last day of 2008 vacation and took Sunday off to watch Daytona so I would have a 3 day weekend. I barely rose from bed for about 48 hours. Last night I got brave and tried some Chicken Noodle soup. That seemed to go pretty well, but I'm still far from 100%.

Baby steps...

Kenseth Wins!

Matt Kenseth won the rain shortened Daytona 500. "The Big One" did not happen in Turn 4, but on the Superstretch as Dale Jr caused a massive pile-up after he punted Brian Vickers out of the way. Jr had been making mental mistakes all day and this was the icing on the cake. The only reason he was not penalized is because he's Dale Jr. An identical move in the Nationwide Series race yesterday got Jason Leffler parked for 5 laps.

I'd do a more detailed race recap, but I'm barely able to sit here and type. The Double Patty Melt I ate for dinner last night at Sonic in Bridgeport has had me in bed all day except for several rapid trips to the bathroom. It was either that or the non-stop barrage of "Digger Cam".

Not exactly how I had planned on spending my last day of vacation.

NASCAR Camping World Truck Series

The NASCAR trucks got their season underway in spectacular fashion. The new series title sponsor Camping World should be very pleased with the results. Todd Bodine won the NextEra Energy Resources 250 in dramatic fashion narrowly defeating Kyle Busch at Daytona International Speedway. Rowdy's tires gave out on the last lap and it was all he could do to keep from wrecking and save a 2nd place finish as Bodine became the Truck Series first 2-time Daytona winner.

Speaking of wrecks, Brent Reimer took one of the hardest licks I've seen in quite a while when he blew a tire and went almost head-on into the outside wall. His throttle hung on impact and his truck bounced off the wall, headed towards the infield then curved back thru traffic and head-on into the wall again. Fortunately, he was able to walk away. A testament to the safety engineering put into these machines.

SPEED's coverage was excellent. Krista Voda handled the Prerace Setup then handed it off to Rick Allen, Phil Parsons and Michael Waltrip. These guys are a great team and call an exciting race. IMHO, they are second only to to FOX's Mike Joy, Larry McReynolds and Darrel Waltrip.

Todd Bodine won the race in an unsponsored ride. I can't understand why the Truck Series has trouble attracting fans and sponsors. Week in and week out it is the most entertaining of the NASCAR lineup. Seasoned veteran's and young wannabe's. Old age and treachery versus youth and exuberance. These guys battle it out on every single lap. It's definitely worth the price of admission.

We have a NCWTS race coming up at Texas Motor Speedway on April 3rd. If you've never been to a car race and wonder what all hype is about, go check out the NASCAR Camping World Truck Series. Cheap tickets, plenty of thrills and fun for the whole family!

I Demand A Recount!

Polls are closed, all precincts reporting and it's a landslide. OK, I'll take your advice and greenlight this. No promises about posting any details.

A Gentleman doesn't kiss and tell.

A Musical Interlude

The Road Goes On Forever

Times Are Tougher Than We Think

Just finished watching ESPN's NASCAR Now (the monday roundtable edition with Allen Bestwick). There was a story about a couple that couldn't afford their yearly trip to Bristol and was trying to sell their season tickets. Nobody wanted them! They tried eBay and there were over 50 different auctions already up and most of them had no bids. They called ticket brokers and were hung up on. The racetrack had tickets for $20 they were trying to sell.

It's a bad time to be a scalper, nobody wants to buy tickets. I bought season tickets to TMS for the first time this year and was thinking of selling the races I didn't care about or get off work for like IRL. Looks like I'll have to eat them.

Are times really that hard for the rest of the nation? I know you hear doom and gloom everyday on the news, but they are usually fear mongers. Maybe this is the real "Wolf!" cry. We have our own little economic bubble here in the WC and it's seeing some downturn, I've heard of layoffs and slowdowns in the oilfield. But there are still jobs out there. I'm not making the greatest money, but I've got job security. People gotta eat.

Just the other day BrotherInLaw told me someone offered to sell him Bristol tickets and we thought we had struck gold. Who knew? Good thing he didn't buy them yet! The price just went waaaaaay down.

Everybody's Workin' For The Weekend!

Yeah, I know it's Sunday for you, but it's Friday for me. Being on an altered schedule from the rest of the planet has it's ups and downs. More downs than ups to be honest. It puts my social life at less than zero, make ordinary things like taking trash to the dump a pain in the ass (closed Monday & Tuesday), I miss watching most live sporting events (including NASCAR) and I can never make 2nd Monday Trade Days in Bowie. Surprisingly, even tho it's called 2nd Monday it's on Saturday and Sunday.

On the up side, I get to indulge the mediaphile inside me and stay up to watch the best night of original programming on television. Between HBO, Showtime and Cartoon Network's Adult Swim 98% of the shows worth watching are on. Thank God for DVR's and West Coast feeds.

Take tonight for instance. Start out with HBO's Big Love and Flight of the Conchords followed by Showtime's Secret Diary of a Callgirl and United States of Tara. Then a quick flip to Adult Swim for Robot Chicken, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Superjail and Metalocalypse.

The programs change during the year, but they put the best they have to offer out on Sunday nights. Dexter, Entourage, Californication, Weeds, The Venture Brothers, Squidbillies and HBO miniseries are other shows of greatness that call Sunday night home. But hey all have one thing in common. They are the cream of the creative crop that the networks have to offer.

So to recap, while you're going clubbing, watching sports, meeting with friends and having cookouts I'm getting the job done. And when you are waking up to go to work Monday morning, I'm staying up late watching TV then snuggled up like a burrito in my blanket sleeping til Noon.

Like I said, more downs than ups.

The Wait Is Finally Over!

Welcome to Daytona Speed Week 2009! After watching the first practice session I am going way out on a limb and say that "The Big One" will be coming out of Turn 4. I saw almost every car get sideways there today and there were a couple of VERY close calls.

God help me I love this sport! My heart gets pounding like I just ran a marathon (OK, like I ran real fast to the beerfridge and back during the commercial). Bumper to bumper, trading paint 3 wide at over 190 MPH. How can you help but feel the adrenaline rush? I should be behind the wheel!

Allen Bestwick: You've just won the Daytona 500!

Me: Allen, I can't believe it! The Daytona 500! The South40/IGA/DirecTv/Banquet Frozen Dinners/Kool- Aid/Victoria's Secret/Purina Dog Chow Ford Fusion ran great all day! My crew was unbelieveable. They got us spots coming out of the pits and my Crew Chief made that call that was turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Those Goodyear tires really dug in there at the end.

I want to thank my sponsors Bud Light, Sunoco, Burger King, DrPepper, Mrs. Baird's Bread, Microsoft, Viagra, Kleenex, Mobil 1, Johnson's Baby Shampoo, Cheerios, Sham-Wow!, Pier 1 Imports, Lucky Charms, State Farm Insurance, Bell Helicopter, Crisco, Goody's Headache Powder, Reese's Pieces and Elmer's Glue. Gosh, I hope I didn't forget anyone. They are all so important to me and this wonderful team!

See? Tell me I can't do this job... I was born for it.

I remember watching my first live Daytona 500. A huge wreck at the finish between Cale Yarborough and Donnie Allison battling for the win followed by a fistfight. I was hooked for life. It truly is The Great American Race.

This was long before restrictor plates, HANS devices, SAFER barriers, radio communications and the COT (Car Of Tomorrow). The men that drove them were not pretty boy TV stars. They were whiskey runnin', knuckle sandwich throwin', cross the finishline upsidedown at 200MPH with your hair on fire men. The cars they drove were by and large the very same car you could go and buy at your local dealership. True stock cars. Yeah, there was some safety modifications and under the hood, but most of the car was completely stock. That just excited the hell out of me!

Today's cars are all cookie cutter lookalikes. The only difference between them is the brand of engine. But they still have one thing in common with that first race I saw.

1 man, 1 car, 500 miles to the finish.

Here's a quick rundown of the events for Speed Week. A complete detailed look is available here.

Feb 07 - Budweiser Shootout/ ARCA 200

Feb 8 - Daytona 500 Qualifying

Feb 12 - Gatorade Duel at Daytona

Feb 13 - Daytona 250 NASCAR Camping World Truck Series Qualifying

Feb 14 - Camping World 300

Feb 15 - 51st Annual DAYTONA 500

Just about every second of it will be covered by SPEED and ESPN2.

On a sad note, John Daly has pulled the plug on The Daly Planet. It was an oasis in a desert of NASCAR media coverage. JD, I we all will miss your insider's view.

The Dating Game

So, I have been approached for a blind date setup by someone I trust.

Should I go for it?

Your vote may well decide.

The polls are open......

Just Another Lovely Day, Lovely Day, Lovely Day...

I was actually productive yesterday. I finished a long promised project and installed an outside water hydrant at my wellhouse so my BrotherInLaw can fill a water tank for his cattle on my pasture. (We're in the middle of a drought, remember?)

As my luck runs, it wound up backfiring on me.

First, a bit of background. When I moved to The South 40, I built a new wellhouse for my new well. I did a pretty good job, too. It used heavy steel for the frame, lined it with insulation and used 20 year steel for the skin. It was all 3 people could do to move the danged thing off a trailer and over the well. It weighed close to 1000 lbs. The one thing I didn't do was anchor it to withstand 100+ mph wind.

About a year after I did all this a tornado barely (and I DO mean barely) missed my house. I watched my ceiling flex 6 inches and felt my house shake like a 400 lb stripper while I sat back in my recliner with bourbon in hand and contemplated lifes events. It picked up the wellhouse and flung it 185 yards across the pasture before not so gently returning it to Mother Earth. It ripped the door off and twisted the frame somewhat, but remained more or less intact. I loaded it up on a trailer and returned it to the well. Since then I have had to resort to a combination of duct tape and plastic sheeting to keep the door on and my water from freezing. It looks like a Picasso design.

So I peel the layers of plastic and duct tape loose, install the new hydrant and button the thing back up. Job done!

Riiiiight...

This morning I wake up early for my dayshift, jump in the shower and start putting Sinatra to shame. Ol' Blue Eyes was not happy. After a few minutes the water suddenly starts to fizzle out. Naturally, I had just put on my shampoo. I managed to rinse most of it out under the trickle of water that remained. F**K!!!!!

So, I put on my bathrobe and slippers and make my way out to the well in subfreezing temperature. I rip my way thru the cocoon and into the wellhouse. Everything looks fine, except the well ain't working. Ratsafrackinbiggarattin.... I take the pressure switch apart and VIOLA! Fireants have invaded the electrical contacts.

For those unaware, fireants are attracted to electicity. There's a buisness opportunity there somewhere....

So soaking wet, I go to the main breaker on the powerpole and cut it off. I just love dealing with high voltage while wet... I clean the ants out of the switch and turn the power back on. I hear the water pump running and run my freezing ass back into the house to finish my shower.

Problem solved, right? Oh, HELL NO!

Seems the drop in pressure somehow made my water filter decide to stop up. I finished my shower, but under decidedly less than full pressure conditions. I hurried to work, but I was 20 minutes late.

To recap. Yesterday, I tore into the wellhouse, worked on it and resealed it. This morning I tore into the well house, worked on it and resealed it. Today, I could not find a new water filter in Bridgeport after work. So I have to get up early, go to the hardware store then tear my way into the wellhouse to work on it and reseal it again before I go to work tomorrow.

You know, I built a strong well house so I would'nt have to deal with shit like this...

Riding On The Doghouse

My Dad was a trucker. For as far back as I can remember he drove 18-wheelers. That is not a pic of Dad, but it's pretty close to the truck he drove. To say he was Old School is an understatement. Think of Cotton Hill, Hank's Dad on King of the Hill and you'd have a pretty accurate description of my father.

I used to ride with him when I was on vacation (to be honest about it, it was Mom's vacation!). The first trip I can remember taking was in the summer of 1967. I rode with Dad in a '67 WhiteFreightliner cabover. In a cabover the cab sits over the engine. Get it? The hump over the engine in the middle of the cab is called the doghouse. That doghouse became my perch while we crisscrossed the nation.

Actual pic of me on Doghouse.

Long before the days of CB radios I learned how truckers communicated with each other thru a system of hand signs and light flashes. We went from Texas to Maine then back to California. I stayed with my Aunt and Uncle near Bakersfield for a week then loaded back up with Dad and we made our way home to Texas. It was a HUGE adventure and probably is the reason I love travel so much today.

I had to sneak around with Dad because riders were strictly forbidden by the company. In New Jersey, Dad & I were busted at a company terminal while waiting for a load. I was hiding in the sleeper and a 1 hour stop turned into an all day affair. After a couple hours he made me get out of the truck because of the heat. The company officials threw a huge fit when they saw me and told Dad to put me on a bus home or he was fired.

Fortunately, Dad was friends with a couple of Greeks that owned a small truckstop. He dropped me off there and told the company he put me on a bus. I stayed there while he loaded then one of the Greeks drove me from New Jersey to Delaware where we met up with Dad after he was sure nobody followed him. I hid out in the sleeper while Dad drove non-stop all night to get us the hell out of there.

Speaking of driving all night, this was 1967. Little white pills and "West Coast Turnarounds" were cool socially acceptable. Back in the day it was expected for truckers to take speed to get the job done. They wrote songs about it. It was common practice and I saw it all firsthand.

This was long before the Interstate highway system was completed. The roads ran thru towns, not around them. Think "Radiator Springs" from the movie "Cars". I saw backyard America from sea to shining sea and fell in love with it, all while riding on the doghouse.

I also saw the flightline of an Air Force Base, Boston, New York City and The Statue of Liberty, Washington, D.C. , Daytona Beach, New Orleans, Houston, El Paso, Juarez, Tucson, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Bakersfield, San Diego, Tijuana and more. I swam in the Atlantic and the Pacific. I visited a foreign country (twice!), crossed the Mojave Desert, Continental Divide and Mississippi River.

A few months later I started First Grade.

31 Days Of Oscar

The bright spot of basic cable, Turner Classic Movies shines at it's brightest this month with their annual 31 Days of Oscar. Over 200 of the greatest films ever made all shown commercial free, uncut and in their original format. It is required viewing, period.

Every single one of these films earned an Academy Award. They are the best of the best. My only complaint is TCM is not in HD. Why they have yet to switch format, I don't understand.

This week look for It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World, Ben-Hur, The More The Merrier, A Song To Remember, Night and Day, Yankee Doodle Dandy, Lawrence of Arabia, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice, Forbidden Planet, Only Angels Have Wings, Flying Tigers, Strategic Air Command, Dr. Strangelove Or: How I Stopped Worrying and Love The Bomb... OK, ok, I got off on a flying tangent there but they are the best of the best and that's just a few of the films being shown this week! You have an entire month of Oscar winning movies to look forward to.

Just set your TV to TCM and throw away the remote. You'll be a better person for it.

I'm A Pilot!

Tom Cruise, eat your heart out...

A bit of humor from Royal New Zealand Air Force Flight Lieutenant Tim Costley. Their fighter program was disbanded in 2001. Altho there is an outside shot at a partial return to the skies.

More on Tim and how you can help him recover the $35 spent making the video.

The "Big Game" Sunday!

You may have noticed that all the commercials you hear for local establishments throwing a party refer to it as "the big game" or some other nondescript title. It's a freakin' Super Bowl party fer Christ's sake! But a couple of years ago the NFL decided that too many people were making a buck off their product and started enforcing a copyright on the name "Super Bowl". If anyone uses the name "Super Bowl" for their profit the league expects a hefty payment for leaching off their product.

Hey, what do you expect when they are paying guys Millions to run around for an hour?

Now the American public is not stupid... OK, we have our fair share of sheeple when important things are on the line like weapons of mass destruction, but when it comes to meaningless crap like the name of a football party you can't pull the wool over our eyes!

It's time for the uprising that this country has been percolating towards and this is the catalyst! Down with the man! No more PC "Big Game" parties! Say it loud and say it proud, "I'm having a Super Bowl party!"

Damn The Torpedoes, full speed ahead!!

(Damn The Torpedoes ⓒ 1979 Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers, all rights reserved)

Guinn 'Big Boy' Williams

The "Wise County Cowboy". Yep, believe it or not we have had a legitimate movie star from the WC.

Guinn "Big Boy" Williams made over 200 Hollywood films . 200? Really?? He starred along side Jimmy Cagney, John Wayne, Errol Flynn, Pat O'Brien, Humphrey Bogart, Fredric March, Janet Gaynor, Edgar Kennedy, Alan Hale and many more. He was born in Decatur on April 26, 1899.

He was known as the "Babe Ruth of Polo".

SEE!!! I told you we were ripe for polo around here!!!

He was discovered by none other than Will Rogers and started out as a stuntman then worked his way up thru the ranks.

Read his complete bio at IMDB.

Ode To Mickey Hand

Let me tell you how it will be

There's one for you, nineteen for me

'Cause I'm the taxman

Yeah, I'm the taxman

Should five percent appear too small

Be thankful I don't take it all

'Cause I'm the taxman
Yeah, I'm the taxman

(If you drive a car car) I'll tax the street
(If you try to sit sit) I'll tax your seat
(If you get too cold cold) I'll tax the heat
(If you take a walk walk) I'll tax your feet, Taxman!

'Cause I'm the taxman
Yeah, I'm the taxman

Don't ask me what I want it for
(Ah, ah, Mr. Wilson)
If you don't want to pay some more
(Ah, ah, Mr. Heath)

'Cause I'm the taxman
Yeah, I'm the taxman

Now my advise for those who die
(Taxman!)
Declare the pennies on your eyes
(Taxman!)

'Cause I'm the taxman
Yeah, I'm the taxman

And you're working for no one, but me
(Taxman!)

Movie Of The Week: In The Valley Of Elah

Wow! What an amazing and stunning film by Paul Haggis! I'm not sure I'm qualified to comment on this movie that is based on actual events. It is a powerful piece of cinema. (SPOILER ALERT!)

Tommy Lee Jones turns in a predictably impecible performance as an ex-MP investigating the murder of his son just back from Iraq.

Charlize Theron plays a single mom recently promoted from traffic to detective that has yet to earn the respect of her fellow officers. A matter of feet determine who investigates the crime and the locals willingly turn it over to the military. She teams up with Jones and uncovers the disturbing truth behind his son's death after her department blows it off.

This may be the best performance Theron has ever done on film.

A must see.

Irony

I can't make this stuff up.

It Was A Dark and Icestormy Night

Icestormy? Is that even a word? Well, it is now! There's a ton of stuff I need to do tomorrow today but it looks like the weather is going to put the kibosh on that.

I promised BrotherInLaw that I'd put an outside hydrant by the wellhouse so he can fill a watertank for his cattle over here in one of my pastures. The stock tank (that's a pond for you non-locals) is extremely low and muddy. It don't look like that's happening today.

If I was a good blogger (snicker!) I'd dig around and find some data on this drought we are going thru. Personally, I can't remember one this bad since the 70's. That was a doozy. It was so dry we resorted to high explosives.

Dad was friends with an explosives expert at one of the local rock crushers. With a bit of bribery involving a couple half gallons of Jim Beam we were going to attempt to blow open some springs on our property. Early that Sunday morning the explosives guy (we'll call him JB) arrived and we set off into the pasture to do the deed.

There were 3 springs. We got to the first and I was told to start digging it out. I dug down 3-4 feet and then JB put in 2 small charges and lit the fuse. We walked back about 200 ft and waited.

BOOM!

Mud and rocks went flying thru the air. We ran back to find a huge hole slowly filling with water. Success!!! Now on to the next one where we repeated the procedure with the same results. I have failed to tell you that while I was digging, JB and Dad were drinking whiskey. By the time we reached the 3rd one, both JB and Dad were pretty well lit.

This was the big spring. It was still flowing a little bit of water even though it was full of dirt and rock. I dug a hole about twice as deep as the others, JB put in 2 small charges and we trotted back to our safety point.

BOOM!

This time when we returned we found the hole filling fast with clear cold water. We hit the jackpot! Well if 2 small charges did this, just think what 2 large charges would do! JB rigged up 2 large charges tossed them in the pool of water and back we go to the safety point.

KA-BOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!

This time our safety point wasn't very safe. INCOMING! Boulders the size of beach balls were flying thru the air. Small pebbles and bits of mud peppered us like a giant shotgun. A rock the size of your fist barely missed me as I stood there like a deer in the headlights. Holy shee-it!

We ran back to the spring to see the results of our handy work. It wasn't what we expected. Water had been rising over a foot a minute after the first blast. The second blast fixed that. Instead of opening the spring more, it blew the bottom out of it. The water was swirling downward just like a toilet. When the hole emptied out you could hear a large amount of water running underground. I wanted to crawl down into the hole and see if I could locate the source thru the giant crack in the rocks, but Dad wouldn't let me.

We didn't get all the water we were after, but I did learn some valuable lessons:

1. Sometimes, you can have too much of a good thing.
2. Quit while you're ahead.
3. Nitroglycerin and alcohol don't mix.

Cynical Bunch, Ain't We?

Well the polls have closed and the ballots tabulated.

Obama will achive many campaign goals. - 1
Obama will achieve few campaign goals. - 8
Obama will ask McCain if he still wants the job. - 1

At least somebody has a sense of humor!

Skystream 3.7

There was an ad last week and a feature story this week (coincidence or unbiased, groundbreaking journalism? You decide...) in The Mess about a local company selling wind and solar power systems. I'm a firm believer in the concept and product, but from personal experience I wouldn't spend a nickle with the dealer.

I've been planning on buying a Skystream 3.7 for a couple of years now. It's a proven product and I am buying one. I just won't be spending any of those hard earned dollars with a particular asshole when I do.

First impressions are powerful things. BTW, down here in Texas we usually greet new neighbors with "Howdy!" not "Who the fuck are you?"

You never know when that will come back to bite you in the ass, do you?

Thunder Road

Just 26 days to go...

Stranger Things Have Happened

We have a black President. The Arizona Cardinals are in the Super Bowl. To be completely honest, I never thought they would ever sell beer in Decatur either. The world didn't come to an end when that happened, so maybe there is hope on the horizon afterall.

Personally, I'd like to see a more UNITED States of America. I'm really worn down by the hate and discontent coming from the extremists on all sides. You can't please all of the people all of the time. But cain't we just all get along for a while? It's 2009 fer Christ's sake!

I am proposing a political Cease Fire for the next 100 days. Everyone all pull together as a team and get this country back on track. Give him the ball on the 20 and 4 downs. Let's see what he can get done.

We can do this for America.

Life

The Dream:

The Reality:

Life is cruel.

Dreamboat Annie

I caught this concert on DirecTv's 101 several months ago. Now it's playing on Palladia, DTV Ch 332. This is a great retrospective for Heart fans! It is a complete performance of the original album in concert, filled with commentary from the band.

A must see for the serious audiophile.

New To The Worthy List

I stumbled across an excellent blog. While surfing thru links from the comments on the last post I found As The Coconuts Drop by Barnacle. This guy is a hoot! He also has some fantastic photography.

And apparently his wife has a very fine ass.

(Note: There is an adult content warning, but I found nothing objectionable or NSFW)

I'm Getting Itchy Feet

No, I don't need some Absorbine, Jr. I've been in 1 spot for too long. I love to travel. I NEED to travel. It's the main reason I drove a truck for so many years. It's a big world and I can't see enough of it. OK, I've seen all the Arctic Circle I care to! (See your local U.S. Coast Guard recruiter today!)

For the past several years I've been aching to go to Belize. Placencia to be exact, roughly 700 miles south of Cancun, but I've put it off because I don't want to take the trip alone. It's the less inhabited portion of Southern Belize and is one of the last "unspoiled" areas of the world. It's a tropical paradise and was named one of the Top 10 places to retire a few years ago by Maxim. It has the 2nd largest Barrier Reef in the world, they speak english, love Americans, the cost of living is cheeeeeeap and they have a set-up where you can live there TAX FREE if you are over 40. Unfortunately, it has become a hotspot for those very same reasons.

If I don't make the trip this year, odds are I'll miss the unspoiled beauty of mile after mile of white sandy beach and lush, untouched tropical splendor. If I wait any longer it will be wall to wall all-inclusive tourist resorts with their air conditioning, all you can eat buffets and swim up bars filled with scantily clad women from around the world looking for a holiday fling.

Hmmm... let me rethink this a bit...

It's The Simple Things...

I got my new(er) Dodge truck a few months ago. As with all used cars there are issues. So far I only have two. There is a rattle in the driver's side window that bugs the shit out of me and the windshield washer doesn't work.

Today I went proactive on the 2nd. I tore apart the windshield cowling and cleaned all the lines and valves on the washer assembly. Surprisingly, it was easier than I expected for the teardown, only a few plastic retainers and 2 screws. But after tearing it all apart, it still doesn't work. I'm pretty sure the $.98 plastic spray nozzles are plugged with slime. (Always use washer fluid, not tap water!) I tried to unplug the nozzle with a small wire. I tried compressed air. I even took an old toothbrush and fished around, but no go. So I spent the better part of 2 hours accomplishing nothing other than confirming the lines and valves are clean and the nozzles are plugged.

Now all I have to do is run down 2 new spray nozzles. I searched all my usual online parts resources and came up with squat. With my luck it's an OEM only part, they are $20 each and on permanent backorder. (Seriously, use washer fluid!)

All I want to do is wash the rock truck mud off my windshield...

UPDATE: I didn't miss it by much. The part is a Dealer Only OEM part and it IS on backorder. The good news? They are only $15 each, not $20.

PJTP

Don't start going nuts trying to figure it out. Posting Just To Post.

Been pretty dull around The South 40 lately. Not much news to pass along, so I haven't.

I could do a random thoughts post, but that's been done to death.

My sleep patterns are all screwed up, too. Bouts of insomnia followed by hibernation does not a creative writer make.

So you get PJTP.

Polo

I just watched my first polo match ever on ESPN2. It was great and looked hella fun to play! I wonder why it hasn't caught on around here? We have all the key ingredients (good riders and good horses). It looks like a natural fit for Texas.

I suppose there is that "snobby rich folks" stigma to the game, but that's got nothing to do with it being fun to play and watch. It's basically a 4 on 4 soccer game played on horseback with no goalies.

Sound interesting? Here's more info on the game.

Et tu, Brute?

I can't believe it. I extol the greatness of "Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations" time and again here at The South 40. Not just because is it the best travel/food show on TV. But because Tony is by far the coolest, most down to earth host on the air, period. You come for the chow and scenery, you stay for the commentary.

And now this from Liberally Lean...

I mentioned "No Reservations" with Anthony Bourdain a couple of weeks ago and since then someone at the show has sent me two personalized emails thanking me (even mentioned Liberally Lean by name) and asking me to promote the new season.

(Cue the Hitchcock music) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

He didn't even get the name right and he gets personal correspondence? Guess that's karma for taking a potshot at LLLDQ with the sextoy review. Looks like I brought a knife to a gunfight.

If Barry hooks up with a Cute Little Racegirl, I might just go postal.

Oh, don't forget to catch the new season of Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations monday nights on The Travel Channel.

Monday, Monday...

I rented a couple DVD's last night that I have been dying to watch, The Dark Knight and Ironman. TDK was good, but it got a little too cartoonish for me toward the end. Heath Ledger stole the show. His intrepritation of The Joker was riviting. Ironman, on the other hand, was just fantastic from start to finish. I won't do a review, but it was definitely a $1.49 well spent!

Now, I just have to slip and slide to Bridgeport and back to return them. I suddenly remember why I don't rent DVD's.

Our Lady of Blessed Traction, don't fail me now!

Take THAT Liberally Lean!

OK, Barry has pics of plenty of hot chicks. BUT, (and I'm pretty sure about this) he's never linked you to a personal sex toy review by a hot chick!

Ladies, you may want to take notes. Guys, if they ever make one of those that can change a flat tire we've got a problem.

Rockin' Chair New Year's Eve

I've watched Dick Clark from Times Square for as long as I can remember. He is an American icon. But sadly, he's no longer the oldest teenager in America. Since his stroke 4 years ago he's continued to host (albeit in a reduced capacity) Dick Clark's Rockin' New Years Eve. The first year it was a triumph of his spirit to survive hosting the show. Now, it's not.



I really hate to criticize his performance, but in the vernacular of broadasting he's not air quality anymore. It's kinda like Brett Farve. It's past time to hang up the cleats. The mind is eager and willing, but the body can no longer do the job.



Dick, be satisfied with putting the show together and getting it on the air. There's no need for you to be in front of the camera anymore. You've done a helluva job, but your time has past.
Clark... out. Get it?

Channel 8 put on another decent attempt at local programming with their BigD-NYE. Hard to miss the fact that Gordo Keith was relegated from host to 3rd banana behind Pete Delkis and Dale Hansen. Looks like Belo isn't as liberal with the airwaves as they were in years past.

Hey, at least it was local programming!

Footnote: Kellie Pickler, you look like a hoochie with that glitter makeup!

ATTENTION BRIDGEPORT: SKY IS NOT FALLING!

The world is not coming to an end! This is not Y2K! All IGA's will be open all day tomorrow!

You may think I'm being overly dramatic here. That is unless you went to IGA today. KOWABUNGA! The place was a madhouse!

I don't think I'm in danger of revealing any trade secrets here, but history shows New Year's Eve is not a big sales day for grocery stores and we scheduled accordingly. Boy, was that a mistake! We were swamped from the time we opened the doors to the time I made my tactical retreat. We had all the registers open (WalMart could take a lesson on that) and had anyone qualified to run a register working at one.

Today was also the day I make home deliveries so I wasn't able to help out as much as I could have. But trust me, I was multitasking my ass off. Take phone order, pull order, deliver order, RTB (return to base), work customer service window, pull 2 orders at once, pull 3rd order while they check out the other 2, stock shelves, deliver orders, RTB, make bank run, work express register, pull order, deliver, RTB ect,ect,ect.... lather, rinse, repeat.

The highlight of my day came an hour and a half after I should have ended my shift. I stayed around to help out and we ran out of bread. I went to the back brought out fresh bread and started filling the shelves. I had just finished filling the hamburger buns when a lady (and I use the term loosely) walked up and started digging thru the buns. She would pinch then discard a pack of buns and move on to the next. After the 7 or 8th pack, in a very polite tone I said "Ma'am, they're all the same date. I just put them out" in case she thought there were fresher buns on the shelf. She went from 0 to Bitch in .0002 milliseconds.

"I HAVE THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE!!!"

I just said "Yes, Ma'am you do." and she grabbed a pack of buns and walked off. The Butcher was standing next to me and was doing his best not to burst out in laughter. He knew what I wanted to say was "Yes Ma'am you do. But you don't have the right to make a total mess out of the shelf I just finished filling with the freshest bread possible in Wise County and ruin the ones you don't like for everyone else!" But, I didn't. I maintained an even strain and took a fish to the face for the team. Let me tell you, I'm am not paid enough to take the daily ration of abuse I get from some customers. Not nearly enough.

Bridgeport shoppers will be in for a cold dose of reality when Brookshire's opens (if it ever does). You think you hate WalMart? Brookshires is structured just like them. They are a corporate operation, not home owned. You won't be able to pick up the phone and talk to the owner anytime you want. As bad as you may think IGA is, you don't realise the level of personalized customer service we aim for. We really want to give you everything you desire and then some. But we are in Wise County, not the Metroplex. There are certain things we just can't do because of our floor space and location. But dang it, I'll bend over backwards to try and make it happen so my customer will be happy.

Once again, all our stores will be open regular hours New Years Day so no need to panic. There will still be food on the shelves.

So now if you will excuse me there is a big bottle of Maker's Mark bourbon that needs some "customer service".

Happy New Year, ya'll!

Movie of the Week: That Thing You Do!

This is one of my personal Top 10 favorite films. Anytime it is on, it's my default choice. That Thing You Do is a fun, snappy, innocent little 60's romp written, produced and directed by Tom Hanks. It stars Tom Everett Scott, Liv Tyler, Johnathon Schaech, Steve Zahn, Ethan Embry and of course, Tom Hanks. TTYD also has a slew of suppporting characters and cameos played by Peter Scolari, Rita Wilson, Chris Isaak, Kevin Pollak, and many more. It was the birth of his production company PlayTone that is responsable for many quality productions including Band of Brothers and From The Earth To The Moon. I've seen this film a hundred times, but tonight on Encore Love I saw an alternate version I've never seen before.

It was very interesting. You would think that the original, being a pet project of Tom Hanks, would be exactly what Hanks hand in mind for the screen. This "Extended Edition" had greatly expanded characters, back story and music. The story was told in a deeper, more serious tone than the lighthearted "original". There were new camera angles, expanded dialogue, alternate scene takes and song versions. It was a completely different film.

It was very intriguing to see how this story would play out after seeing it countless times before and knowing it by heart. What it turned out to be was a treat. It was like opening your favorite Christmas present again for the first time and finding a brand new, more complex, full bodied and thought provoking version.

Mr. White... I had no idea!!!

I know there are miles of film on the cutting room floor, but I had no appreciation the difference in editing could make. It was an enlightening experience bordering upon an epiphany and I don't have one of those often.

Welcome To The Circus!

Ryan over at West of Nowhere mentioned it was crazy at IGA around 6 pm the other day.

Bubba, you have no idea...

Merry Christmas Ya'll!

A Musical Interlude

I wish I had someone to sing this to this Christmas.

I Loves Me Some Cabella's!

Went Christmas shopping today with my Brother in Law and we stopped by Cabella's. They had a great sale on Remington 700's with a Bushnell scope for $299. I decided I wanted a .300 Win Mag after seeing the one my nephew bought last week. The only one they had left had a really ugly stock.

They had several .270's but I like a larger round. Knockdown power is my friend! The salesman looked around and found a Model 710 in .300 Win Mag with a very good looking composite stock. I immediately fell in love with it but it was $369. The salesman then offered to sell it at the Model 700 sale price of $299.

SOLD!!!

When I went to check out I whipped out a "30% off any purchase" coupon I got in the mail. That knocked the price down to $209. I then used my Cabella's card and got and additional $100 off plus $15 in Cabella's points. There is also a mail-in rebate for $50.

Final price $44 !!!

This is the first brand new rifle I've ever owned and I can't be happier with the gun or the deal! A friend just told me " Carefull, you're gonna put an eye out, kid"!

I once shot both eyes out of a squirrel in a tree at 30 yards with a Marlin .30/30 saddle gun. Pan fried him with some okra, onions and potatoes.

I hope to get bigger game with this gun.

You're all invited to the first cook out!

Drool

The image does not do justice to these little bits of ambergris. One of my vendors cornered me a few months ago during a fundraiser for their kids. I signed up for a couple bags of cookies to be a nice guy.

O M F G !

These cookies are awesome!

Imagine little bite sized Oreo's dipped in white chocolate.

Greatness...

Attention Bloggers

I feel the need to point out a neat little feature for those of you using Blogger.

Go to Blogger Dashboard.
Click Settings.
Click Comments.
Scroll down to "Comment Form Placement".
Check "Pop-up window".

What this does is open the comments form in a pop-up window instead of navigating you to a new page. It REALLY speeds things up and allows you to quickly go back and forth to the original post without losing everything you've typed.

Try it, you'll like it.

We return you now to our regular programming.....

I Predict Greatness

Clint Eastwood goes out on a limb and casts his latest film with unknown untrained actors.

...and a Happy New Year

Chrysler will shut all 30 of its plants for at least a month starting Dec. 19, and Ford said it will idle 9 of 15 North American assembly plants in the first week of January.

Cook Free or Die

I really like watching Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations. I know I've posted about this before, but Tony takes you off the beaten Tourista Trap tour and shows you the real food and lives of the locals.

Take tonight's show for example.

I've been to Jamaica before and I thought I did a pretty good job of escaping the aforementioned Tourist Trap tour. Apparently, I have no clue. Tony really gets down on the local level when sampling eateries and people that run them. I learned more about life in Jamaica watching Tony for an hour than I did spending a week there myself.

Are you really going to sit there and tell me that most people in Ocho Rios don't eat at the Sandals Resort? Turns out a street vendor with a 55 gallon oil drum barbecue pit serves more customers on a daily basis. I'm pretty sure it's tastier, too.

I also love Tony's attitude. "Isn't there a bar near here?"

Usually, there is...

90 Per Hour?

I watched a show on HBO the other night where a woman claimed to have 90 orgasms per hour fantasising about Stephen Colbert.

Trust me, it wasn't a 2 way street...

Bridgeport Christmas Parade

Forgive me for the poor picture quality. It's the best I could do with my phone. It's got a crappy camera with bad motion focus and all the closeups are too blurry to make out.

It's like looking at a Picasso.

But trust me the parade was bigger than what I have to show. There were several other floats, The Mighty Marching Maroon and riders on horseback. Plus, Santa was there riding high atop the firetruck and all the little children were scrambling for candy in the streets.

Ah, good times... small town style.

Stronger, Faster, Better Than He Was Before

No, I'm not talking about Col. Steve Austin. I'm referring to my new computer! It's an iBUYPOWER Gamer loaded with goodies like an AMD Athlon 64 X2 5000+ CPU, NVIDIA GeForce 8400 GS video, 250 Gig harddrive and 2 Gigs of RAM. I also got it for $155 off at newegg.com. Greatness, eh?

Well, now for the bad news. It came with Windows Vista.

Jeesus H. Christ, how many computer platforms am I going to have to learn? I started with punchcards back in the 70's. Then there was Cobal, several versions of DOS, Windows 3.1, 95, 98, NT, ME, 2000, XP and now Vista. Each one a bigger powerdown to learn than the one before. Vista looks to be no different.

Plus, I have to reload all my programs and settings. I also lost a buttload of documents and forms I made for work on Excel (see aforementioned powerdown to learn). Hopefully I can get the old Dell to fire up one more time and stay running long enough for me to transfer the contents of my harddrive. But I'm going to have to buy a LAN cable before I can try that.

BRRRRRR!!!!!

Definitely time to dig out the longjohns! Low tonight of 27 with sleet and snow possible.

Shiver me timbers!

Now watch UPS not deliver my new computer because of the weather....

It's Dead Jim!

Well my faithful old Dell is kaput. Luckily I was able to keep it alive long enough to order a new system from Newegg.com.

So, the posts will be few until the new puter arrives. my main problem is I'm suddenly without Full Tilt Poker or Aces High.

Pardon me while I crawl to the corner and curl up in a fetal position...

Let's Rodeo!

It's National Finals Rodeo time in Las Vegas! Ya know, I still hate the NFR being in Las Vegas. The Thomas and Mack Arena is too small.

Did you know the NFR was originally in Dallas?

Anyway, here's how Round 1 went:

From The Associated Press

Luke Branquinho won the first round of steer wrestling on Thursday night in the Wrangler National Finals Rodeo to take the top spot in the world standings, while Billy Etbauer moved into the season lead in saddle bronc.

Branquinho, from Los Alamos, Calif., won with a time of 3.6 seconds to move up from second to first in the Professional Rodeo Cowboys Association world standings with $147,547. Curtis Cassidy of Canada was second in 3.7.

Wade Sumpter of Fowler, Colo., entered the NFR as the leader with $133,685, but was unable to place among the top six finishers with a time of 4.4 and fell to second place in the standings.
"I just think of it as 10 one-headers. Go at 'em and try to win as much as I can because you can't worry about the average," Branquinho said. "If you go win five, six or seven rounds, that pretty much takes care of it."

In saddle bronc riding, Etbauer, from Edmond, Okla., moved into first place by finishing second in the opening round with an 85.5 on Aces Full. Etbauer moved up from second to first in the standings with $153,624, while previous leader Cody Wright of Milford, Utah, didn't cash a check as one of the top six and fell to second with $145,192. Bryce Miller of Buffalo, S.D., won with an 89 on Knife Money.

In bareback riding, world leader Steven Dent of Mullen, Neb., remained in first place by placing second in the opening round with a score of 86.5 on Lunitic Fringe. Chris Harris of Itasca, Texas, won with an 88.5 on Power Play.

In team roping, Garrett Tonozzi of Fruita, Colo., and Kinney Harrell of San Angelo, Texas, won in 4.6 seconds. Tonozzi and Harrell entered the NFR as the 15th and final qualifiers. Former world champions Trevor Brazile of Decatur, Texas, and Patrick Smith of Midland, Texas, placed second in 4.8.

In tie-down roping, Hunter Herrin of Apache, Okla., won in 7.5 and remained second in the world with $134,390. Josh Peek of Pueblo, Colo., held the standings lead with $132,539, but didn't place with a time of 9.10 in the opening round.

"When you get out of the barrier and get your calf roped, you just have to get a time," Herrin said. "It's kind of been a problem out here in the past, but maybe I've matured a little bit to where I can just get it around their necks and tie them down."

Tyson Durfey of Colbert, Wash., was second in 7.7.

In barrel racing, Jill Moody of Letcher, S.D., who remained third in the world standings, won in 14.02, while standings leader Lindsay Sears of Canada was unable to place among the top six with a time of 14.24. Cassie Moseley of Farwell, Texas, was second in 14.06.

In bull riding, Bobby Welsh of Gillette, Wyo., took the round with a score of 89.5 on Reeces Pieces. Standings leader Chance Smart of Philadelphia, Miss., was fifth with an 85.5 on Night Moves and remained first with $164,908.

I need to meet a cute little Barrel Racer Girl.

Cowboy up ya'll!

Book 'em Danno!

If you are a frequent reader then you know I hate thieves with a passion. I'll do whatever it takes to bring them to justice. If you're going to steal from me, you had better be damn good at it because I won't quit digging around until I catch you.

Such was "The Case Of The Reddy Whip Huffer". Ever since Diamond closed we inherited their customers. Unfortunately, we also inherited their thieves as well. Luckily, they are dumb thieves. I have been finding used Reddy Whip cans scattered around the store. Someone has been sucking the gas out of them for a cheap high.

Ya know, if you want to risk death sucking on a can of whip cream then by all means, go for it. Darwin wins. But pay for the stuff before you huff!

We have been watching closely for empty cans hidden on the isles and yesterday we knew within an hour of when it happened. It was just a matter of watching the surveillance video and finding out who it was. I had a couple of suspects, but it turns out they were completely innocent. It was a guy in his 30's doing it. Not some high school kid looking for a rebellious buzz. This guy was a grown man with a job and responsabilities and here he is sucking whip cream cans at the grocery store. God knows what else this guy has going on in his life.

Ted Danson says: You're a LOSER!

I took some snapshots of the video with my phone and showed them around to the employees with instructions not to approach him, but to notify the manager on duty and let us handle it.

I made sure the manager that relieved me got a good look as well.

I hadn't even made it home when my phone rang. It was the manager that relieved me letting me know they had just busted "The Huffer". He walked in right after I walked out. The cops were called and he was caught red(dy) handed.

I wonder if they serve Reddy Whip in jail? And that's got to be a beat down to explain to the other guys...

Hardened tattoo covered inmate #1: So, what are you in for Fish?

Fish: Sucking Reddy Whip at the IGA.

Hardened tattoo covered inmate #1: Oh really?

Survey Says...

When I started these ramblings from the middle of a Texas hayfield, never in my wildest dreams did I ever expect to have over 5,000 hits in less than a year. As of today according to Google Analytics the count is 5,195!

I feel like I should do something special like book the World's Largest Non-Nuclear Coast Guard Marching Band for a parade. Unfortunately, this is a non-profit gig and that's not in my budget so y'all will have to settle for my humble thanks. Hopefully my downhome wit and wisdom will keep you coming back for more. If that doesn't work then I'll have to break out the scantily clad... wait, I think somebody already has that idea covered...

Anyway, a big tip of the hat and my sincere thanks for stopping by!

Ya'll come back now, ya hear?

Breakfast Of Champions

OK, so maybe it's not your traditional country breakfast. You know orange juice, biscuits, gravy, eggs over easy, sausage, ham, bacon, pancakes with syrup and butter and a big glass of milk. But if you eat THAT for breakfast trust me you will soon be eating THIS.

Altho it is low cal (OK, the Dr.Pepper kinda screws that part up), it isn't very filling.