Guinn 'Big Boy' Williams

The "Wise County Cowboy". Yep, believe it or not we have had a legitimate movie star from the WC.

Guinn "Big Boy" Williams made over 200 Hollywood films . 200? Really?? He starred along side Jimmy Cagney, John Wayne, Errol Flynn, Pat O'Brien, Humphrey Bogart, Fredric March, Janet Gaynor, Edgar Kennedy, Alan Hale and many more. He was born in Decatur on April 26, 1899.

He was known as the "Babe Ruth of Polo".

SEE!!! I told you we were ripe for polo around here!!!

He was discovered by none other than Will Rogers and started out as a stuntman then worked his way up thru the ranks.

Read his complete bio at IMDB.

Ode To Mickey Hand

Let me tell you how it will be

There's one for you, nineteen for me

'Cause I'm the taxman

Yeah, I'm the taxman

Should five percent appear too small

Be thankful I don't take it all

'Cause I'm the taxman
Yeah, I'm the taxman

(If you drive a car car) I'll tax the street
(If you try to sit sit) I'll tax your seat
(If you get too cold cold) I'll tax the heat
(If you take a walk walk) I'll tax your feet, Taxman!

'Cause I'm the taxman
Yeah, I'm the taxman

Don't ask me what I want it for
(Ah, ah, Mr. Wilson)
If you don't want to pay some more
(Ah, ah, Mr. Heath)

'Cause I'm the taxman
Yeah, I'm the taxman

Now my advise for those who die
(Taxman!)
Declare the pennies on your eyes
(Taxman!)

'Cause I'm the taxman
Yeah, I'm the taxman

And you're working for no one, but me
(Taxman!)

Movie Of The Week: In The Valley Of Elah

Wow! What an amazing and stunning film by Paul Haggis! I'm not sure I'm qualified to comment on this movie that is based on actual events. It is a powerful piece of cinema. (SPOILER ALERT!)

Tommy Lee Jones turns in a predictably impecible performance as an ex-MP investigating the murder of his son just back from Iraq.

Charlize Theron plays a single mom recently promoted from traffic to detective that has yet to earn the respect of her fellow officers. A matter of feet determine who investigates the crime and the locals willingly turn it over to the military. She teams up with Jones and uncovers the disturbing truth behind his son's death after her department blows it off.

This may be the best performance Theron has ever done on film.

A must see.

Irony

I can't make this stuff up.

It Was A Dark and Icestormy Night

Icestormy? Is that even a word? Well, it is now! There's a ton of stuff I need to do tomorrow today but it looks like the weather is going to put the kibosh on that.

I promised BrotherInLaw that I'd put an outside hydrant by the wellhouse so he can fill a watertank for his cattle over here in one of my pastures. The stock tank (that's a pond for you non-locals) is extremely low and muddy. It don't look like that's happening today.

If I was a good blogger (snicker!) I'd dig around and find some data on this drought we are going thru. Personally, I can't remember one this bad since the 70's. That was a doozy. It was so dry we resorted to high explosives.

Dad was friends with an explosives expert at one of the local rock crushers. With a bit of bribery involving a couple half gallons of Jim Beam we were going to attempt to blow open some springs on our property. Early that Sunday morning the explosives guy (we'll call him JB) arrived and we set off into the pasture to do the deed.

There were 3 springs. We got to the first and I was told to start digging it out. I dug down 3-4 feet and then JB put in 2 small charges and lit the fuse. We walked back about 200 ft and waited.

BOOM!

Mud and rocks went flying thru the air. We ran back to find a huge hole slowly filling with water. Success!!! Now on to the next one where we repeated the procedure with the same results. I have failed to tell you that while I was digging, JB and Dad were drinking whiskey. By the time we reached the 3rd one, both JB and Dad were pretty well lit.

This was the big spring. It was still flowing a little bit of water even though it was full of dirt and rock. I dug a hole about twice as deep as the others, JB put in 2 small charges and we trotted back to our safety point.

BOOM!

This time when we returned we found the hole filling fast with clear cold water. We hit the jackpot! Well if 2 small charges did this, just think what 2 large charges would do! JB rigged up 2 large charges tossed them in the pool of water and back we go to the safety point.

KA-BOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!

This time our safety point wasn't very safe. INCOMING! Boulders the size of beach balls were flying thru the air. Small pebbles and bits of mud peppered us like a giant shotgun. A rock the size of your fist barely missed me as I stood there like a deer in the headlights. Holy shee-it!

We ran back to the spring to see the results of our handy work. It wasn't what we expected. Water had been rising over a foot a minute after the first blast. The second blast fixed that. Instead of opening the spring more, it blew the bottom out of it. The water was swirling downward just like a toilet. When the hole emptied out you could hear a large amount of water running underground. I wanted to crawl down into the hole and see if I could locate the source thru the giant crack in the rocks, but Dad wouldn't let me.

We didn't get all the water we were after, but I did learn some valuable lessons:

1. Sometimes, you can have too much of a good thing.
2. Quit while you're ahead.
3. Nitroglycerin and alcohol don't mix.

Cynical Bunch, Ain't We?

Well the polls have closed and the ballots tabulated.

Obama will achive many campaign goals. - 1
Obama will achieve few campaign goals. - 8
Obama will ask McCain if he still wants the job. - 1

At least somebody has a sense of humor!

Skystream 3.7

There was an ad last week and a feature story this week (coincidence or unbiased, groundbreaking journalism? You decide...) in The Mess about a local company selling wind and solar power systems. I'm a firm believer in the concept and product, but from personal experience I wouldn't spend a nickle with the dealer.

I've been planning on buying a Skystream 3.7 for a couple of years now. It's a proven product and I am buying one. I just won't be spending any of those hard earned dollars with a particular asshole when I do.

First impressions are powerful things. BTW, down here in Texas we usually greet new neighbors with "Howdy!" not "Who the fuck are you?"

You never know when that will come back to bite you in the ass, do you?

Thunder Road

Just 26 days to go...

Stranger Things Have Happened

We have a black President. The Arizona Cardinals are in the Super Bowl. To be completely honest, I never thought they would ever sell beer in Decatur either. The world didn't come to an end when that happened, so maybe there is hope on the horizon afterall.

Personally, I'd like to see a more UNITED States of America. I'm really worn down by the hate and discontent coming from the extremists on all sides. You can't please all of the people all of the time. But cain't we just all get along for a while? It's 2009 fer Christ's sake!

I am proposing a political Cease Fire for the next 100 days. Everyone all pull together as a team and get this country back on track. Give him the ball on the 20 and 4 downs. Let's see what he can get done.

We can do this for America.

Life

The Dream:

The Reality:

Life is cruel.

Dreamboat Annie

I caught this concert on DirecTv's 101 several months ago. Now it's playing on Palladia, DTV Ch 332. This is a great retrospective for Heart fans! It is a complete performance of the original album in concert, filled with commentary from the band.

A must see for the serious audiophile.

New To The Worthy List

I stumbled across an excellent blog. While surfing thru links from the comments on the last post I found As The Coconuts Drop by Barnacle. This guy is a hoot! He also has some fantastic photography.

And apparently his wife has a very fine ass.

(Note: There is an adult content warning, but I found nothing objectionable or NSFW)

I'm Getting Itchy Feet

No, I don't need some Absorbine, Jr. I've been in 1 spot for too long. I love to travel. I NEED to travel. It's the main reason I drove a truck for so many years. It's a big world and I can't see enough of it. OK, I've seen all the Arctic Circle I care to! (See your local U.S. Coast Guard recruiter today!)

For the past several years I've been aching to go to Belize. Placencia to be exact, roughly 700 miles south of Cancun, but I've put it off because I don't want to take the trip alone. It's the less inhabited portion of Southern Belize and is one of the last "unspoiled" areas of the world. It's a tropical paradise and was named one of the Top 10 places to retire a few years ago by Maxim. It has the 2nd largest Barrier Reef in the world, they speak english, love Americans, the cost of living is cheeeeeeap and they have a set-up where you can live there TAX FREE if you are over 40. Unfortunately, it has become a hotspot for those very same reasons.

If I don't make the trip this year, odds are I'll miss the unspoiled beauty of mile after mile of white sandy beach and lush, untouched tropical splendor. If I wait any longer it will be wall to wall all-inclusive tourist resorts with their air conditioning, all you can eat buffets and swim up bars filled with scantily clad women from around the world looking for a holiday fling.

Hmmm... let me rethink this a bit...

It's The Simple Things...

I got my new(er) Dodge truck a few months ago. As with all used cars there are issues. So far I only have two. There is a rattle in the driver's side window that bugs the shit out of me and the windshield washer doesn't work.

Today I went proactive on the 2nd. I tore apart the windshield cowling and cleaned all the lines and valves on the washer assembly. Surprisingly, it was easier than I expected for the teardown, only a few plastic retainers and 2 screws. But after tearing it all apart, it still doesn't work. I'm pretty sure the $.98 plastic spray nozzles are plugged with slime. (Always use washer fluid, not tap water!) I tried to unplug the nozzle with a small wire. I tried compressed air. I even took an old toothbrush and fished around, but no go. So I spent the better part of 2 hours accomplishing nothing other than confirming the lines and valves are clean and the nozzles are plugged.

Now all I have to do is run down 2 new spray nozzles. I searched all my usual online parts resources and came up with squat. With my luck it's an OEM only part, they are $20 each and on permanent backorder. (Seriously, use washer fluid!)

All I want to do is wash the rock truck mud off my windshield...

UPDATE: I didn't miss it by much. The part is a Dealer Only OEM part and it IS on backorder. The good news? They are only $15 each, not $20.

PJTP

Don't start going nuts trying to figure it out. Posting Just To Post.

Been pretty dull around The South 40 lately. Not much news to pass along, so I haven't.

I could do a random thoughts post, but that's been done to death.

My sleep patterns are all screwed up, too. Bouts of insomnia followed by hibernation does not a creative writer make.

So you get PJTP.

Polo

I just watched my first polo match ever on ESPN2. It was great and looked hella fun to play! I wonder why it hasn't caught on around here? We have all the key ingredients (good riders and good horses). It looks like a natural fit for Texas.

I suppose there is that "snobby rich folks" stigma to the game, but that's got nothing to do with it being fun to play and watch. It's basically a 4 on 4 soccer game played on horseback with no goalies.

Sound interesting? Here's more info on the game.

Et tu, Brute?

I can't believe it. I extol the greatness of "Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations" time and again here at The South 40. Not just because is it the best travel/food show on TV. But because Tony is by far the coolest, most down to earth host on the air, period. You come for the chow and scenery, you stay for the commentary.

And now this from Liberally Lean...

I mentioned "No Reservations" with Anthony Bourdain a couple of weeks ago and since then someone at the show has sent me two personalized emails thanking me (even mentioned Liberally Lean by name) and asking me to promote the new season.

(Cue the Hitchcock music) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

He didn't even get the name right and he gets personal correspondence? Guess that's karma for taking a potshot at LLLDQ with the sextoy review. Looks like I brought a knife to a gunfight.

If Barry hooks up with a Cute Little Racegirl, I might just go postal.

Oh, don't forget to catch the new season of Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations monday nights on The Travel Channel.

Monday, Monday...

I rented a couple DVD's last night that I have been dying to watch, The Dark Knight and Ironman. TDK was good, but it got a little too cartoonish for me toward the end. Heath Ledger stole the show. His intrepritation of The Joker was riviting. Ironman, on the other hand, was just fantastic from start to finish. I won't do a review, but it was definitely a $1.49 well spent!

Now, I just have to slip and slide to Bridgeport and back to return them. I suddenly remember why I don't rent DVD's.

Our Lady of Blessed Traction, don't fail me now!

Take THAT Liberally Lean!

OK, Barry has pics of plenty of hot chicks. BUT, (and I'm pretty sure about this) he's never linked you to a personal sex toy review by a hot chick!

Ladies, you may want to take notes. Guys, if they ever make one of those that can change a flat tire we've got a problem.

Rockin' Chair New Year's Eve

I've watched Dick Clark from Times Square for as long as I can remember. He is an American icon. But sadly, he's no longer the oldest teenager in America. Since his stroke 4 years ago he's continued to host (albeit in a reduced capacity) Dick Clark's Rockin' New Years Eve. The first year it was a triumph of his spirit to survive hosting the show. Now, it's not.



I really hate to criticize his performance, but in the vernacular of broadasting he's not air quality anymore. It's kinda like Brett Farve. It's past time to hang up the cleats. The mind is eager and willing, but the body can no longer do the job.



Dick, be satisfied with putting the show together and getting it on the air. There's no need for you to be in front of the camera anymore. You've done a helluva job, but your time has past.
Clark... out. Get it?

Channel 8 put on another decent attempt at local programming with their BigD-NYE. Hard to miss the fact that Gordo Keith was relegated from host to 3rd banana behind Pete Delkis and Dale Hansen. Looks like Belo isn't as liberal with the airwaves as they were in years past.

Hey, at least it was local programming!

Footnote: Kellie Pickler, you look like a hoochie with that glitter makeup!

ATTENTION BRIDGEPORT: SKY IS NOT FALLING!

The world is not coming to an end! This is not Y2K! All IGA's will be open all day tomorrow!

You may think I'm being overly dramatic here. That is unless you went to IGA today. KOWABUNGA! The place was a madhouse!

I don't think I'm in danger of revealing any trade secrets here, but history shows New Year's Eve is not a big sales day for grocery stores and we scheduled accordingly. Boy, was that a mistake! We were swamped from the time we opened the doors to the time I made my tactical retreat. We had all the registers open (WalMart could take a lesson on that) and had anyone qualified to run a register working at one.

Today was also the day I make home deliveries so I wasn't able to help out as much as I could have. But trust me, I was multitasking my ass off. Take phone order, pull order, deliver order, RTB (return to base), work customer service window, pull 2 orders at once, pull 3rd order while they check out the other 2, stock shelves, deliver orders, RTB, make bank run, work express register, pull order, deliver, RTB ect,ect,ect.... lather, rinse, repeat.

The highlight of my day came an hour and a half after I should have ended my shift. I stayed around to help out and we ran out of bread. I went to the back brought out fresh bread and started filling the shelves. I had just finished filling the hamburger buns when a lady (and I use the term loosely) walked up and started digging thru the buns. She would pinch then discard a pack of buns and move on to the next. After the 7 or 8th pack, in a very polite tone I said "Ma'am, they're all the same date. I just put them out" in case she thought there were fresher buns on the shelf. She went from 0 to Bitch in .0002 milliseconds.

"I HAVE THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE!!!"

I just said "Yes, Ma'am you do." and she grabbed a pack of buns and walked off. The Butcher was standing next to me and was doing his best not to burst out in laughter. He knew what I wanted to say was "Yes Ma'am you do. But you don't have the right to make a total mess out of the shelf I just finished filling with the freshest bread possible in Wise County and ruin the ones you don't like for everyone else!" But, I didn't. I maintained an even strain and took a fish to the face for the team. Let me tell you, I'm am not paid enough to take the daily ration of abuse I get from some customers. Not nearly enough.

Bridgeport shoppers will be in for a cold dose of reality when Brookshire's opens (if it ever does). You think you hate WalMart? Brookshires is structured just like them. They are a corporate operation, not home owned. You won't be able to pick up the phone and talk to the owner anytime you want. As bad as you may think IGA is, you don't realise the level of personalized customer service we aim for. We really want to give you everything you desire and then some. But we are in Wise County, not the Metroplex. There are certain things we just can't do because of our floor space and location. But dang it, I'll bend over backwards to try and make it happen so my customer will be happy.

Once again, all our stores will be open regular hours New Years Day so no need to panic. There will still be food on the shelves.

So now if you will excuse me there is a big bottle of Maker's Mark bourbon that needs some "customer service".

Happy New Year, ya'll!

Movie of the Week: That Thing You Do!

This is one of my personal Top 10 favorite films. Anytime it is on, it's my default choice. That Thing You Do is a fun, snappy, innocent little 60's romp written, produced and directed by Tom Hanks. It stars Tom Everett Scott, Liv Tyler, Johnathon Schaech, Steve Zahn, Ethan Embry and of course, Tom Hanks. TTYD also has a slew of suppporting characters and cameos played by Peter Scolari, Rita Wilson, Chris Isaak, Kevin Pollak, and many more. It was the birth of his production company PlayTone that is responsable for many quality productions including Band of Brothers and From The Earth To The Moon. I've seen this film a hundred times, but tonight on Encore Love I saw an alternate version I've never seen before.

It was very interesting. You would think that the original, being a pet project of Tom Hanks, would be exactly what Hanks hand in mind for the screen. This "Extended Edition" had greatly expanded characters, back story and music. The story was told in a deeper, more serious tone than the lighthearted "original". There were new camera angles, expanded dialogue, alternate scene takes and song versions. It was a completely different film.

It was very intriguing to see how this story would play out after seeing it countless times before and knowing it by heart. What it turned out to be was a treat. It was like opening your favorite Christmas present again for the first time and finding a brand new, more complex, full bodied and thought provoking version.

Mr. White... I had no idea!!!

I know there are miles of film on the cutting room floor, but I had no appreciation the difference in editing could make. It was an enlightening experience bordering upon an epiphany and I don't have one of those often.

Welcome To The Circus!

Ryan over at West of Nowhere mentioned it was crazy at IGA around 6 pm the other day.

Bubba, you have no idea...

Merry Christmas Ya'll!

A Musical Interlude

I wish I had someone to sing this to this Christmas.

I Loves Me Some Cabella's!

Went Christmas shopping today with my Brother in Law and we stopped by Cabella's. They had a great sale on Remington 700's with a Bushnell scope for $299. I decided I wanted a .300 Win Mag after seeing the one my nephew bought last week. The only one they had left had a really ugly stock.

They had several .270's but I like a larger round. Knockdown power is my friend! The salesman looked around and found a Model 710 in .300 Win Mag with a very good looking composite stock. I immediately fell in love with it but it was $369. The salesman then offered to sell it at the Model 700 sale price of $299.

SOLD!!!

When I went to check out I whipped out a "30% off any purchase" coupon I got in the mail. That knocked the price down to $209. I then used my Cabella's card and got and additional $100 off plus $15 in Cabella's points. There is also a mail-in rebate for $50.

Final price $44 !!!

This is the first brand new rifle I've ever owned and I can't be happier with the gun or the deal! A friend just told me " Carefull, you're gonna put an eye out, kid"!

I once shot both eyes out of a squirrel in a tree at 30 yards with a Marlin .30/30 saddle gun. Pan fried him with some okra, onions and potatoes.

I hope to get bigger game with this gun.

You're all invited to the first cook out!

Drool

The image does not do justice to these little bits of ambergris. One of my vendors cornered me a few months ago during a fundraiser for their kids. I signed up for a couple bags of cookies to be a nice guy.

O M F G !

These cookies are awesome!

Imagine little bite sized Oreo's dipped in white chocolate.

Greatness...

Attention Bloggers

I feel the need to point out a neat little feature for those of you using Blogger.

Go to Blogger Dashboard.
Click Settings.
Click Comments.
Scroll down to "Comment Form Placement".
Check "Pop-up window".

What this does is open the comments form in a pop-up window instead of navigating you to a new page. It REALLY speeds things up and allows you to quickly go back and forth to the original post without losing everything you've typed.

Try it, you'll like it.

We return you now to our regular programming.....

I Predict Greatness

Clint Eastwood goes out on a limb and casts his latest film with unknown untrained actors.

...and a Happy New Year

Chrysler will shut all 30 of its plants for at least a month starting Dec. 19, and Ford said it will idle 9 of 15 North American assembly plants in the first week of January.

Cook Free or Die

I really like watching Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations. I know I've posted about this before, but Tony takes you off the beaten Tourista Trap tour and shows you the real food and lives of the locals.

Take tonight's show for example.

I've been to Jamaica before and I thought I did a pretty good job of escaping the aforementioned Tourist Trap tour. Apparently, I have no clue. Tony really gets down on the local level when sampling eateries and people that run them. I learned more about life in Jamaica watching Tony for an hour than I did spending a week there myself.

Are you really going to sit there and tell me that most people in Ocho Rios don't eat at the Sandals Resort? Turns out a street vendor with a 55 gallon oil drum barbecue pit serves more customers on a daily basis. I'm pretty sure it's tastier, too.

I also love Tony's attitude. "Isn't there a bar near here?"

Usually, there is...

90 Per Hour?

I watched a show on HBO the other night where a woman claimed to have 90 orgasms per hour fantasising about Stephen Colbert.

Trust me, it wasn't a 2 way street...

Bridgeport Christmas Parade

Forgive me for the poor picture quality. It's the best I could do with my phone. It's got a crappy camera with bad motion focus and all the closeups are too blurry to make out.

It's like looking at a Picasso.

But trust me the parade was bigger than what I have to show. There were several other floats, The Mighty Marching Maroon and riders on horseback. Plus, Santa was there riding high atop the firetruck and all the little children were scrambling for candy in the streets.

Ah, good times... small town style.

Stronger, Faster, Better Than He Was Before

No, I'm not talking about Col. Steve Austin. I'm referring to my new computer! It's an iBUYPOWER Gamer loaded with goodies like an AMD Athlon 64 X2 5000+ CPU, NVIDIA GeForce 8400 GS video, 250 Gig harddrive and 2 Gigs of RAM. I also got it for $155 off at newegg.com. Greatness, eh?

Well, now for the bad news. It came with Windows Vista.

Jeesus H. Christ, how many computer platforms am I going to have to learn? I started with punchcards back in the 70's. Then there was Cobal, several versions of DOS, Windows 3.1, 95, 98, NT, ME, 2000, XP and now Vista. Each one a bigger powerdown to learn than the one before. Vista looks to be no different.

Plus, I have to reload all my programs and settings. I also lost a buttload of documents and forms I made for work on Excel (see aforementioned powerdown to learn). Hopefully I can get the old Dell to fire up one more time and stay running long enough for me to transfer the contents of my harddrive. But I'm going to have to buy a LAN cable before I can try that.

BRRRRRR!!!!!

Definitely time to dig out the longjohns! Low tonight of 27 with sleet and snow possible.

Shiver me timbers!

Now watch UPS not deliver my new computer because of the weather....

It's Dead Jim!

Well my faithful old Dell is kaput. Luckily I was able to keep it alive long enough to order a new system from Newegg.com.

So, the posts will be few until the new puter arrives. my main problem is I'm suddenly without Full Tilt Poker or Aces High.

Pardon me while I crawl to the corner and curl up in a fetal position...

Let's Rodeo!

It's National Finals Rodeo time in Las Vegas! Ya know, I still hate the NFR being in Las Vegas. The Thomas and Mack Arena is too small.

Did you know the NFR was originally in Dallas?

Anyway, here's how Round 1 went:

From The Associated Press

Luke Branquinho won the first round of steer wrestling on Thursday night in the Wrangler National Finals Rodeo to take the top spot in the world standings, while Billy Etbauer moved into the season lead in saddle bronc.

Branquinho, from Los Alamos, Calif., won with a time of 3.6 seconds to move up from second to first in the Professional Rodeo Cowboys Association world standings with $147,547. Curtis Cassidy of Canada was second in 3.7.

Wade Sumpter of Fowler, Colo., entered the NFR as the leader with $133,685, but was unable to place among the top six finishers with a time of 4.4 and fell to second place in the standings.
"I just think of it as 10 one-headers. Go at 'em and try to win as much as I can because you can't worry about the average," Branquinho said. "If you go win five, six or seven rounds, that pretty much takes care of it."

In saddle bronc riding, Etbauer, from Edmond, Okla., moved into first place by finishing second in the opening round with an 85.5 on Aces Full. Etbauer moved up from second to first in the standings with $153,624, while previous leader Cody Wright of Milford, Utah, didn't cash a check as one of the top six and fell to second with $145,192. Bryce Miller of Buffalo, S.D., won with an 89 on Knife Money.

In bareback riding, world leader Steven Dent of Mullen, Neb., remained in first place by placing second in the opening round with a score of 86.5 on Lunitic Fringe. Chris Harris of Itasca, Texas, won with an 88.5 on Power Play.

In team roping, Garrett Tonozzi of Fruita, Colo., and Kinney Harrell of San Angelo, Texas, won in 4.6 seconds. Tonozzi and Harrell entered the NFR as the 15th and final qualifiers. Former world champions Trevor Brazile of Decatur, Texas, and Patrick Smith of Midland, Texas, placed second in 4.8.

In tie-down roping, Hunter Herrin of Apache, Okla., won in 7.5 and remained second in the world with $134,390. Josh Peek of Pueblo, Colo., held the standings lead with $132,539, but didn't place with a time of 9.10 in the opening round.

"When you get out of the barrier and get your calf roped, you just have to get a time," Herrin said. "It's kind of been a problem out here in the past, but maybe I've matured a little bit to where I can just get it around their necks and tie them down."

Tyson Durfey of Colbert, Wash., was second in 7.7.

In barrel racing, Jill Moody of Letcher, S.D., who remained third in the world standings, won in 14.02, while standings leader Lindsay Sears of Canada was unable to place among the top six with a time of 14.24. Cassie Moseley of Farwell, Texas, was second in 14.06.

In bull riding, Bobby Welsh of Gillette, Wyo., took the round with a score of 89.5 on Reeces Pieces. Standings leader Chance Smart of Philadelphia, Miss., was fifth with an 85.5 on Night Moves and remained first with $164,908.

I need to meet a cute little Barrel Racer Girl.

Cowboy up ya'll!

Book 'em Danno!

If you are a frequent reader then you know I hate thieves with a passion. I'll do whatever it takes to bring them to justice. If you're going to steal from me, you had better be damn good at it because I won't quit digging around until I catch you.

Such was "The Case Of The Reddy Whip Huffer". Ever since Diamond closed we inherited their customers. Unfortunately, we also inherited their thieves as well. Luckily, they are dumb thieves. I have been finding used Reddy Whip cans scattered around the store. Someone has been sucking the gas out of them for a cheap high.

Ya know, if you want to risk death sucking on a can of whip cream then by all means, go for it. Darwin wins. But pay for the stuff before you huff!

We have been watching closely for empty cans hidden on the isles and yesterday we knew within an hour of when it happened. It was just a matter of watching the surveillance video and finding out who it was. I had a couple of suspects, but it turns out they were completely innocent. It was a guy in his 30's doing it. Not some high school kid looking for a rebellious buzz. This guy was a grown man with a job and responsabilities and here he is sucking whip cream cans at the grocery store. God knows what else this guy has going on in his life.

Ted Danson says: You're a LOSER!

I took some snapshots of the video with my phone and showed them around to the employees with instructions not to approach him, but to notify the manager on duty and let us handle it.

I made sure the manager that relieved me got a good look as well.

I hadn't even made it home when my phone rang. It was the manager that relieved me letting me know they had just busted "The Huffer". He walked in right after I walked out. The cops were called and he was caught red(dy) handed.

I wonder if they serve Reddy Whip in jail? And that's got to be a beat down to explain to the other guys...

Hardened tattoo covered inmate #1: So, what are you in for Fish?

Fish: Sucking Reddy Whip at the IGA.

Hardened tattoo covered inmate #1: Oh really?

Survey Says...

When I started these ramblings from the middle of a Texas hayfield, never in my wildest dreams did I ever expect to have over 5,000 hits in less than a year. As of today according to Google Analytics the count is 5,195!

I feel like I should do something special like book the World's Largest Non-Nuclear Coast Guard Marching Band for a parade. Unfortunately, this is a non-profit gig and that's not in my budget so y'all will have to settle for my humble thanks. Hopefully my downhome wit and wisdom will keep you coming back for more. If that doesn't work then I'll have to break out the scantily clad... wait, I think somebody already has that idea covered...

Anyway, a big tip of the hat and my sincere thanks for stopping by!

Ya'll come back now, ya hear?

Breakfast Of Champions

OK, so maybe it's not your traditional country breakfast. You know orange juice, biscuits, gravy, eggs over easy, sausage, ham, bacon, pancakes with syrup and butter and a big glass of milk. But if you eat THAT for breakfast trust me you will soon be eating THIS.

Altho it is low cal (OK, the Dr.Pepper kinda screws that part up), it isn't very filling.

Man Vs Food

Just saw a new show being promo'd on the Travel Channel. Man vs Food. Yes, only one man can face all you can eat challenges from across the country! Tune in weekly to see if this lardass Adam Richman can choke down rediculous amounts of food within a specified time frame.

You know the bit. The obligitory trip to The Big Texan Steakhouse in Amarillo, The Big Foot Lodge in Memphis and other such places around the country where morons do their best to imitate Cool Hand Luke with the local cuisine. "No man can eat 50 eggs!"

This show jumped the shark before it even hit the airwaves.

Fail.

What A Fun Week

I spent my 2 days off recovering from major oral surgery. Thanks go out to Little Sister who took the day off to chauffeur me around. I had to take Halcyon before the surgery and there was no way I could drive. I barely remember anything from the whole trip.

I woke up in the middle of the night monday and couldn't stop shivering. My was breathing hard and fast and I was pouring sweat. I finally forced myself to get out of bed and move around but it took a while to get to my feet. I was running a temp of 102 for a few hours before I got it back down. I still feel like I've been kicked in the head by a mule.

This is also our busiest week of the year at work so there's no calling in unless I'm dead. I made it thru my shift, but barely. Tomorrow should be interesting as well.

It doesn't look like I'll be eating any turkey either.

Must See TV: Dexter

Without a doubt Dexter is the best show on TV right now... and it only looks to get better. Michael C. Hall and Jimmy Smits should be looking at Emmy nominations for their performances and I wouldn't be shocked to see several more for this show. Great cast, great writing. You can't ask for more than that!

Get caught up with a 3 episode mini marathon of America's favorite serial killer this Saturday starting at 8:00pm on Showtime2.

Those Were The Days My Friend...

It sits there silently mocking me. Calling my name like some wicked temptress in the night. My secret addiction since I was a small boy. I could drink a gallon a day and still thirst for more.

Did I mention I love Egg Nog? I like it straight from the jug. I like it from a punchbowl. I like it from an old jelly jar. I like it from a crystal Bullwinkle holiday mug.

I know how a heroin or crack addict must feel when they're jonesing. There is sits, fresh and cold right in front of me... and I can't touch a drop of it. Because while it looks so innocent and wholesome it's actually the devil incarnate. Yes, Elsie's magical dairy product is in reality a do it yourself clogged artery kit.

After my angioplasty (that's where they run a wire from your groin up to your heart and do remote control repair work while you watch completely awake on 3 monitors) I was forced to switch to a healthy diet or die. It's a totally free choice. I mean I could continue to enjoy the finer things in life like butter, pizza, chicken fried steak and egg nog and die in a few months. Or I could wise up & cut fatty, cholesterol laden foods from my diet and live another 20 years.

I chose what was behind Door #2.

But DAMN, I miss me some egg nog.

The Bucket List

Been there, done that. But, I digress...

1. Go to Belize
2. Fall in love again
3. Leave a legacy in my Grandfather's name
4. Cut one more radio commercial
5. Drive a racecar
6. Make a batch of shine
7. Act in a film
8. Pilot an aircraft
9. Make a difference in a young kid's life
10. Visit the Arizona Memorial

Hey, Torquemada. Whaddaya say?

I'm not looking forward to tomorrow morning. The last two dentists I went to were supposed to be great. They seriously failed to live up to their press.

I'm trying a new one in Denton that a couple people I trust swear by. Normally that's the kiss of death, but a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. Unless he's looking to attract the hot snaggletoothed babes.

Not exactly what I had in mind.

Heads Up!

Note the bag just out of reach in the top left of the photo.

From The AP:

A spacewalking astronaut accidentally let go of her tool bag Tuesday after a grease gun inside it exploded, and helplessly watched as the tote and everything inside floated away.

It was one of the largest items ever to be lost by a spacewalker, and occurred during an unprecedented attempt to clean and lube a gummed-up joint at the international space station. Heidemarie Stefanyshyn-Piper was just starting to work on the joint when the mishap occurred.


She said her grease gun exploded, getting the dark gray stuff all over a camera and her gloves. While she was wiping everything off, the white, backpack-size bag slipped out of her grip, and she lost all her tools.

"Oh, great," she mumbled.

Earlier, the spacewalkers spotted a screw floating by, but were too far away to catch it. "I have no idea where it came from," Stefanyshyn-Piper told Mission Control.



NASA was not sure how the bag got loose; it should have been tethered to a larger equipment bag. Another unknown: why the grease gun discharged.

Extreme Makeover: The South 40 Edition

Finally getting some of the repairs made from the fire last January. I had a contractor lined up to do the job but he kept putting me off and finally he just bailed on me. The cold snap last week scared me enough to get the job done NOW. I'm still waiting on the money from the insurance company. They move at the speed of smell.

The guys I hired did a good job on the repairs under the house and are doing good work on the skirting. I decided to go back with 20 year metal siding instead of vinyl skirting. Stronger, more rodent proof and if it melts I don't have to worry about the house. It will be in ashes.

Yeah, I know the colors don't match. Now I have to repaint the house, but I've been wanting to do that for quite a while.

One of These Things Is Not Like The Other...

What will they think of next? This is a disposable lighter / LED flashlight. It's incredibly handy. Who sits around and thinks of these things? Probably the same guy that thought of combining the cell phone with a digital camera.

Two totally unrelated items that wind up becoming a sensation.

Reminds me of a Family Guy bit...

How Reese's was created

God Help Me I Do Love It So...

I can't help it. I LOVE HEE HAW!

Please don't judge me harshly. I was born a poor white child. I am pure-d trailer trash. Hell, I'm worse than trailer trash, we couldn't afford to live in a trailer park like rich folk did. We lived on the parking lot of a rock trucking company. Hales Transportation.

Dad worked for Walter Hales starting 1965 and they held each other in high regard. Walter and Troyce are the finest people I've ever had the honor of knowing. They were the epitome of class and high society when I was growing up. I often visited their home with Dad. They had a pair of Poodles that used to scare the fool out of me when I was a kid! Walter became Mayor of Bridgeport after he sold his trucking company. He made a great contribution to the growth of Bridgeport and it's future as mayor.

I spoke with Troyce a few days ago while I was delivering groceries to one of my customers and she reminded me she could tell a few stories on me. She's only known me since I was 3 years old. She told me about a time she came to visit and I was about 3 sitting on my Graddad's lap eating a stalk of celery. Every time I took a bite I made my Granddad take one too. Troyce Hales is still a southern belle and the class of Bridgeport, Tx. I am a better man for knowing her.

I can't tell you how fortunate I am she only knows the good and cute stories about me.

There are a few I'd rather she not hear about, ever. But I seriously digress...

Back on topic... RFD-TV is one of my secret addictions. They have become a great purveyor of old country music programs like The Wilburn Brothers, POP! Goes The Country, Porter Waggoner and my personal favorite Hee Haw! Marty Stewart also has an excellent show on RFD.
I grew up watching Hee Haw every week when I was a kid. We were an old school country family. Well, maybe not family, we were dysfunctional at best but never family. Dad was a Bob Wills addict so any music on the TV or radio HAD to be country so HeeHaw was always safe to watch. Looking back at those old shows on RFD-TV really brings back some memories.

Where, oh where are you tonight?
Why did you leave me here all alone?
I searched the world over and thought I found true love,
You met another and PFFFFFFFFTTTT, you were gone!

Hello, my name is Mike and I'm a redneck.

"A profound and overwhelming experience"

From The BBC:

The first pictures of planets outside our solar system have been taken, two groups report in the journal Science.



Visible and infrared images have been snapped of a planet orbiting a star 25 light-years away. The planet is believed to be the coolest, lowest-mass object ever seen outside our own solar neighborhood.

Paul Kalas of the University of California led an international group that used the Hubble Space Telescope to image the region around a star called Fomalhaut.

The star has a massive ring of dust surrounding it that appears to have a cleanly groomed inner edge.

The team estimates that the planet, dubbed Fomalhaut b, is 11bn miles away from its star, about as massive as Jupiter and completes an orbit in about 870 years. It may also have a ring around it.

"I nearly had a heart attack at the end of May when I confirmed that Fomalhaut b orbits its parent star," Dr Kalas said. "It's a profound and overwhelming experience to lay eyes on a planet never before seen."

25 lightyears away? That's just around the corner, universe speaking. It makes you wonder about those UFO sightings now, don't it? Think about it, if they have the technology to travel a minimum of 25 lightyears you better freakin' hope they are Vulcan and not Romulan or Klingon!

If we ever do detect life on these planets that would throw a huge monkey wrench into the Judeo/Christian religious theology. Probably would screw with the Muslim's head pretty badly, too. I'm not too sure about all the other religions. I'm admittedly uneducated about them. Bottom line is it would derail most religions.

What does this mean? How will billions of faithful react to having the rug yanked out from under them? A newer testament? New prophets? New God(s)?

Brothers and sisters this could get real ugly real fast.

Just food for thought...

BREAKING NEWS: Dale Is Rolling In His Grave

SPEED-TV is reporting that Dale Earnhardt, Inc has merged with Chip Ganassi Racing with Felix Sebates. Earnhardt/Ganassi will field a 4 car team featuring Aric Almarola, Juan Pablo Montoya, Martin Truex, Jr and a driver to be named later (#41).

Way to go Teresa...